posted Tue, 01/08/2013 - 19:26
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+ 1 anger management
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I'm sure most of us have been hot heads at one point or another in our lives. How did you get over this phase. my boy n I were talking about how it seems older people never get mad at anything whatsoever. I used to have a hot ass temper, then it went away when I was 14 or so till it coming back STRONG around 23 years old. I felt I used to be happier when I had a fuck it attitude. now I am married, kids n it wants to come back smfh. Advice. What do they teach you in anger management
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AnonI been in places that anger help me. But 9 out of 10 my anger got me in more trouble then it was worth. Was sent to anger management they taught to breath, count to ten and other b s. What i do now is really just walk away and think why that pissed me off and then try and work something out where that doesn't happen again.
AnonI dont know. I dont rage anywhere near like I used to, but things still upset me way more than they should. The stress of supporting a family, having the chaos of children running screaming and banging around, and the seemingly endless chores that an old house gives, make me want to explode at times.
I guess all in all I just dont have the energy for tantrums and rage any more. I have so many other things that need my energy I cant afford to give it to the rage.
I'm in the same boat where little things make me more mad than they should. like you said tired n stressed. This causes me to be even more irritable though
AnonI will say the one biggest factor I have noticed is regular sex deffinitely helps. Its sad to think we are so primative, but I deffinitely get way more cranky if I havent had sex in a few days. The trouble is if your feeling pissed and angry, most women arent atracted to that so its a catch 22.
My problem is I could get some sex or head from a few dif girls, but Im married n my wife going through some shit n also with our schedules, fighting constantly, neither of us are even interested in it. We just talked last night n both said we have fallen out of love with each other. kind of sucked but happy for the honesty
Anonoh fuck dude, I just saw you are 24. If you get your anger issues sorted out by 24 Id say your way ahead of most guys. Its only normal in my oppinion to still be figuring things out at your age. Sounds like you have a lot of pressure and responsibility upon your shoulders. Head up, chin up ,you will get there.
AnonIm sorry to hear that, I know it hurts and kind of rocks your world. I went through something similar though, we worked through it and now things are better than ever, 16 years together 10 of them married.
How did you fix it? didn't really upset me, it was relieving that I wasn't the only one miserable n fallen out of love. I felt guilty almost n was looking at myself like the problem. N ya Im only 24 2 kids married for half a year. Anyway how did you fix it n I need to learn abiuf my anger now because Im not in a situation to keep messing up
AnonI'll pm tonight
Fr accepted. thanks a bunch
tread-mI'll throw you my take on it and its more than one thing so I'll give you a couple IMO that "work for me".
I had a hot head young and when I would roll cycle I was ridiculous. Well as yrs went by I started to figure out what much of that was. Found out humans had a little thing called blood pressure. Lol. So as I got older and would cycle and bp would go up and I did the work to help that the temper went down. So I think we can have temper for many reasons when young but the gear makes it horrible for the young guys and especially since most of them love their dbol. These kids don't care much about AI either or water intake and salt reduction so they go from bad temper to worse.
Even so temper often looks like strength but its pure weakness and as we get older we see that . I still want to choke about 100 people a day but don't becaue I'm in control, stronger by far now than when young, recognize consequence and have the abi?ity to keep it in check. Yes some older people have a horrible temper like when they were young but they just never got stronger. Its entirely controllable if one chooses to control it. You just do it its not that hard if you make the actual conscious decision to do it but if you don't do so and you allow yourself the excuse then the weakness is in controll. So that's it with age, we allow the strength to take over through time and learning and when young or older and weak you allow the weakness to contol you rather than you controll it. . I know that will offend some but F'em I'm getting pissed off just THINKING ABOUT THEM!! LOL
The purest form of weakness as a man is when your weakness is so in controll of you that you lay hands on a woman in anger for any reason other than to restrain her if she'se beating on you. That's bottom of the barrel weak. I'm no saint, you get in my face you or both of us going to need some meds but that's a different thing when compared to in traffic and get out and beat someones ass at a red light. The weakness wins on that day. Lol. Btw,,,I think the more I've controoled it over the yrs the better I am. I am so in controll mostly now that I don't even get pissed at things that would have pissed me previoulsy. My test is through the roof but I work first to control it , then it gets easier and you control it better and better then onne day the strength has overcome the weakness and you are actually in control of yourself.
I agree it is a weakness which is why I snt to work on it. Even off cycle as I have only ran 1. I just don't know what to do.
tread-mWell I'm not a therapist brother but I'll tell you what I might do. Begin to find reward in controlling it. Such as you see a situation that would make you rage and think "ok, let's see just how strong I am, deep breath, focus on just minor the situation is, how your rage simply will add nothing positive to it and how strength will stop you. Ask "how strong am I?" Then minimize it in your mind saying "how weak would I be if I could not contro a situation so minor?" Other thoughts like"this is nothing , I got this no problem I'm stronger than it is". Its that Great power/great responsibility thing brother. Its simply understanding when you rage you disappoint people that care about you, you disrespect people that care about you and you look small. If like me you also feel small after.
Don't get me wrong, I will get stern with someone but to rage I'm a bully becAuse the truth is most of that shit is an Alpha gorilla thing and if you look around as you grow in this you see, almost nobody is my equal here physically so I'm just acting like a bully. Someone challenging you is very different but most of our rage has nothing to do with that it becomes a bully thing right? Scaring the shit out of people that would not have dared F with you anyway. I don't know, I always felt like a piece of shit after I would go off and like a bully and like an asshole and that's because that's exactly what I was. Had a guy at a fastfood place kinda get smart with me a while back and as I swelled and stepped towrds him and scared the life out of him I saw that look in his eyes that I had had a few times very young when someone used their size over me. Felt helpless and weak and little and like a nobody. Now I recognize I am capable of those things on others so am I weak or strong to use that? I went back a bit later and told him I was wrong and as he said its ok I sai no its not ok, I didn't have the right to act the way I did and I'm sorry for sppoiling your day 8 hope you know I was weak and you were the strong one keeping it under control. That was a little slip up and I've so taught myself its weak and recognize its weak and when it happens I feel weak so over time I have learned to control it. Me having a hbad day is my fing problem and I don't have the right to try and F everyones day up they have their own bhad days.
Recognizing you have an issue such as you have, is the biggest step in fixing it so good for you brother.
Ya I always feel like shit afterward when it comes to my family that I snap on. Mainly ny wife. I do agree n realize I have an anger control problem. I like that idea where to think n challenge myself. Usually when I get angry I black out a bit. n I don't think at all. just off emotion. I really like the idea of challenging myself. lately I have learned that after 10-20 seconds the anger goes away n I am able to keep my mouth closed
AnonThats a great comparison between anger , strength and weakness. Both literaly and figuratively.
As always awesome advice ! Thank you
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.Permalinkwait a couple seconds before responding to anything that ticks you off. breathe dude. honestly you might feel stupid for the first few times doing it. but it definately helps.
I will try. Thank you
Recently I've been snapping specially with my wife, n then she tells me "the steroids make you mean" n that's when i really snap, lol so when that happens i go to my good friend the matroom n punching bag, n let off some steam
Ya I hate when they say foul shit. makes it even worse. What does she do after you go to hit the bag
V-Power-AI've seen a movie related to anger management. Def. resets your reactions.
What's it called
I am a hot head, running a cycle of test for me is like running a tren cycle for some, from experience , us young people tend to be more angry then older people. because older people know themselves very well. know the consequences and make peace with ur self. its all inside u bro, u gotta fix it like i did
Gotta find YOUR personal happy spot. Some take longer to find theirs.
How do you find it??
ur getting angry because ur getting attached , ur setting a desire on things, and just gotta learn to chill and not get so attached to ur emotions
Could you go a bit more in depth please
For everyone its different. For me its my kids and family. If i go out acting stupid, i lose. Everyone has to figure their happy spot and keep in touch with it.
Mine is my family but I have lost feelings for my wife. I actually dislike her. So that puts a damper on the whole "family" thing
Nothing wrong with councilling. If low on insurance some counselor has state funds and helps with pay. I went and am poor enough it was $10/session.
Ya I been going as well for myself. my wife just went to my last session n I even lost my temper a bit in there smh. I don't think he understands me n I don't want to sound like a dick head. But the reason why I want her to change is because I don't like the new her, at all. I've been thinking of divorce because of it m no it has not been 1 month,.its been 8 months. He took it as me on some control thing. smh