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Mon, 06/10/2024 - 08:50
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I have serious questions, do you guys think rehab is the one way for everyone ? I've been to rehabs before, Ive been in a 12 step program, my longest periods of being clean have come from me myself waving the white flag to everyone around me, and taking action. I am by no means saying this with any cockiness or arrogance. To some it may mean nothing, but being the moderator or whatever that runs this group, it makes me feel more responsible for my actions and what I do, if I'm out doin wrong, I can't make post on here appearing to have it all together. I slipped up a while back and I still hold so much guilt. I'm thinking that everyone around me still thinks the worse of me.
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I don’t believe rehab is what does it because the actual change happens inside your head. I know this because I have been through several rehabs and none of them stuck because I wasn’t ready. It ended up being jail and a personal choice that did it for me. But for those people who aren’t ready, rehab provides some much-needed structure to get you there. Fake it till you make it sometimes. At the end of the day, whatever works. God, groups, jail, near death experiences, therapy. I don’t think there is one right way.
I work in a rehab where we run all clients completely through all the steps with a mentor. Laces like that are hard to find but are amazing. Outside of that environment, treatment is what you make of it. If you need medical detox, treatment is great. Need to be separated from your using environment for a bit? Treatment is great. But unless your treatment center lets you get a sponsor and work steps while you’re in there, it’s up to you you to hit the ground running and get through the steps right when you get out, and FAST. ANY treatment can work amazing as long as you truly listen to others and stop trying to control everything. It takes true surrender and willingness to put sobriety above everything else. Job, kids, money, etc. if you can do that, and power through the steps and immediately start helping others do the same thing, well you my friend, are guaranteed to stay stay clean. Doesn’t guarantee that life will be amazing, but at least you can experience life’s ups and downs sober.
Nice Advice buddy
I don’t believe rehab is the one way for everyone, but is the most stable way 1000%, that being said dont knock yourself for falling off the horse in a leadership role, everyone trips up in one way or another as addicts whether it’s drama pussy to fill that excitement, shopping to feel like the dealer again, or just slipping up and using its cool man.
Coming from someone that did 1.5yrs in juvenile detention for MMJ & about a combined 16 months in county and was sent to State Prison intake for overflow but never for a prison worthy offense as a heroin addict for 4yrs and an eventual methadone zombie for 7yrs inbetween stays I can say that everytime I got clean, the lack of a plan or sticking to the plan laid out for me by the outpatient treatment centers or councilors is what eventually led to a relapse of some kind whether it was alcohol, Benzos, H, or Opium.
Without going into my story and staying on topic for you, don’t knock yourself too hard man, sometimes that’s what throws us back into the loop.
Hope you’re having a good one man and I’m totally new here so I don’t even know but I again dont think you should worry about it unless your cravings are still there and active.
Welcome to the Group Buddy!!
Thanks man!
Thought this was a different kind of recovery lounge but turns out this exactly where I need to be lol.
You know something guys sometimes i see this and just want to scream , yell , and punch some people out
Ive been to al-anon meetings. Where they say ohhh forgive your husband , your son , your wife. There not to blame , they deserve a secong , third , fourth chance
FUCK THAT When you guys realize how SELFISH it is to SCREW OVER THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU. Who stand by you so you can SHIT ON THEM for a fix.
Shame Ive been there and fucked over by you guys
LIVE YOUR LIFE IN SOMEONE ELSES SHOES. The person you screw over the most that loves the shit out of you JUST to be selfish … shame shame on you
If something is broken FIX IT
You might neg me BUT I LIVED A life of being put through shit and tried to hang on. Fuck that wasted my life trying to help and be with someone like you guys….
Thanks for reminding me of how life suckED
loving someone SO
SELFISH
You can throw me outta your group or keep me in for someone who has been on the opposite side i dont care
As someone that has been reading this site for 10 years before making a profile, this was disappointing. You and Makwa and a few others were so inspirational and knowledgeable. I wanted to reply last week but had no words. As I struggle again tonight, and understand your viewpoint, I wish it was as easy as saying no. Just start making the perfect decisions.
I used to feel the same way when my oldest sister who was my best friend as a child struggled with Schizophrenia. It was like “what is wrong with you! Why can’t you just be normal and not scream at my parents!!!”
Well. A disease is a disease. You’re lucky you don’t know what being addicted means. I don’t ever want to be this way.
I never thought I would be this way as a Christian athlete growing up. I also never thought I’d see my valedictorian best friend oldest sister dead from killing herself because the voices were too strong. I hope you haven’t belittled anyone to the point of that, because your frustrated comments were totally unnecessary dude.
I am not sure which side of the coin you are coming from when you are saying this mate - Are you meaning you have come to a Recovery meeting as the partner of someone who is an Alcoholic and you went to support them? Or are you meaning you went to a meeting as an addict and you were told to forgive those who upset you and played a part in your alcoholism?
I went to support the ex wife for years in & out
Rehab 14 days , 30 days , then evening meeting with fellow fuck ups who would sneek water bottles with vodka cause they did breath alyzers before the meeting but not after there middle break time.
I know you are going through an upsetting time at the moment bud, but this really isn't the place to be venting your anger and frustration at others. Nobody in here has done anything wrong towards you, and I as well as others class you as a friend on here in this group. You often have great things to say in here, and are helpful and positive which is why I am saddened that you are suddenly being like this. We have a member here who is clearly having a very tough time currently trying to maintain his sobriety and is asking for our help, this is not the only post he has put up recently.
Thank you guys, I appreciate all of the responses. I definitely need to put more into this cycle I'm on. I really really appreciate your all's time, and taking the time to sit and read my posts. It does mean a lot.
Rehab is great for an introduction to the 12 steps and a chance to take a step back and see the wreckage in a setting where there's clinical support and what not. But true recovery and growth will not happen until complete defeat has occurred and submission to powerlessness takes place. Once that's there, there's no going back. Even should we slip and fall, it's never going to be the same.
So yes rehab is great and had it's purpose, but when that defeats surfaces, that's where the real growth and recovery happen. That's where the changes are made. And it doesn't matter whether you are in a rehab or laying on the floor in a bedroom somewhere puking and shitting on yourself. Ultimately, when you are ready, you are ready
Buddy you gotta let the past be the past and not let yourself live with guilt or regret, whats done is done. If all of us chose to dwell on our lives in the past that we once lived we would have never gotten anywhere in progressing our lives forward and sorting ourselves out. If you let people down or upset them then apologise to them, try to make amends and if they are not willing to forgive you then accept that at this moment in time. I can assure you they will then think about it and probably come back to you in time and make peace, but the initial shock my catch them off guard and they may still be angry for anything you may have done to upset them, give them space. From the things I have seen you say on here and how you clearly feel towards others in need of help you seem like a nice enough guy to me, even though we are only communicating in comments and text its fairly easy to separate the shits from the good guys. I see no reason why others would continue to think wrongly of you, if they do then it can often be down to issue with them thats making them unhappy and not you - you can't please everyone mate and neither should you have to be a people pleaser either.
In regards to 'is rehab the only real answer', I would say no. The real and only way to stop your addiction in my opinion is to want it so badly for yourself that you are willing to do absolutely anything to get it, you are prepared to brave the huge comedown and illness that awaits because on the other side of that is a happiness that is worth fighting for & that will make you feel so fulfilled and content within yourself that you want nothing else. You have to be selfish about it too, you have to want to be sober for YOU - not to please your wife, girlfriend or kids, or friends but for you. People putting pressure on you to do it won't work, people helping you won't work - You have to say I WANT THIS FOR ME AND NOTHING WILL EVER TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME IN THE FUTURE. Willpower, Positivity, staying strong through the less than great times, appreciating what you have already in life and making that better. Get in the gym, get training, get eating, do a healthy gear cycle to keep you focused and motivated.
You only get 1 Life here on this little planet mate, in a short time it can very quickly be gone. Don't spend your time here wasting it worrying about what others think of you, if they like you they like you - if they dont then does it really matter anyway? Everyone has made mistakes and often those that are judging you have made more than you!! lol
A rehab is always a good start to full recovery. The fact that it will keep you under surveillance and away from danger is always a good start. After that is all on you and how much do you really want to stay away from bad consequences. There will always be an excuse to use, but learning how to be fully honest with yourself and not believing your own lies is a fundamental in getting better. My life changed when I realized I needed to stop believing the lies that the addict inside my head was feeding me: One time will do no harm. Just for this weekend and I'm done. I've been clean long enough I deserve to reward myself. Only on my birthday. Just once a month. Only on special occasions. It's new years eve. It's the 4th of July... etc.
Don't punish yourself too much about relapsing, it's not worth it. Just get yourself together, stand up and keep on trying until you get it. I relapsed a thousand times before I understood. This year I will be 10 years sober. It can be done, you just can never give up and stay down. Get up and try again. Best wishes brother.
I still do that. A birthday, holiday, cookout, it’s only a few times a year at this point, but it’s ugly. I’ll not touch the stuff. For months, not even think about drinking, then it’s the 4th of July and I drink a liter of vodka with ease and act like a retard the entire rest of the night. Usually followed by a morning cocktail so I feel human again, then not touch the stuff for another 3-4 months. I can tell too, get that wild hair on my ass and it’s followed by the unquenchable thirst. I chalk it up to “it is what it is” and life goes on without too much regret. I can say I wish I never got addicted to the benzodiazepines my doctor prescribed me. They were a great medication until they weren’t anymore. Every now and then I really wish I had one locked away for the curveballs life throws. There’s really nothing else out there that does the same job.
Yep, that was me for decades too.
I think there are things inside of us that can fill that void without having to use or drink. Try to think about when you were young and didn't have the fucked up mentality that we developed when we become older. There were simple things in life that we used to enjoy so much, but for some reason we stopped doing. Things like drawing, playing an instrument or listening to music, building models, doing a sport besides lifting weights. In my case I studied music and used to be very good at playing my instrument. But when I became addicted I completely forgot about music. Once I decided to changed my life, I discovered that I haven't forgotten how to play my instrument and every time I need to clear my head and emotions, I tell my wife, close the door, put the headphones on and get lost inside the music with my instrument. That feels even better than getting high to be honest. So look inside yourself, there's something there that can help you through those hard pitches life throws.
Yeah, I have all that. I play guitar, not often enough, love cooking, I’m big into target shooting, definitely have hobbies. Every few months that wild hair shows up though, I give in. It’s the oddest feeling, my stomach starts flipping before I even drink, from the excitement and anxiety. I know to limit it to that one day, but it still sucks.
Sometimes I expect people to see things the way I do and I apologize for that. The reality is that probably not everybody have seen the fucked up things I have in this place. By seeing all that shit I just became disgusted with the lifestyle to the point sometimes I don't understand people's struggles, because for me going back is out of the question. Just taking the pain medication responsibly after the surgery brought memories from my past and I just couldn't take the meds no more. That's how much I hate that shit now. But everyone's process is different, not right or wrong, just different and I need to be aware of that.
We’re all different my bro, different things work for everyone. As long as none of us fall back into our funk I’d say we’re doing great lol
I often wonder how the hell I use to live and function the way I did through those years of hell, up at 6 am to sink 2 large Russian standards with orange juice to stop rattling and be able to think clear headed LOL Then sit and think about the plan of action that morning which was usually to get up into town for more drink before there was any chance of running into anyone I use to know. I mean how on earth did I do that????!! These days I have to allow at least an hour to consume breakfast and a shake minimum otherwise I would feel rough and weak - so how did we function off drink/drugs alone?!! Evenings out would be standing from 8pm till 4am just consuming alcohol with no food, man I would last a few hours most now before wanting to come home and eat LOL
I don’t know, but over the years I’ve seen not so much with the drugs, but tons of old drunks. Most are in bad shape, less are just ok, and very few were doing well, BUT, they were fucking old. I don’t know if the stuff preserved them, kinda like pickled them, or it simply wasn’t their time to go yet. Many old drunks. There’s no legitimate explanation for it other than if it’s not your time you’re not going.