posted Mon, 07/14/2014 - 06:34
7966
+ 3 Let's Talk about Girlfriends/Wives and Gear Usage
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I know this has been discussed, I know that some of you are open with your spouses/significant others.
But I'd really like to hear personal experiences of revealing it to your girl.
Was she suspecting it, was she surprised, did she dump you? etc
I am now going on 5 months with my new girl, and a part of me wants to tell her...I love her and want to be open & 100% honest, but a part of me is a little scared she won't see it. But I also wonder if it really matters. (just keep it to myself, in the long run I will probably have to tell her) I know the media paints a bad picture, so I'd have to break through some of the brain washing.
Would really like to hear what you guys have to say and I bet there will be a broad spectrum of responses.
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Most girls don't need to ask if I'm running shit or not lol... Most of them are gym girls anyways and know what goes on in the "lifestyle"
well I just met a girl about a month ago. Guess you can say she is my gf! I layed everything up front with her and told her this is who I am and what I do. I bb I do this and that. She was cool with it because I was honest and didn't hide it from her. Her only thing was be careful and don't hurt yourself doing it. She's a keeper!
I just rolled over one day and told her what I was gonna do, and im over 40, married with kids.....Plain and simple, there is consequences for every action, if your not willing to accept those consequences then dont do the actions. As with many of my bad choices in life I was willing so its not a big deal, they either will accept it or take half so think hard on what your willing to give up....
Stop caring what the female thinks, it is what it is.
says the single, or soon to be single guy.
It's an age thing an immature mentality. You and I have wives and homes etc etc etc
He'll get there, give him a few years... ;)
I've been through this twice, both times it worked out. Always better to be honest. I saw your update, glad it worked out and congrats bro
Thought it'd be cool to update this. Since we rarely get 2 year updates.
Before we decided to move in together, there was one last thing holding me back.
I didn't tell her about the AAS. So after visiting her family, I told her on the flight back home. She asked a bunch of questions and basically it came down to...if you're being safe then I support you.
The relief that came rushing in, that two years of my life isn't coming crashing down was great. It was all in my headed and it was a good affirmation.
We will be getting hitched late 2017. I feel a lot better being honest about everything with her, it's a nice feeling...the openness and I would recommend that for anyone. My previous GF told me, we'll as long as you never do it again and I never hear it again...we'll be okay. No questions allowed.
Now I don't recommend everyone come clean tomorrow. You need to assess if it's long term. I took a lot of the Bros advice here and waited for that.
I used proper terminology and not slang. I explained media perception. She's a smart cookie and understood it all.
The goal is to be able to have a kid in roughly 5 years. Which is why I run blood tests, PCT and very mild cycles.
Hope this helps someone else out there, but I feel once I opened that last window of myself...we went to another level, this is not necessarily only about AAS use and relationships, it's being completely open with your partner in all matters. Not for everyone, but man its a nice feeling
Congrats man!
mazel tov
Congratulations Big! You and I seem to be in the same boat! I absolutely agree with you that it's an amazing feeling.
Congratulations! Honesty really is the best policy. Something will come up somewhere down the line health wise and you will have to explain at that point you lied all these years. How many excuses can you come up with for a bruised glute??? I get a bruise now and my wife feels bad for me, so much better!!!
AnonCongrats my dude!! You have a smart woman who is OPEN to you being smart. People have this "idea" already branded into them about gear heads like us who want to be better than the average.
Well the girl at the time now my wife , knew in the first few weeks , she loved what she seen , the body , so I told her I put alot of time and $ into my training and here is what I do to keep it right , she seen my technique , you know the basics , alcohol , drawing needle switch tip , etc and seen I was about safety and a few months later she was doing glute shots for me , I couldnt imagion hiding it , if theres a true connection there shell look past it .and move forward .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_ancient_Rome
I don't know.... People are saying 5 months is nothing but I knew this was who I wanted to marry within the first 5 months. There's a threshold to where you have to tell her before you are anymore invested or at least feel her out and find out where she stands. Take for instance you have a kid she finds out you 2 split up...... That's a shitty thing to happen! So don't waist anymore time and find out where she stands. I didn't start until I was married for 22 years. She didn't like it at first mostly out of lack of knowledge. I had a solid foundation and an excellent track record for making sound decisions. So it didn't take her long to be ok with it. 24 years and counting!
I would start by saying....
Me " well babe,you know i take this workout thing seriously right?".
Her " yea, so."
Me " After high school, i dabbled in steroids a bit." Wait for a reaction..
Me " Let me explain the benefits ........"
Her " Isnt that like drugs?"
Me " Yea, but its given to patients with low t, its given to people around my age for overall health and with more testosterone I will improve sexually ect, think about it";)
Depending on her reaction on this...
If shes cool with it then game on!
If not then buy her shit, convince her more or break up with her. Its too early in the game for her to be this concerning and controlling. The key is to take your stuff responsibly and don't do anything stupid like hitting her..The main key I can tell you is you have to bring the "D" , sex must improve and i'm sure she will be fine with your decision. It took me a while before i convinced my wife, it took a quad infection before my wife was like "ok fucker ill help you out." Shes better at pinning than I am now, she gets mad if i don't let her pin me and i do it myself.
AnonWASTE OF STEROID MONEY -1
Lmfao! Water boarding,bribery or extortion works. ;) MMA Trainer Ed Clay Gets Waterboarded: http://youtu.be/823cXoWW9Gw
gcskater713On Millionaire Matchmaker (no homo of course) she says you'll know whether you're going to marry someone within the first 6 months of dating them. I think this answers your question ;)
Personally I think it depends on the kind of woman yr dating...does she lift too? does she even workout at all? how mature is she? is she capable of critical thinking? since I lift and have always lifted for me to date a guy that juices is no big deal...in fact sometimes I encourage it....but if she's not much into fitness particularly lifting she may just be all freaked out by how the media has portrayed and stereotyped steroids. There's a saying "be the change you wanna see in the world" well be the example to her of how steroids can have a positive effect when used safely and properly.
I'm married, and let me tell you... Menopause rage is way worse than roid rage.
HAHAHAHAHA!
She didnt like the idea first because some of his friends told her about a way older guy who died from a heart attack.. I told her i read all the info i could to control sides and she calmed down.. Now she pins me and loves the pumps.
In my country most drugs are legal for personal use at home, so there wouldnt be legal problems anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJL3FKMmhss
Not funny!
5 months, how old are you? I don't intend for that to sound as bitchy as it does but seriously 5 months is nothing serious. I think if the relationship is serious enough yo won't have to tell her, she'll figure it out and ask.
I was in a relationship for 3 years, we were talking marriage kids and sharing our lives together and so on, but fortunately things didn't work out and we went our separate ways, to find out latter from common friends, she was talking shit about me and why she couldn't live with me and so on, most of the things she said were false, but like if she felt she has to explain why we broke up. I kept my mouth shut, tried my best to be a gentleman. If I was using by that time, rest assured the entire continent, family, friends, my colleagues at work, would've known about it. The point here is, 5 month is a very short time, the less people know about it the better for many reasons, some stuff are better kept confidential.
Now .. God blessed me with a wonderful girl, we got married 15 years ago, she is my sun and moon and I can't be any happier. 10 years ago I opened the steroid subject with her, and I was hinting that I want to try it, nothing hard core but you know .. a start up kit and so .. she told me she has some concerns regarding fertility and how it might affect our ability to have kids '' Remember this was like 10-12 years ago, very limited info on the internet'', and that she'd rather if we wait till we had our last kid. Out of respect to her, I waited, and our last kid is turning 2 in few days, and I just ordered my third cycle
Actually after I ran my second cycle. she liked the effect, now the third cycle is fully paid by my loving wife as a gift 
The point is, if you are not sharing your life with her, no need for her to know. If she is the one, then by all means, you might be even surprised by the amount of support you will get from them.
All the best,
X2. 5 months is nothing, a year is nothing, I really don't even know when the time is right. Cause if you break up this is what could happen and it would really ruin you rep of everyone around town heard you were using steroids.
Wait until you get to know her better. Me and my girl started using at the same time so I haven't had to deal with an issue like this and I'm grateful. You could always pull a " I'm thinking about using Steroids" and see how she reacts lol just an idea.
big k play it cool and be yourself i hope you find what you want but dont force anything trying to hard to please someone will backfire. good luck brother
AnonWhat you say can and will be used against you in every argument and/or conversation for the rest of time forever. 5 months!?!?? 5 months!!! You don't even know this girl yet. You don't even know if you are sexually compatible in the long-term yet. Why you going to give her power like that over you? That 100% open and honest bit only becomes viable when you're committed to the point of building your lives together 5 months isn't it. You live together? No I would imagine since you're still just getting to know each other. You said you loved her first if I read correctly. Does she bring up living together in conversation… or do you? Planning your futures together? If not then you need to take a deep breathe & a step back brotha because she isn't in as deep as you. If SHE brings up these serious commitment type topics on a regular basis then maybe I'm off base & I wish the best for ya but I'm going to assume because of the tone of your post (guilt and fear) it's you pushing it which is a very weak frame to enter a serious relationship in. You don't know if this girl is special or not it's been 5 months. Handing her your balls from day one - not good. It's your choice to use or not use AAS she shouldn't even be factoring into the equation there should be no guilt. I'm not trying to be a dick just being real what is happening now is setting the frame for your entire relationship.
Example. I dated a girl for nearly two years before we lived together. Perfect relationship - literally good as it gets everything I'd want. Thought she was the "one" too. Pics are in wifeyday section actually. After living with her for 4 months I realized I had no fucking idea who she even was and mind you we dated for almost 2 years prior to that. Until you've lived with someone for an extended period of time you don't know them flat out. Take a breather! IronBlonde said it perfectly below. You need to go through some things with this girl, you don't know her! You obviously have completely fallen but has she? Better believe if you tell her your life story secrets and all then you break up everyone she knows will now know it all too... if she's one of the vindictive ones anyways which many end up being. Like my ex was for no reason after the fact. Keep it to yourself.
Tryptamine, I appreciate the tough love brotha! 5 months, no way we are going to talk about living together. Not yet, it fucked up my last relationship when I jumped in too quick. I guess I'm still a young pup learning the ropes, I'm 29, and had a few serious relationships, but I don't think I'm necessarily "good" at it. Perhaps it's just some Catholic guilt I was raised with to just be honest about everything and don't keep things to yourself. It's almost like a strange sense of confession.
I think she has fallen pretty deep as well to be honest, she has brought up several topics when she was poking and prodding for information. My thoughts on family, children, marriage, etc etc. I am going to keep it to myself and whether some storms, I don't want to move in with her, and I know she doesn't either. Her roommates were gone for 3 weeks so we psuedo-lived together since I stayed at her place almost the whole 3 weeks. It was a taste, but I think that's more of a vacation...so perhaps not a good barometer. But it went really well.
Everyone is right though, at this point I'm still getting to know her, and have to focus on that before I reveal something that gives her a lot of power. I am also going to breath inhale.......exhale* and try to just enjoy how things are going without getting over my head.
Thanks again, seems as though I need to just focus on her and I and how we work. Long term sexual compatibility is really important, with my last girl...it completely dropped off. So I don't know if it's a compatibility issue or if it's perhaps ME. I get so wrapped up, maybe I become boring and predictable.
I guess this is much bigger than "should I tell her about aas"
Can't thank everyone enough...I am going to just keep getting to know her and hold a few cards to my chest for now still.
AnonAhhh good ol' religious dogma…. Nothing like brainwashing children from a young age to hate themselves! You owe no one an explanation for anything it's your life you call the shots I know society has taught us otherwise but f*ck that. Sounds like you are both into it. I'm much younger than you man I just realized that we've been socially conditioned to think things are supposed to be a way that they are not pretty young then studied it and experimented. Both genders but I blame men much more. I'm not going say numbers and look like an asshole but when you've had a good amount of experience, a number you can really only get from going out to clubs a lot, you start to realize a lot of them have unique qualities that you once would have viewed as angelic... but yeah I won't lie the majority not to much. I think that goes for both genders though. Point is it's not too terribly uncommon, experiencing larger numbers just increases the odds of finding more quality. Things I thought made previous women I've known/dated so "other" really weren't that special lol.
This is the reason I only do casual dating. I can't tolerate that shit drive is too high. If you have options, you won't care if one gets all emotional or backs off of the sex for whatever reason.
I'm think I'm going to do a little write up on social conditioning most guys our age has massive misconceptions and it isn't their fault either our society breeds it….
7 years ago my girlfriend found out that I used gear, & it was not exactly pleasant either. Our fights at that time roid rage was thrown in my face. I stopped using gear. Well 2 years ago I just stopped producing natural test and to say the least I was a pill. Once the Dr's found out what was wrong put me on TRT my now wife was very open and interested in aas herself. Expect the worst & hope for the best my wife whom I have been with nearly 10 years now went from despising aas to running some herself.
my woman is pushing me to start testosterone asap lol. because my sex drive is low and im busy as fuck. she wants me to fuck her everytime we are together. even though my t levels are within normal i feel they have dropped some over past few years or maybe its because we have been together for 7 years and about to be married and i just dont really care about sex i dont know lol im rambling. i rather lift than fuck any day hahhahha is that weird ?
AnonIf you do be prepared for this "Yeah, but you use steroids"
My wife knows and is ok with it cause she knows im being as safe as possible. My girlfriend on the other hand will not understand
AnonComing from a woman's perspective.... Are you really in love with her (like starting a future together) or in the type of "love" in the first year of a relationship? In either scenario, I would wait it out a bit before disclosing it. Weather a few storms together to see if she will stand beside you or will run for the hills when things get bad. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and the last thing you want is to disclose this to her only to have her throw it back in your face a few weeks/months later, or have it become the fall back excuse in arguments.. "Yeah, but..but... You're on STEROIDS!" Or "OMG the steroids must be making you so angry."
When you really feel that the time is right, sit her down and tell her. Explain to her how the
media trumps up all of this bs about shrinking junk and roid rage- and how you've been on and she hasn't been able to tell. Does she train? Show her pics of female pros (bikini, figure, etc) and male pros (physique) to emphasize how different types of gear are used to different degrees by different body types to achieve different goals. And if she enjoys your body and how you look, she probably won't want you to stop. The first boyfriend who told me, all I wanted to do was see the vials- then jab a needle in his ass.
Good luck!
Thank you IronBlonde for your response. It's nice to get a woman's perspective on this as well.. Honestly it's 5 months, but I'm looking towards the future with her. I want to see if a few "kinks" work themselves out, or if I simply have to talk with her more about it that are completely unrelated to this.
I am one of the calmest people I know, so whether I'm on gear or not, I never show anger, so I'm not worried about the "roid rage" argument, she's been angry I never have...except maybe once showing I got upset, when my sex initiation attempts were awkwardly declined. ( I let it go, since she didn't tell me that her back didn't get better yet... [I hurt her back having too rough sex :-/] )
She lifts some weights, but she's more of the outdoorsy type. She kayaks with me, rock climbs, and is a really good tennis player. I think I am going to wait a little bit, I have some other things I want to work out with her before I reveal something deeper like that.
This is some great advice. I mean 5 months is better then 3 months of dating but still, I don't think I would tell her quite yet. But, typically by the 5 month point most people have shown there true colors. But still the last thing you want to happen is you guys breakup and she has dirt in you.
If you haven't pissed her off yet I would do someting to piss her off and see how she reacts. I always test girls to gauge there reaction. I'll say something or do something to see how they handle it. A good girl wil handle it one way, and a spiteful crazy bitch will handle it a different way then you knkw who you're dealing with. This always works great and I end up weeding out the crazy ones early. But like I said after 5 months you should know how she is, that is unless you're yet to make her mad.
good advise irongame. i my experience most every woman is a spiteful crazy bitch if you piss them off enough lol. i did something similar to what you described above with my current wife to be. about six months into the relationship all was well and i decided to see what would happen if i really crossed the line or did something weird. i told her that a had a really odd sexual fantasy and that i was a little scared to ask her about it. she was really curious and wanted me to open up ( good sign) so i dropped the most fucked up thing i could think of at the time on her and waited for the response. i told her my biggest fantasy was to have a camera set up behind me but focused on her bent over naked in doggy position and i would throw lunch meats like salami and bologna at her ass like frisbees and call her mean names like whore,slut,bitch and try to get some meat to stick to her ass. when i was satisfied i would jerk one off onto her meat covered ass and maybe make her eat a cum covered piece of bologna. she said wow! thats fucked up but if that would make you happy i would do it. so in my head i said we have a KEEPER!!! i told her the next day i was just messing with her and that i wanted to test her reaction to some weirdness. lol we been together 7 years now
AnonIf that story is true… you sir are a badass
god damn i love my woman i am currently working out of town and cant wait to get home to her and my hound doggy beagle ole willie boy! i am so lucky to found the freaky girl who is pretty and will do just about anything for me. she actually just saved my ass by mailing me my medication i forgot when i left town. she went out of her way to go to my pharmacy and mail overnight my thyroid medication ( for graves disease) fucks you up if you miss the medication. love is good and when its all said and done i truely believe happiness comes from surrounding yourself with good people and loved ones and enjoying things together.
it is true my man lol i actually talked to her today about it she still kind of thinks that i really want it i think it would be funny as fuck but was just trolling her when i made the shit up hahahahah
HOLY SHIT. Thats alot different then i would have done lol. but alright hahaah thats crazy.
yea its crazy and i guess im not really recommending it just your advise reminded me about that. but it worked and a few of my friends have tried similar stuff with potential long term relationship girls with mixed results lmfao one night my buddy was texting every sick ass thing that me my brother and another friend were coming up with and the girl freaked out on him and they didnt work out stupid bitch failed the test. I know im a fucking loon but thats what makes me so loveable:) women dont want a normal sweet guy they want a fucking man:) even if they wont admit it. ive found this to be true with most women. but thats just been my experience there are always exceptions:)
irongame, what kind of thing do you do to piss her off?
She once got bitchy with me for buying the wrong dairy (heavy cream instead of half-n-half) and a few minor things. She was having a bad day, and found out her grandparents who raised her are doing much worse and have to be split up and send to separate homes. I don't know if this is what you mean, I gave her a free pass since she brought it up herself and apologized
Well it really depends on how early on into the relationship it is. And it doenst necessarily have to piss her off. Just something that you know a good girl will not think twice about it and a not so good girl will do something to get back at you. So Ill test them right off the bat. Say i meet a girl out at a bar and she's acuatlly really cool. This actually happened just the other night. I went out with one of my friends and she brought one of her friends along. Her friend was sexy as hell, and really cool to we had some chemsity. So she tells me she has to drive back like 45mins at the end of the night. So i thought this is the perfect time to find out if she's a whore or not. So I'm like your not gonna stay with Katie? she's like idk where she's gonna sleep tonight we didnt talk about that. So I'm like you can stay at my house tonight. She's like aright that sounds good. So i know in my mind a true good girl is not gonna agree to stay at a guys house she literally just met 45 minutes ago. but a slut is down. So i knew right there she was nothing more then a jump off and there was not potential for anything more then that.
Or this other girl i was talking to a while ago like 2 months after my and my ex broke up. So where i used to go to school was a massive party school and all the girls were just down to fuck, nothing more. i would bet 1% of the girls at that school were actually respectable girls my ex being one of them. The rest of them were all the same, one night stand types go out and get wasted all the time etc. So i was talking to this girl for like a months at the time and she was trying really hard to make it seem like she wasn't like the rest and she was a good girl. I had my doubts tho. So one night were out at a party and she's standing next to me and i wanted to see what she would do if i said this. I was talking to my friend and we were talking about girls in this town and i said ya man, all girls in XXXXX are the same. A good girl would know I'm not talking about her, she's with me! I'm just generalizing the majority of girls in this town. But a spiteful bitch would get all bent out of shape about this. And mind you it was my birthday to. So what does she do? Goes out of her way the whole night to try to get back at me for saying that, hanging over other guys, and shit like that. Little did she know i couldn't care less about it, i had no feelings for her, but wanted to see if there was potential. Then the icing on the cake is always what they say the next day. If they say i was drunk i don't remember anything you know there full of shit. you know why? cause thats what i say when i know i fucked up and you bet your ass i remember everything i did the night before idc how drunk you are. You might not remember small details but you sure as hell remember if your entire night was dedicated to proving a point. If you ever here those words i was so drunk fucking run. Thats just two situations tho, i never let it rock for 5 months before test them, so idk id have to know her to know what to do.
But getting bitchy for buying the wrong dairy worries me a bit, but I understand when your having a bad day. Thats is a very minor thing to get pissed about tho. Its one thing if you forgot the cream all together noone wants to drink coffee black, but you still had something very close. Idk man every girl is different. I just analyze everything people do an approach it from a scientific stand point. And Its never once failed me, but I'm also probably pretty fucking nuts.