Arguing with women
I know we have women on this forum... I got a divorce not to long ago! I just had a girlfriend that I got rid of yesterday... When I see early warning signs I cut things off. Well I usually agree with them and just honestly say that your not the one for me and break up with them! Well I get the your a piece of shit! Your this your that! I don't want nothing to do with you! I basically listen to them and let them send text messages bashing me basically! I say absoutely nothing back but I'm sorry you feel that way... I get told I'm moody because of all the shit you take when really it's low carbs! Am I right for agreeing with them? Basically getting ran over? I basically say nothing then at the end I block there number and on any other public forum...
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I wouldn't waste my time 'arguing' with anybody .... it is a waste of time energy and resources, it is unproductive and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth not to mention it sets the stage for arguing as an acceptable form of communication. If you can't express yourself as an adult then your relationship is going to suffer as a result. Frankly I wouldnt even engage in any response other than to say 'I m not the one for you."
Same here... I've never argued with anybody in my life...
errr uh yeah that right ;-)
Saying nothing is always the best response to crazy! As a women, I have to tell you that I have very few female friends because they are all bat shit crazy, full of drama and I just don't like the negativity in my life. Follow your gut, if there are warning signs early, run! I personally am not a fighter, moody nor do I care to blame or stay in contact with my ex's, whats the point? I just feel its easier to move along if there are things you don't like about the person, no need to drag it out. I've had quite a few men get nutty on me or pull the crying bit (very unattractive btw) I may give them a one time response back but then they get blocked. Some people thrive on any contact is better than none so when you keep responding good or bad in their minds they are still part of your life. Understand there are normal, balanced women out there you just need to find them. Good luck!
"I've had quite a few men get nutty on me or pull the crying bit (very unattractive btw)"
I cried at the gym yesterday because my shirt didn't match my shorts........ stupid Tren...
I told you before you left they didn't match but you wouldnt listen ...
Well now....that's totally different! Got to look good when your lifting ;)
OMG I'm glad you said that... I thought it was just me.
Glad to see you remembered to wear shorts this time Goth.
Yeah... I got tired of dealing with the law.
Well shit Goth, what did you expect walking into Gymboree without any drawers on.
Bidges wouldnt even talk to me
HisGirlFridayFemale here - just curious, what warning signs??
Warning signs... Well, for me, that would be (just as an exmple) going apeshit over small things (like Starbucks is out of Dark Roast for 10 minutes until another pot brews)..... or..... going through my phone on the first date when I get up at the restaurant to use the the restroom to pop a few Anavar.... or..... saying "I love you, and if I cant have you NOBODY WILL MOTHER FUCKER" after 3 dates.
Those are just a few, but I'm sure I can think of 5 or 6......... thousand others.
Lmao yes what he said and this happened after the first 2 weeks!!! She got mad at me told me fuck me and cussed me out. The night before she love me! Lol...
HisGirlFridayHow do you find women like that???? Jeez.
Well, there's this. I find that women who are more worried about extensions, hair dye/appts, clothes, etc, the less worried they are about being a mature, well-adjusted, respectable female. There's just not enough time to handle all that shit, AND continue to grow and develop your intellect. Which isn't to say that there aren't amazing, intelligent, GORGEOUS women out there, they just didn't have to dedicate half their time to making themselves that way.
Places you'll be more likely to meet non-crazy women :
Dog Park
Wine & Painting (or Pottery)Class
Library/Barnes & Noble, etc. (you'd be surprised! My sister is a librarian, loves bodybuilder types, and is a solid 8.5)
Places almost guaranteed to have crazy women-
Gym (noncrazy girls go to the gym to work out, not hook up. If you fucked her in the bathroom after y'all did a few reps together, she's not GF material, straight up)
Mall
Club! (Club is worst. Do not look for a partner at the club.)
If you are drawing your water downstream from a warzone, dead bodies and human waste going into the river a mile above where you're pulling your water from, would you be surprised if you came down with dysentery, cholera, or the damn bloody flux? No, you'd find a new, clean, pure place to draw water from.
Sorry about the nutzos, bud. I wish you all the best.
NOW I'm convinced you're a woman..... and possibly a good one.
HisGirlFridayLol, no voice analysis needed? Don't wanna check my ip address? I guess I should feel honored, lol.
Chicks like a dude that doesn't take shit. Sometimes they will act like a c-nt to see your reaction. They do these stupid fucking tests as the relationship progresses. She will antagonize you or start a fight to test your character. Do a Youtube search for "shit tests" and you will understand what is going on. When you just take her shit, she loses respect and will walk all over you. When you blow up and tell her to get fucked, she thinks you are a psycho. The trick is redirection- keep her guessing, laugh it off or just listen when she gets serious. If she criticizes you, agree and amplify her assumption. If she calls you a piece of shit, laugh and say "you have no idea, total piece of shit". Let her know that she can't push your buttons. Let her see your masculinity, be strong and confident. Don't indulge in your emotions, be stoic. She wants to see that her bullshit doesn't affect you. Women are more attracted to guys who don't give a fuck. You have to balance making her comfortable with making her want you.
The female mind is a dark and scary place my friend. Don't try to understand it, just play the game. You are the boss, fuck her bullshit.
HisGirlFridayThat type of generalized thinking is why so many men are like, how do I end up with these crazy women??
Shit tests are simple enough to handle. "Look. I don't want to be with someone who throws a tantrum for no reason. Do you like being with me? Because I didn't sign up to be a babysitter or a tantrum soother. Continue again, or even for one more second, and I will remove myself from your presence permanently, and you can find yourself someone willing to deal with that type of behavior." Say it calm, say it slow, and mean it. If she says anything other than, "Sorry, babe, I'll never act like that again", she's a crazy person and should be gotten away from.
But the whole "girls love assholes" thing is a myth. WOMEN want a mature, respectful, strong (mentally/emotionally/and if you're like me, physically), motivated, enjoyable to be around, supportive, and if you're like me, funny, and intelligent man. There's nothing I can't stand more than a guy on an "asshole" trip.
Us females are not "dark and scary minded". It's actually pretty easy. We want a man that makes us feel safe, not like we have to protect him. We want a man that's motivated to take care of us,(I mean by way of keeping us safe emotionally/physically, not financially, that's a whole 'nother forum topic.) and himself (here, I do mean financially). We want to trust our man, fully, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Hey a woman's perspective! I didn't mean be an asshole, I meant be stoic, show that you are not easily moved emotionally.
I saw in your other post that you have a psych degree right? This is all basic evolutionary biology/ psychology. In the animal kingdom there are alphas and betas.
The alpha shows traits that are desired for reproduction - physically attractive, strong, confident, desired by other females, able to provide physical resources. These tend to be the traits that women desire in the beginning of a relationship. In the animal kingdom, this is usually the male who will have the most reproductive success.
The beta shows signs of being emotionally erratic, desperate to mate, clings to a female once he finds her. He shows emotional and physical weakness. These are obviously undesirable traits initially but once the relationship progresses these traits become desirable in small amounts because the female knows that this partner will stay around and help to rear offspring. The alpha is a desirable mate but she knows he will be off to the next partner soon and will not trust him. So like the animal kingdom, you have to add small amounts of these beta characteristics as the relationship progresses - being emotionally sensitive, compassionate, understanding, even domestic. But just in the right amounts to make her comfortable with you but not to fall into the weak/ beta undesirable scale.
Like I said, it is all a balance of making her want you (alpha) and making her comfortable with you (beta). Desire and trust, you have to fill both of those banks.
You are right that real women do not love an asshole but that cocky/ confident demeanor is attractive in the early stages of the relationship. Emotionally immature, codependent, low self esteem bishes love the assholes though, they will always cling to the douche rather than the good guy because he validates her worth by being her possession.
I'm not just talking shit here. I've been married for 12 years and my wife thinks I am the shit and so do her friends ;) She loves knowing that they are attracted to me, emotionally and physically. Being desirable to other females is an important part to maintaining her attraction too.
Very cool to hear a female perspective. Thanks
A mans biggest obstacle is himself.
You got that right ...
One needs to self intro spect to see what you are really putting out there .. if you keep attracting crazy check yourself because the ONLY thing those crazy chicks have in common is YOU... ;-)
HisGirlFridayThe definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. I find a lot of men complain about crazy women, but treated them the same, found them at the same place (gym, bar, club esp.), acted/responded the same way. That's where Eliot Rodgers mf-ers come from.
What's the one common factor in all your relationships? You.
The mailman seems to be a common denominator in my relationships...
Hahaha!
And there goes my morning coffee.
lol.. It's always me!
Lol
Any man that tells you he understands women,............. is either a liar or gay.
Ace VenturaI understand women
Lol true..
Id chime in with something constructive, but I've been married all my life pretty much and each divorce was my doing.I'm on #3 husband right now and things are good, although i must say that at this age I really won't put up with any bad behaviour....Life is too short for me now. I guess it wouldn't take much for me to say "Ciao, baby". I haven't really ever "dated"...casual sex with a variety of people in my youth doesn't really count. I would say that what other say, about women lashing out because they are hurt is true. This would especially be true with younger women I guess? If my husband now decided he didn't want to be with me anymore i would be sad for a while, but i'd get over it eventually. I wouldn't chase him around with texts etc. Indeed, when i split from my #2 husband 2 years ago, I cut off all communcation with him IMMEDIATELY and instructed him that if he had any questions to direct them to my lawyer. I blocked him on facebook and blocked him from my phone. No reason to beat a dead horse, I say. The husband before that, well, it was pre-cell phone and internet era so that was no problem. The best way to get over someone is completely block them from your life and get rid of everything that reminds you of them. And if the pain is really bad, as the old saying goes: "The best way to get over one is to get under one." LOL
I have been married almost my entire adult life. Now as much as I sometimes envy my single buddies and their ability to go out and sample other flavors, your post strikes a chord with me in what I wouldn't want and that is to end up alone or with someone I am really not bonded too.
Now what I want in my old age may not be what everyone else wants so I am not judging you. Quite the contrary, I appreciate your candor.
thanks Darth, I'm pretty much candid all the time! LOL
I just got done with my second marriage! Lol I'm to young for this shit I need to live a little... I've been married since my teens!
i understand that. I got around pretty good when i was probably a lot younger than i should have been so I pretty much know that the grass on the other side of the fence is just grass. It might be shorter or taller or greener grass but it's still jsut grass. I make an excellent wife, BTW. When i divorced my last husband he told me i was the perfect wife, he just didn't love me anymore. My wife-ing skills are top-notch!
Yet another completely foreign concept to me. Falling out of love... I could see wanting some alone time or a little space but after two kids and 22 years there is not a single person on the planet that knows me as well and vice versa. I see people divorce after even longer but the question in my head is could I ever have another bond this strong? Time is really short on this spinning rock people..
Ace VenturaI must have high standards. No chick would ever get a second chance to talk to me like that.
That is true! I guess let them finish getting up saying what they need to and that way I'm pretty much done once I hear what they have to say. Then block them!
I've been debating with myself weather or not to break it off with my current gf for the last few weeks.
The trouble is she's ok. It's the distance, 35 mile round trip. I could live with that tbh, it's missing gym regularly now that's the real issue just so I can get some. And she's great in that respect, let's me do whatever I want to do, backdoor after a few drinks lol.
I guess ill have to make a decision one way or the other, I'd feel really guilty now as I know she's well into me. Girls don't seem to give a fuck about breaking up with someone, I on the other hand have massive guilt and feel like I've ruined someone's life ffs. I guess having a conscious isn't the worst thing.
HisGirlFridayWeeks? You put it in her ass but she doesn't know where you live? Plus she's an hr round trip and you're considering breaking up w/her because you're missing the gym? You obviously don't GAF about this chick, can't you find warm holes closer?
She is really into you and she gives you backdoor action? She is a keeper bro. Just get her to drive to your place after the gym. Problem solved ;)
She's never been to my place, dropped me off once so has an idea where I live but not exactly.
And that's the way it will stay for the time being, maybe in a few months. If you have ever had some mad bitch banging and crying, shouting her mouth off in the early hours at your front door, you'd understand why lol.
x2 bro real similar situation for me. My girl is great, but there's a few key things lacking for me now that I didn't realize initially because of that honeymoon stage. Not much of an intellectual connection between us. It's been a while too, over 6 months now. I'd feel terrible to break it off. I'm just not as into it as I thought I was.
so you are staying out of pity or because you'd feel some pain about being honest ... this is doomed for eventual failure and you are not only wasting her time but yours with someone you KNOW isn't IT for you... you aren't staying with her because you feel bad for her you are doing it because you don't want to feel guitly for being honest .... cut your arm off if you need to ... my first husband left me and I sent him a thank you note ;-)
HisGirlFridayLeave her. You're wasting both of your time. Too many bitches, too much planet. Why stay with someone out of convenience? It's like asking to be hurt, and to hurt. Better to end it now before she develops real feelings and you're a monster for leading her on.
Sit her down and say, "Look, I just don't feel a connection with you. I would be wrong to continue this relationship under false pretences, because I can't ever see myself growing old with you. It's definitely not you, but it's not me either. I'm just not that into you." If she flips, goes crazy, does anything other than say, "I respect your honesty, have a great life!" You're really dodging a bullet anyways. Trust me. I'd rather be told, "I'm not that into you." After 6 months, than told, "Sorry, I haven't been into you for the last year, I was just too scared to tell you....plus, you were letting me hit so...."
Yes I always feel bad! I'm a sucker when they start crying but I put in the back of my head that it's not going to work...
Be civil, straight to the point, and move on. If they get nasty, just agree and move on.
If they start pointing out character flaws and blame it on the juice, well bro, you have the moral obligation to knock that bitch out and give her a real reason to blame the juice.
Hope that helps.
All my love no homo
Ed
P.S.
Ed does not condone hitting women under any circumstances. The above post was in jest and for entertainment purposes only. Ed feels that any situation that may require knocking a bitch out can , in every case be peacefully be resolved by choking a bitch. By no means should a man ever hit a woman.