Getting over ex's
I just want to know people's advice on dealing with ex's? I was with mine for five years had a house and a few dogs and the whole bit. Thought we would be together forever but I got nervous I mean hell I'm young I was feeling old with her around I wanted to go out and enjoy life and travel. Long story short she lost her job had zero motivation and at the time I should have helped her out the most I lost my cool and split. That was a year ago and we tried and tried to fix it. Shit she still calls me over I go spend the night,it goes good for a few weeks then bam she'll bring up the bast and it's back to ground zero she goes nuts and texts me all this crazy rude shit. I have no problem meeting girls but I lose interest in no time. All my friends are engaged and I'm the lone wolf. Working out has helped me out more then anything. Sorry to rant but I know most have gone threw this its like quitting a drug or an addiction and we all have ways of getting over it.
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The best way to get over a girl, is to get under a new one!....
I know it's a lot more in depth than that , but the quicker you get yourself out there the easier it will get. I wouldnt jump into another relationship any time soon but get out there and enjoy some variety!
You now know way more about what you do and do not want from a partner/relationship and what you will or will not put up with.
Like someone below said, if you meet a new lady you are interested in, put all the cards on the table from the get go, present yourself as a whole, take it or leave it, ya know what I'm saying. Don't change for anyone but yourself.
breakingfaceMy advice to you is to put restriction on communications with your ex.
The creature comforts of "having someone" and the tendency to glorify the past bring people back to their exes every time. There's always a brief honeymoon phase where you are both just happy to have your immediate needs met. Once they are met the honeymoon phase is up, and all those old issues come back.
I would also suggest dating immediately. The more options you see in a new direction the less you'll focus on your past.
I agree with this 100% the only way i got over mine is disapearing and putting in my head they had passed away...and i make them believe that i had passed as well. Everytime i broke it off with one i changed drastically and maybe it wasn't me but something went wrong with who i was when i dated them. Im not saying to do this in your case im just saying thats the only way i ever got over mine...there is no right or wrong way juSt KEEPMOVINGFOWARD
Thanks bro! I have started daiting it's working out great! I just need to leave the past in the past.
Thanks everyone for the advice I really appreciate it. I'd be the first one to admit I have made mistakes in that relationship all I can really do is learn from it and not do it again in the future. I know I have a lot to work on and drinking it away was never an option I come from a long line of alcoholics and I plan on breaking that cycle I haven't had a drink since New Years. With her I feel like it was when I quit smoking every time I took a drag I went back where I started. Every time I see her it all starts over. I just need to let it go. She'll always be someone I think of and care about honestly I wish the best for her. And nittis right she deserves someone better. It's time to work on me so when a woman comes around that is what I'm looking for I'm ready. Thanks again!
I went through a similar thing, house dogs, white picket fence... the thing is, if you have it in you to get sick of her shit once youll have it in you again. Sounds like you guys werent compatible. They shouldnt make you feel old. Its wasnt your fault. There is nothing more unattractive than someone that mopes around and cant show some god damn motivation after a fall. Dont pay attention to where your friends are at in life. Im considered "behind" too but ALL of my married w kids friends are where theyre at bc they accidentally got a girl pregnant, got married bc they didnt know anything else or didnt want to start over, or just got lazy and settled on someone that didnt piss them off... all the time. HOLD OUT FOR BETTER BRO. And stop hanging out with that lady, itll make it drag on and its confusing to both parties. Even if there is forgiveness for you two, there is NEVER FORGET. Itll always be a stain on your relationship and it isnt worth reviving. After my divorce i dated a diff girl every week for like two years, sometimes giving up on dating alltogether. But i held out and found a great one bro. They are out there. HERES A TIP, if you like them, tell them right away everything thats wrong with you or that might piss them off (i drink, i smoke, i do steroids, i fantasize about 69ing EngineeredDisaster when im ready to "finish" during sex) but itll save you a ton of trouble later and it gets everything out in front.
A word of caution- I sent my ex wife on a date with Engineered Disaster and gave him $100 and a camera to commemorate the evening... he later mailed me pics of something that looked like the "gluttony" scene from the movie Seven. Not cool guy... not cool.
Oh shit. That date brings up some memories.
AnonIm sorry my friend. Im not around much today but I'll try and catch up with you later or Friday
AnonBe honest.. Discuss the past with her and keep your cool no matter what!! Let it all out bro! If you guys fix this its probably fair to say it will be forever!! And if thats the case she deserves the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. If she cant handle the truth and is unable to forgive you then the bottom line is.. Its over.
She deserves to be pissed at you man what u did was disgraceful! If my girl lost her job and was depressed id work double shifts and support her til she found her own feet again!
Dont lead her on man if ur turnin up for booty calls she obviously loves u still..... Answer every question she asks honestly! Dont be pathetic and tell her what u think she wants to hear she needs to hear the truth! If it makes her stop loving you then she'll also stop hurting very quickly ;) your a man your feelings are fkn irrelevant! You left her to fend for herself and she needs a real man. The truth hurts but it also heals!
Until you are truly comfortable being by yourself, you'll keep going back.... you'll keep meeting girls you lose interest in.. fix yourself. let it go.. the past is just that, the past. As for dealing with an ex, if it isn't necessary (ie you have children) what's the point?
focus on what's best for you and meeting your goals. .. if a relationship is what you want I suggest you put down on paper the things you want/expect from it and the kind of person you want to be with. You might be surprised at what you find .. and if that doesn't work .. Send them on dates with ED
Lol, I can promise that there are no happy endings when one goes on an "Ed date".
I agree, I had to fix myself before I could fix my broken relationship with my ex-wife. We spent a couple years apart, with the occasional fling. When I did that, things just started to fall into place for me. Now we are back together, trying it for the second time. It isn't perfect, we still bring up shit that bothers us from our past, but at least we don't have to raise our voices when doing so. When I get stressed by her I think of our son and how happy he is now that we are together again, he really enjoys hanging out as a family.
Anona relationship will act like a "ship" and sink, if someone can't get over the past. none of us are perfect, we fuck up - but what is dwelling on that going to fix? I agree that you both need to discuss it and come to terms, but after that you BOTH need to make the decision of whether or not you're going to continue. If not, go your separate ways and move on. How I dealt with all my ex's? I paid ED to take them on dates, and well, now they're all lesbians.
Thanks muta it means a lot you stopping by with how busy you are.
Anonin all seriousness, I wish you the best bro. I heard about it from one of my boys today (him and his wife) if the past can't be left in the "past" there will be no future.
Whatever bro. Now they are all dead.
Anoncan't be putting that out in public bro, gonna ruin my nice guy rep! You told me they were all hog-tied in your basement?
No, I told you that that a ho was hog tied in my basement and that your ex's are all now dead, you see this is your problem, you just don't listen. That's the same complaint that your ex's had before I relieved them.
AnonWhat is it with you two! lol
AnonBro, I feel for you and I have been there. I went to many of people asking the same questions hoping for some answer and never found it. Ive seen grown men reduced to tears because of it. All I can suggest is try as hard as you can to keep your head clear. You cant drown it in alcohol because I have tried that too. Do something alone and by yourself. How much college do you have? something that I found to help is going back and taking at least one class. Sociology is a good one, you may even like philosophy. If for some reason you don't have anyone in real life to talk to, FR me
I know what you are going through and hope you and her both recover.
I have to add this damn disclaimer: "No Homo"