Update - just had PET scan done yesterday. Good news is nothing is popping up besides my colon and near that area. “Heterogeneous hypermetabolism along the sigmoid colon“ . I have blood tests tomorrow and I’ll be put on the short notice cancellation list for surgery. I have a colonoscopy and cystoscope scheduled at the end of this month but I’m hoping i get squeezed in for surgery before then. It’s been pretty damn frustrating bc i still don’t have a definitive answer. I’m still pissing and shitting blood. Blood in the stool is minimal but the blood in the piss is like holy fuck. Straight fuckin blood. Looks like a pool of blood surrounded by blood splatter almost every time I piss.

Here are some of my take aways from this experience so far. Although it’s possible I can die I seriously doubt i will but I realized really quickly how important it is to have everything squared away when it comes to life insurance and anything you own. I have an appt with a lawyer tomorrow to get that shit squared away. The reality of life is it can end at any given moment and I’ve seen Death bring out the worst in greedy, spiteful, and jealous people. I need everything written in stone to ensure the right people get what they need.

Won’t go into much detail with this one but it made me realize if ima die I don’t want to be in the relationship I’m in.

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All this shit started early December. Ended up getting a UTI from anal. Starting having bad pain while pissing and started pissing blood. Got a round of antibiotics but still continued pissing blood. Ended up going back to ER early January for another round of antibiotics. Couple days after I finished the antibiotics I was still pissing blood on and off. Sometimes it was straight blood. Some times I’d piss normal then blood would come out afterwards.

I went to the ER last night bc at this point it’s like wtf. Once again they take bloods and collect urine samples. Finally they said maybe you have a fistula bc I have a history of diverticulitis. So they let me know ima get a ct scan. Man I did not know what kind ct scan I was gonna get lmao. These fuckers shoved a tube up my ass followed by a ballon to hold that shit in place. This guy literally told me right before he started “let us know when you can’t take it anymore”. What a fuckin thing to hear before getting something shoved up you ass lmao!! Fun stuff.. fun stuff..

At this point I had been in the ER for 8-9hrs and now I’m just waiting for CT scan results and the doc to let me know what’s up. Doc finally walks in and gets to the point. She said we have bad news you have what appears to be a 6cm tumor and the walls of your colon near there are thick.. we believe you have colon cancer. You need to make follow up appts immediately. Blah blah blah. At this point I’m tryna get the fuck outta there.

Get to my car and sit there for about 15min then my brain kicks back in and I realize this is actually happening. It’s like fuck how do I tell the wifey. Got home and prefaced it with ok none of this is 100% but this is what they are telling me it could be. Let her know I love her very much and everything will be ok. Let her know I’d take the day off to make all follow up appt. Laid with her for about 45min. At this point it’s 10:30 and I know if I don’t get a work out in ima be up all night overthinking. So I hit the back yard and fuckin killed it! Did pyramid sets til I couldn’t lift a fuckin weight. Shit hit the spot.

Couple of fears I have is that it has spread enough to were I’ll need a shit bag for life or spread to the point I’m fucked. Not so much as I’ll be fucked but my children and wifey. The living suffer, the dead are simply dead. I don’t want them to experience this kind of pain.

Overall I’m annoyed as fuck as I have just upped my test, tren, and GH. Since I’m possibly fuckin with cancer I need to drop the GH. As far as Test and Tren I’d like to continue that till surgery. I’m still able to eat and train so why not make gains. I have an appt. Next Friday and who knows when everything else will go down. Then who knows what recovery is gonna be like.

Besides the wifey no one else know so it feels good to let it out. Appreciate anyone taking the time to listen!