Hey kids. Ed here with a little story. This one is true, so buckle your seatbelts.
On Monday, things got a little crazy at work, and I ended up breaking a tooth. I tuff it out until I got home and go to the dentist.
I like my dentist and I guess you could say I’m pretty loyal, no homo.
So I go to my appointment, get seated, and to my pleasant surprise, the dentist has a new dental assistant. A hot one. She couldn’t have been over 20 years old.
She sits me down, asks me if I want gas and TV, so I’m like sure! Don’t be shy with that gas! She smiles, cranks it up, hands me the remote and leaves, she comes back a little later (mind you, the gas is starting to light me up a little and asks if the gas is too much. I reply with:”Is it on? Oh I didn’t know that you had it on, I thought it was just oxygen.” (Hate the game kids, not the player). So she replies with: “I’ll just go ahead and turn it all the way up.” Lmao, and....she does....
So there I am, waiting for the dentist, inhaling deeply through my nose to get the gas and exhaling out of my mouth.
“Oh shit Ed! Did you get Jacked up?”
You bet your ass I did.
So there I am, I flip on some comedian on Netflix and I’m trying my damnedest to not laugh. I don’t want the Dentist to know that I am lit like a fricken Christmas tree.
The dentist took a half hour to get to me, so I was kind of jacked up by the time he got there.
So there I am, all Jacked up getting worked on and I start checking out the hot assistant. She keeps making eye contact and I’m kind of enjoying myself and unfortunately, as steroid cycles would have it...I start getting a boner.
“Holy shit Ed! A boner at the dentist?”
That’s right kids. A boner at the dentist. I have no shame.
At any rate, I still making eye contact with the assistant and I notice she looks down towards the partially pitched tent and the at me and smiles. She knows that I know that she knows that I am getting a boner. Holy shit.
So I’m trying to think of other things...it starts to work until she rests a free hand on my bicep and makes a little stroke with her fingernail.
THIS CHICK IS FRICKING MESSING WITH ME!
The awkward boner again reports for duty.
So the dentist puts on a temporary crown and tells the assistant to clean up the work. He leaves and it’s just me and that chick.
“HOLY SHIT ED DID YOU BANG HER!”
No kids, come on. I am not an animal. Besides, I’m a married man and this was a busy dentist office.
So she starts to clean, and in between, rests her hand on my chest. I throw out a couple pec pumps and she smiles.
After what seemed like forever, she finishes up, and tells me She’ll turn the oxygen on and give me a little while longer if I need to be able to stand up.
“IS She referring to your boner Ed?”
You bet your ass she was.
At any rate, I gained my composure, she walks me out, smiles with a horny smile, and I got on my Motorcycle and dizzily drove home.
I’m pretty stoked for the next appointment to get my permanent crown. Lmao.

All my love, no homo
Ed