Hey dudes! We have read this in some internet site and it´s so fucking hilarious we thought you all would like to read it!

I drink almond milk ALL THE TIME!

Then I go gardening and flick my labia.

Drink milk. Fuck 2%.. Fuck whole milk. . Buy a cow, suck directly from the teet, don't worry about bacteria or protein content. If anyone questions your methods, punch them in the cunt and continue what you were doing. When your cow runs out of milk, light it on fire, wait until the fire stops and eat what remains. Use the bones to make a cool looking weapon like a fucking klingon would use, and then go to the gym. Use the weapon to slice in half whoever is at the squat rack, then throw your hands up in the air and perform an 18 second war cry.. . no more than 18 seconds. Then squat until your nose bleeds.

On the way home, stop at a store that sells almonds. Buy all of the almonds they sell and take them home to put in a pile. Scream at the fucking pile until it turns into meat. Eat that meat. Then go to bed and do the same thing tomorrow.

In about 6 weeks, you will be pretty much indestructible.

I shouldn't be allowed to have coffee in the morning. When I drink it and read stupid threads, I do this.

DAMM IT!!