I am at a crossroads of sorts, and hoping yall can help me decide which path to take. This intro will be lengthy, so you can get an idea of why this easy choice isnt so easy. Last October I had a nerve injury and lost use of my left arm temporarily, this nerve damage left me with severe atrophy of my left triceps and pec. My left delt and lat have also lost some size, but from disuse not neuro factors. Only now, 10 months later Im starting to see some signs of life returning. Both muscles are getting stronger, but hypertrophy will take a long time and the size may never fully return. Now part of nerve healing is energy, calories, so ive been at maintenance since January, literally 240-244 this whole year. Problem is, I have definitely lost muscle, so if weights the same, we all know that means technically I got fatter. In-body scan varies day to day 18-22% BF. So this whole time ive been afraid to diet down, because priority is the use of my arm.
Now that functionality is back and ive been seeing improvements Im going to hop back on cycle. But where im stuck is cut or build? At ~20% bf im too fat, I dont like it. But if I decide to diet down, Im taking away resources from the nerves, and the atrophied muscles that are just now beginning to show improvement after months of rehab. If I decide to bulk, it gives those atrophied muscles a real chance to get back some of their lost size and strength, but we all know fat comes with muscle.

I am leaning towards bulking. I know how to diet down. So as long as I keep the surplus moderate and the food clean, I shouldnt get too fat. And I can strip it off later. Im almost 47yo and am kinda feeling the time crunch. No telling how many more chances Ill have to go beast mode on a blast. If I cut, im basically stopping all progress made on the nerves and affected muscles. They may maintain, but they probably wont improve, basically accepting that my left side will forever be smaller than the right.

I just had labs done, and all health markers are good (except goddamn hematocrit, but I have a plan for that, and doc is working with me). Kidneys, liver, lipids, BP all in line. I did the bodybuilders panel from HelloGoodLabs. Still waiting on test, free t, e2 and igf, but all the basics check out.

"Why is this in the "steroid cycles" forum?" I am considering NPP, and maybe low dose dbol (after some insight from a member here) alongside my test base for bulking. Just classic mass stack. If, big "IF", I decide to cut, that parapharma cut stack with var is intriguing to me. Either way, HGH has already been started and will be run for the duration. Ive also considered just test and tren, not at crazy doses, for a sort of recomp attempt, only thing being I always respond best to choosing a team, diet or grow.

I know its alot, its a unique situation. So I hope some of you veterans will give me honest thoughts. My thought is a good 16 week mass phase, monitor if the recovering muscles respond, then we get lean.