Dear Assholes
Dear Assholes at the Yoplait yogurt company,
I just want to thank you for the shitty design of your yogurt cups. I eat your Greek Yogurt nearly every day and every damn time I open up a container, it blows shit all over my shirt.
I truly believe that you have an engineer on your staff that designed the yogurt cups to do this. The joke is too perfect and it happens every damn time that I pull the lid off of one of your cups. It doesn't matter the size, it always happens. For this I give your engineer kudos, however it does piss me off because I never think about it and it happens every damn time.
You people are assholes. I know that you are aware of this because I have sent numerous letters.
Now I will walk around the rest of the day looking like a dumbass with yogurt all over my black shirt.
Thank you for this. I'm sure I will forget tomorrow and blow shit all over my shirt again.
All my love, no homo
Ed.
To the mods: I'm sorry if I broke a rule by mentioning a yogurt source's name.
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AnonYoplait is typically a womans yogurt , so they design the bottle for their hands. Next time you are ready to strangle candy or brandi just refrain for two second and " Say hey girld Ive got somethin real kinky in mind, would you just open these for me ?"
Come on bro, the Greek yogurt comes in a big ass tub. I think it even has no homo imprinted on the bottom. You are thinking about the dainty regular yogurt with the pink breast cancer awareness tops. Which also spray shit on you when you open them.
AnonI buy the big container of stonyfield. It hasnt ejaculated at me yet. Perhaps Im not stimulating the container enough before I open it though . Besides its been known for many years that yoplaits "no homo" code is really " no homo left behind " you know they way "they" are always speaking in secret code and shit.
Now Im nervous about you, I bet you didnt even know yoplait puts the secret "turn you gay" ingredient in to all their yogurts. How much of that stuff do you consume anyway ?
Shit you are right! It does say no homo left behind!
I haven't "turned gay" yet, but I do feel a strage attraction to small farm animals. Is that normal?
AnonBAAAAAAh MMM BAAAAAAAAHHHH.
Been there my friend, That yoplait had me romancing three chickens two goats and a big sow each week. Withdrawls are going to be tough, but it might be time to switch brands before its too late and you switch teams.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Einstein
funny, I just had the same problem with chobani (oh shit, source drop). twice last week it blew a gasket all over my meals for the day...this led me to blow a gasket. yogurt covered tupperware pisses me off.
speaking of assholes....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32iCWzpDpKs
pilldriverYeah, this a valid post on a steroid forum. very useful dumbass.
Hey monster666 is back. That didnt take long. Of course a post titled "Dear Assholes" would draw you out.
think someone has a crush on ed ;) this is expected flirting technique from a little girl tho. the section you are in is called" off topic" I suggest if you don't wanna read stupid, crazy shit unrelated to aas, diet, working out, ect stay the fk outta here! this has been a public service announcement.
AnonYou can always shake it up real good and stick a straw thru it and suck.
I just got a visual of Ed sucking the hell out of his yogurt and then opening his mouth to pour ganola in.... IDK why that was disturbing but with ED most things are..
I don't eat granola I substitute the granola with raw hamburger. Visualize that.
AnonWait... he eats granola? Since when?
ED will eat anything that doesn't eat him first.. and from what he's told me.. he's even had a few people try.. but he was faster with the weed eater...
Human has a horrible bland aftertaste. Similar to that of Antelope.
i hate that dannon changes there package from bowls to teeny tiny deep ass cups. now when i go to stir the shit i get that stuff all over the place. i think they thought this shit up on purpose.
I just saw that last night.. OMG that's crazy and it sucks.. I love the big cups.. that what I was just telling ed yesterday and I be damn if they didn't change them. bastards..
hmmmm you eat their yoghurt everyday...it blows shit on you everyday , every time you eat it, everyday, each and every day, dont even skip a day.....
yes of course they're assholes!!
What about a yogurt maker and tuperware
RustyhookerDeer assholes? Bwuhahaha! It's just you Ed. Even your yogurt cant handle your charm without dropping the "presidential fluids".
I know, I should be flattered.
FAGE is the best yogurt
waltrFAGE puts a nice little wax paper covering over the yogurt to prevent the splattering during opening too.
;P
It is most definitely the superior yogurt.
Hey now, lets not get ugly. The word homosexual is a little more politically correct.
Oh shit, sorry. I read that wrong.
just a thought.. have you tried a different brand of yogurt ?
on a side note.. whats up with the "black shirt" ?
Yes, I've tried different brands. My wife only buys Yoplait though.
As far as the black shirt goes.. that's just part of the Taco bell uniform. If I ever make manager it I will get a tan shirt.
sent you a FR ...
really ?. didnt know that about the shirt. I'd actually eat that stuff.. if
the put more in the tacos.. you pop them open and there's like nothing
in them.. :(.. and I love mexican..
I only run the sour cream gun so I can only control that aspect of the Taco. Sometimes If I'm hungry, I'll eat some of the meat in a taco before I pump sour cream into it and then pump in replacement sour cream. Nobody ever knows.
ha, !!!... my brother used to work for Carvel...( soft serve ice cream store.) ..he would put
his head underneath the ice cream nozzle and turn it on.. funny as hell.. we ripped
that place off blind.. we would go in there with shopping bags and walk out with 20 cakes
and ice cream cookies and stuff.
Awesome. Maybe I'll apply there after I get my GED in October. I love ice cream.
Now by yogurt, do you really mean yoked juice? And by container, do you really mean my ding dong? Because I don't know how I feel about you talking about my junk out in the open.
NO SOURCE TALK IN OPEN FORUMS!!!!
Damn this rules. My heart can't be restrained forever.
I stick to the generic greek yogurt. You get the same shirt stain at have the price.
This made me laugh my ass off!!! Chobani ftw!!!
Very good. I do like me some chobani.
you know how i know your on tren? you get mad at yogurt :-p
This is no shit. I found myself in the bathroom at work with my shirt pulled off trying to scrub that shit out yelling "ill kill you bitches at yoplait!"
I kind of felt bad for the dude taking a shit in one of the stalls. He didnt make a peep.
Lmao!
Anonread the rules, n0000b!! LOL!
Hi friend, can you tell me how I can get more karma? Oh and where to get some Anavar?
I'm new to the site but not new to the game. I've ran a million cycles I'm only 18 though. So technically I'm not a noob.
That's why you need to switch to Dannon OIKOS yogurt... That shit is GTG man.. it's fire and the packaging is so tight! Bro it's the only way to do yogurt!! The cups are bigger and deeper... (Yes I was describing a yogurt cup)....
I don't know bro. I sometimes wonder if they package that shit in Greek packaging but only give plain yogurt. I sent that shit off to beaker and it only showed 15% Greek yogurt. I called dannon out on on it And they said that they have an fda approved lab that they are running it through. They claim Gmp status but I'm not seeing that shit.
Loool happens all the time!
X2 The Director of Marketing at Yoplait is the Antichrist. I hope your fat and your son gets Aids.
Best regards,
Cj
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... no rules broke unless yoplaits selling a bit of juice on the side around here bro lol
yoplaitgenics
yoplaitpharma
bigyoplaits
NAH!... just checked bro... no breach here
Thanks bro. I didn't want to get banned.