Engineereddisaster's picture
Engineereddisaster
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+ 3 Living Hard Dying Hard

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Holy shit kids, I'm getting old and it really sucks balls as reality starts to hit. I've lived good but I've lived hard. A lot of my friends have lived good and lived hard.
Recently I've lost a couple of friends who at one time seemed immortal but now are dead. Last night I lost another friend who lived too damn hard. Got a call this morning from his sister telling me about his death. I sit back and reflect and it wasn't long ago that I sat in awe about how much of a badass he was.
But he lived hard and it caught up to him and he's dead and now the world is missing a pretty damn good person.
I think we...especially this juice crowd have lived and are living pretty damn hard. I'm telling you...This shit comes with a price if you don't play smart.
I have lost 4 really good friends in the past year and a half who at one time reached physical immortality but fell from it much much quicker than it took to get there.
About a year and a half ago, I found myself at a peak. Life couldn't get any better with money, family, work, etc and yet I found myself in a hotel room living a 3 day vodka Vicodin binge wondering why the hell Im so damn lonely.
I had a close friend, someone who I respect more than anyone come to the room and helped me get my shit together. He understood everything. Not long after..I get a call from his wife telling me he is dead.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, and I known I'm doing a lot of rambling, but the point I'm trying to make is that we all, including me, need to take some time and check ourselves especially in this world of juice.
How many of us are pinning mass amounts of shit that's meant for livestock? Taking shit thats toxic just so we can have a little intensity at our workout, running a solid stream of oils into our body that was probably brewed by some dirty ass 21 year old tweaker?
Moderation kids. Moderation in all things. I am seeing too many people die who learned about moderation way too late in life. Guys who think they can run everything topped with a kilo of coke...It's some sad shit to see someone kicking ass one day and dead five years down the road.
At any rate, sorry I'm a buzz kill. I just hate losing friends and I'd hate to lose some of my friends here.

Drop-set's picture

Everyone I've known that died young was from alcohol or pills, or a combination of the two. Gear use (not abuse) isn't even in the same league.

bestiller's picture

Sorry for your loss....in the lottery of life who lives and who dies ultimately isnt up to us...though some put alot more skin in the game with every roll of the dice compared to others.....great post...God Bless

Engineereddisaster's picture

a bitch it is bro.

fusebox's picture

Life is fragile. It seems like it takes a lifetime to realize it. Most of the time we dont figure it out til it's too late. Sorry for your loss

Engineereddisaster's picture

amen bro

BoxDog209's picture

Well put! 30 years as a lion or 70 years as a sheep. Goal is to be as healthy inside as you look outside usually not the case.

Engineereddisaster's picture

The lion and the Lamb have nearly identical life spans. The difference is who plays it smart and who doesn't.

BoxDog209's picture

I agree brotha. I know a guy who hasn't taken over a month off gear since he was 18 he's in his mid late 40s. Has a irregular heart beat has to go get his heart stopped started every couple months. Heart was super enlarged luckily got it down with several blood pressure meds. I've got kids and I'll run more of a trt dose myself 300mgs test alt sust/test e/test cyp/ maybe run a little eq when I say little like 100-150mgs week. Run 2-3 iu hgh every other day. When I don't run test I'm jst tired and grumpy. Rip to your friends. True friends that give 2 fucks about you when your down are rare indeed.

Pale's picture

You are absolutely right brother and I am sorry for your loss. I think all of us after a certain age start facing life, loss and mortality with increasing frequency.

I know it hasn't taken me long at all to realize I don't need massive amounts of gear or outrageous cocktails of gear to look fantastic in my 40's. Cruise dose of test C along with a moderate dose of primo is perfect for me. No orals, no more goddamn tren, no EQ, deca, or anything.. I may still mess with SARM's and peptides tho.

Engineereddisaster's picture

yeah bro. It's nuts the stacks one can get caught up in all in the name of kicking ass. I've toned it down quite a bit myself.

BigThing's picture

Sorry for you loss. Like many of us I lost some friends and I've done some crazy shit myself. The way I look at it is you make a choice. Some people just can't live normal life. Life is very short and fragile but at least we know that we lived rather than suffocated trying to live by the rules. But I agree, moderation is needed. It is too easy to forget that when you feel immortal. I hope your friend rests in peace.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks for the nice words.

Gymjunkie01's picture

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.

— Pope Paul VI

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Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol bet the guy he told it to didn't have a kilo of coke under his seat. Lol

Gymjunkie01's picture

I guess the words of inspiration wasn't the best choice sorry

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Catalyst's picture

Sorry mate. Lost a few over the last couple of years as well. We're at that age now it seems.

Engineereddisaster's picture

No kidding. I thought that age was supposed to be 60+

Catalyst's picture

Last week I went to my old boss's funeral. That's the third time the black tie has been out already in 2016. 46 years old, competitive triathlete in his day. Live life to the full, we never know what's around the corner.

The Impastable's picture

Sorry for your loss Ed. We're all family here and we are all here for you.

No homo,

Pasta, descendant of Stheve of the Housth Sodom

Engineereddisaster's picture

Lol. Made me smile on a gloomy day. Smile
I think that's worth a get out of homo free card.

Darkhorse777's picture

Sorry to hear bro ..

Engineereddisaster's picture

Like sands through the hour glass. Thanks brother

MedDx's picture

Much respect to your post...condolences to your loss..

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bud.