tread-m's picture
tread-m
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5706

+ 3 Ladies and Gents, I give you the new Ed

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Well I'll keep this short and sweet which is Ironic since thats what Ed calls his minime. I first met Ed in a weird way for starters, the local Girl scout office had ran out of thin mints and directed me to a supplier here in Texas. Well the supplier turned out to be Ed. So I go over to his house and immediately felt uncomfortable, he invites me in and its just a bunch of dudes sittin around watching broke dck Mountain drinking wine coolers and chatting Mary Kay market analysis. Anyhoo, he and I got to talking thin mints and I found out yes, he used to be a girl scout and wanted something better for his boy so he had had signed him up for soccer. Yeah, well, it is a step up I suppose. Anyway as we talked I sort of found out this guy does have a little interest in women and I convinced him, I think, that he should try to stick to just the ladies for one yr and see if he can do without guys. He's willing to listen and I find that to be key with these things.
I would like all of you to give Ed a warm welcome and let him know you appreciate his hard work here as he vows to spend a year mantoy free. He is dedicated and even let me burn his Broke d
ck mountain box set which he had on beta, vhs, blueray, dvd, cassette and even 8 track (whaaaat?). Its a fresh start folks and he needs us now more than ever to wein himself from the wein. Just try to say no homo with anything that could tempt him, talk about girls a lot when he's around, avoid discussions of soccer (his true passion) and just treat him normal as harrd as that may be. I think the eroids family can bring this semi-young neil diamond lovin skinny jeans wearin prince purple rain listening kip lookin princesss to his senses. (not that theres anything wrong with that) no homo.....I appreciate all the help from the community btw and your donations will be used wisely on all new no homo clothing for Ed. We have also burned his Air Supply album and bought him his first man cd, AC/DC.

Sincerely...Tread

everclese's picture

Your not right bro!!

IbkillinEm's picture

Lmao!

racer50's picture

" semen to blood ratio "

  • I fell to the floor when I read that one (laughing that is). Good thing I have a office with a door.
VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

Hahahaha.... cracked me up too! thats gonna be a comment that sticks in the mind forever lmao!

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

Are they giving him an enema with a hose pipe bro... jeez imagine the stench comin from his poop pipe right now!

I bet hes led on the table watching the gloop drop into the bucket thinking about all the guys that left a deposit lol

Sheeet..just noticed the 1200 karma bro,if thats gettin heavy to carry around you can offload a little on your brothers ya know lmao!

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

lmfao!.. this sounds more serious than i first thought bro... we best send him a get well soon card looks like hes gonna need a couple hundred stitches to fix that torn ass up

racer50's picture

Before he gets the stitches, You might want to call that lady back up and have use one of this high intensity led flashlights and look up in there to make sure there ain't one of the portable meth labs cooking up in there. lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. There is nothing more flattering than a couple of old dudes fantasizing about my ass.
Enjoy brothers. Lol.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Brother my sweet ass knows know prejudice. Chicks dudes llama. Hell they all want some of this ass.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Hey racer, your closet called. It wants you to go back in it.

racer50's picture

sorry ed...got caught up in the fun..

Hey..how do you know my closet? wait...I thouhgt I felt eyes on me when I was getting my poindextor suit and tie out last night for the all girl orgy I was invited to....stay out of my closet!
lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

I'm just playing brother. Tread and Viking came out of the closet years ago.

Engineereddisaster's picture

This shouldn't be anything new to the both of you. You have both had your stomach's pumped.

bigrigger's picture

The Ed and Treads excellent adventure continues

thepullmanator's picture

Fuck comdey central i got eroids.....i love this website this post turned my day around lmao!!!

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. Asshat.

Tread has left a quite abit out of the story. Let me fill in the gaps for ya'll.

So I'm runnin this Whorehouse/Crackhouse under the cover of a girl scout cookie supply outlet, and in walks this Hairy bastard looking Guido with slicked back greasy hair and 24 inch guns. Of course the legs were tiny but hidden by a faded pair of MC hammer pants. (We all know Tread won't work legs.)

He comes up to me, Toothpick in mouth, (I thought he was a gay version of Andrew Dice Clay on the Juice at first) and asks me how to start a girl scout troop. I have no idea of course but I make something up to get him out of my office due to the extreme flatulance that this man was emitting which consequently smelled like a mixture of Vaseline and Donkey shit.

I'm an equal opportunity employer so of course I've hired a few homos. It was wierd though as soon as Lewis Treaman (His real name) showed up the homos gathered around and broke out the wine coolers, and I believe a few Zimas.
Tread was in heaven as James threw a romantic movie in (Broke Back mountain) as they all snuggled on a giant beanbag chair that Tread had stored in the back of his Mazda Miata.
I closed up shop and was about to go home until I saw tread losing his temper and beating down one of my straight employees with a penis pump that he has stashed in the back pocket of his MC Hammer pants.
I told Tread that he had to leave and he gets all Anavar raging on my ass and breaks my Brokeback mountain collection (Yeah, I guess I'll admit to that, even the 8 track version. Sorry. Admittedly I do have a few issues)

That's the way it went down. I'm sorry that you all had to hear the whole story.

Now to Tread:

I'm still pissed about you bustin up my Brokeback collection.
Come clean cracker, I saw you stash the Blu Ray version in your MC Hammer pants along with a pack of thin mints and a 6 pack of Bartles and James.
Speaking of James... from the party, he told me about the ride home that you gave him and that sure as hell didn't end in "No Homo"

All my Love, No homo
ED

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. Thanks for your support, but I think that message must have been meant for Cleyon. We all know what happened, and I have four gay employees who took part in what I guess you like to call "HAMMERTIME!".

You can't touch this.

Engineereddisaster's picture
Engineereddisaster's picture

I know you know it. I just thought I'd post it. It never gets old. Not that there is anything wrong with getting old.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Of course not.

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

My hero... lol.. told you once i thought you were the funniest man in america... fuck me brother i just rang an ambulance i cant breath from laughing and rollin around on the floor here.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks brother. I just sent you a free extra small buttplug in the mail. I call it "The Cleyon"

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. You see brother, that's the problem with breaking anonymity. I know EVERYTHING about you.

Engineereddisaster's picture

I'm just not one of those guys that finds happiness from another mans 'Shortcomings'.

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

"MANTOY FREE"... NOoooooo Wayyyyy.... this is ED we are talkin bout! i heard he was the inventor of the mains powered butt plug lmaooooo..

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

Lmao!..ok i,ll run with the pack on this one... just hope we have enough time to drag him back to the delights of the moist ladies.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Mega Sausages...
Bro, I think you spelled Vienna wrong. lol

Engineereddisaster's picture

Where I come from...Those are still considered to be small veinnas.

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

I was giving my boy a wipe over with some fancy moisturiser i found in the bathroom this morning,not being vain i kept catching glimpses in the mirror of the proud beast...if it wasnt my own i could easily turn homo lmfao!