My Apology and Reconciliation
First of all I am here to say I have fucked up. I have fucked up in more ways than one pissed off a lot of people along the way. I want to take this moment to APOLOGIZE to all I have ever offended pissed off and unnecessarily called out. Secondly I would like to tell you all a litttle bit about myself so you can maybe understand where I am coming from. I have a rare Auto-Immune Disease called Evans Syndrome. It is a rare disease that has had my Dr. prescribing me Anadrol at 200mg per day for 6 weeks while I was in the ICU with a Hemoglobin of 2. My heart had crashed from not receiving enough oxygen. I died. I was brought back by a Defibrilatior and placed back on life support. This happened 2 days after I had started the Anadrol for the first time in the 10th grade my sophomore year of high school. For those of you that may or may not know AAS is prescribed to treat certain medical conditions. I have what is called Evans Syndrome. The FDA has approved Anabolic Steroids for the use of treating even curing low blood counts. ONE WEEK after dieing my hemoglobin went from 2 to 8 in just 4 days at 200mg per day!!! We all know Anadrol and certain other orals increase red blood cells so this became a miracle drug! I was also prescribed 150mg per week of Nandralone which we all know as Deca. It too has the medical ability to strengthen and add to the length of life for the red blood cells and platelets. In Evans Syndrome the B cells and T cells destroy platelets and red blood cells for no reason.
Now onto the main reason for writing this is to apologize for what arrogance I displayed and for the disrespect to any mod or advanced member who did provide good legitimate advice. I understand that respect for me wont just happen over night but I hope that this apology will be a step in the right direction.
In my defense. Viking Power had given and suggested a diet for me to increase calories and help me lose weight. I got bashed for posting progess pics harassed and unjustly negged and made fun of. Why would you make fun of someone who sought help from a mod or professional on this site to better him or herself? No effing reason for it. THAT is what pissed me off and started that semi-destructive path. I HAVE BEEN AAS FREE SINCE MARCH 2ND FOLLOWING A PERFECT PCT losing 16lbs that cycle and still keeping it all off. Was it dumb? should I have waited? should I have done that NATURALLY? YES TO ALL! I have made a lot of mistakes here on eroids yes I've come a long ways and have a lot to be proud of but I should have listened to ALL of you who told me it could have been done NATURALLY. I plan to drop another 20lbs and be 15-16% body fat by the time the EBC starts if I do not reach this goal it is likely I will withdraw from the EBC and wait for the next one.
NOW if any of you have PROFESSIONAL criticism and would like to post below please do I WELCOME IT and am prepared to LISTEN. I have learned that those pros on this forum that I have listened to in the past and most recently Pmob Viking Monk and Sumatra Triangle as well as Rusty I have succeeded more than I expected. If you are going to say something negative about a post, cycle or goal of mine PLEASE don't just -1 me and actually explain why disagree or why it should be done differently.
As for the -1s I had 408 karma the other morning and in less than 24 hours it dropped to 398 now I know if the mods reduce karma they tell you that you fucked up. This just tells me that people don't want to see me at the ADV rank that they're just negging and -1 because they want to without reason.
I have manned up and APOLOGIZED. I do not ask for your trust right away but I would like to ask for your respect. Not to toot my own horn but I had a message returned to me a while back of someone I had offended saying it takes a big man to step up and apologize. In the next day or so I will be posting my current diet and goals for CRITIQUE. I would like and appreciate as much professional criticism as possible
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my apology and for those of you that respond I thank you for your time as well! God bless eroids!
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Help me out brah! What mean dat?
In the state pen they have names for different mental states, category J is the crazies! we call them J cats, thats anybody that needs to be on meds. we have a lot of j-cats running around here!
StevebChesters are worse than J Cats.
I need more of these jail house words in my vocabulary.
no worries I just need to borrow you for a month or so, well have you talking, walking, dressing, and acting gangster in no time! you like red or blue? black, white, mexican, or asian? get you a couple tats, some gang signs and youll be ready to run the block!
AnonLmfao!!!!!
Lol, I have a couple tats already! I'm ahead of the game lol
what? you should be giving me advice!
AnonI fuckin love it
Can you tag em lmao!!!!!!
Lmao that brought mw back to a different time in my life thanks noid lol
Jk703, there are a bunch of reasons I could give you for putting your account in suspension. But I'll lay off the virtual beat down for now and just say that you don't get to go around taking karma from ppl who simply disagree with you. After you call them bitches and pussies and disrespect some of our most docile, laid back members just trying to help you. This whole post is just wrong my man! You say you have some issues. Ok , I'll go with that. I see it like this, if you're mature enough to know when you're wrong, you should be mature enough to know when to speak and when to listen. When to lash out and when to back off! You have no sense of any of these common, simple human interactions. No social manners, and IMO are not mature enough to handle the hormones you're putting in your body. If you're this unstable all the time , how could you ,...or why would you risk messing with your behavior or mental state by introducing powerful hormones into your lopsided brain chemistry?
I could sit here and repeat bits and pieces of what everyone else has said but I wont. you talked to me once and I gave you a compliment saying don't worry about what others think of your physique make your transformation and that'll speak for itself. what I didn't mean is do what you want and say what you want while disrespecting people trying to give you advice and then not caring about their thoughts and opinions. one thing you need to know in life not just eroids , is that all people have different opinions and when you put yourself out there your going to get all types of responses. now does that mean your a fool when you get poor responses , no , but when you respond with hatred and stupidity that shows your true colors and that is how people develop a correct opinion of you. seems you've fucked up in more ways then one , then talking shit to another member right after your apology is like saying sorry to someone but in the same sentence after telling them fuck you. does that make any sense? whatever your problem is I hope you figure it the fuck out , because your life on eroids probably wont last with the way you treat people, and your real life will suck also with the way you lash out with craziness. well that's my take , wish you the best.
I don't understand bro. You took the time to write an apology which I think is a big move that many people would never do and then the comment above to another member was written today after the apology?
Help me out here bro.
Thats because he is not apologizing he is pointing fingers if you read INTO this post.It was made very clear to me when I read "Back off you PRICK! Go join your group of cocksuckers. Don't EVER speak to me again!!!" The guy is not an advanced member in my eyes and needs to stop toting his karma around Like it means something...He cries about people negging them but negged me for voicing my opinion about him.IMO he is a joke
honestly i think this post is complete bullshit. you post pics lying about the size of your arms and all kinds of crazy cycle logs and if you don't get 100% positive feedback you flip your shit even when guys are just trying to help you out. ive seen you go off many times on lots of good solid members who were just trying to help you out and on top of that you're the first one to go crying to the mods demanding people get banned after you create one of your little shitstorms. seriously you need to grow up.
Damn, never thought I'd +2 Dudebro. Lol
appreciate it eddie. i read this thinking the dude might actually start acting like an adult but then i go over and read that other thread and its the same old shit all over again.
On a side note, you talk about the ADV rank, just curious...can you tell us why you think you deserve the advanced rank? You have been here for 3+ years and this is only the third forum post you have ever made? I've never seen you give cycle advice or help anyone out? Just curious as to why you believe you deserve this? How would you say that you contribute to the community?
Well dang Ed, you made your incision below and now you're draining the last little bit of blood out of the guy. I would have never guessed you did mortician's work. You never cease to amaze!
Lol, I'm playing nice. :). Just wanted a little clarity.
Check out the ebc thread
Not sure why you are apologizing because you have always seemed to be above board to me, but it takes big man to admit he was wrong. Keep up the good work brother, eroids is a better place with you here!
Jk, I guess my issue with you has always been your shitty attitude.
For me, I noticed it after you competed in the EBC. I was a judge in that particular EBC, and spent a lot of time trying to make sure everyone got a fair shake.
After the judging I jump back in and see you bitching and crying because you thought the judges robbed you when it was clear you hadn't made any progress at all, even tough a few people were nice to you and said nice things.
After that I noticed you always had a false sense of your own greatness.
The little comments here and there... I thought made you look like a dipshit.
That's my take on all of it. The apology is great but really you need to apologize to yourself for making yourself out to be a douche. I still call bullshit on a lot of your pics from the 20+. Inch guns to the pics taken on the same day and posted as new.
But that's neither here nor there.
I think that's why you got so much shit on your pics from the beginning..
Just my take. Hope you get your shit together, have a little humility and do yourself a little justice and work on the attitude.
Guess I didn't know any of this either
This apology is full of excuses on your behavior bro,Look stop blaming everyone for neg's You set yourself up and in this wrold there will be Just and UnJust deal with it.Who gives a flying fuck about karma,If Im looking for advance member to ask I dont look at their points I look at their post & how long they have been here.If your an advance member in a year or less chances are you post alot of pics and karma whore.CONTENT IS WHAT MATTERS.I just read some of your very RECENT post and you sound like your using this apology for sympathy and to point fingers
AnonThats whats up
I dont think the guy is capable of acting right in all honesty... I think he is delusional of his appearance and only wants to have his ego stroked and if your not doing that then hes not happy....... Cant handle the truth... When i posted my pics i always looked for opinions and got some good ones and also got some that i needed to hear wasnt horrible just some good compliments and constructive critcism coming from alot of guys here...... They told me i was making good progress and some told me areas that i could improve thats what its all about......
Mysteriously Negged after this post LOL hmmm I wonder =)
You got a neg in another forum post today by a different member. Wasn't jk. But 9x outta 10, it's an accident.
Hey thank you for clearing that up.I apologize for insinuating that he did it but everything else I said remains the same ;) Thanks
Honestly I have avoided interacting with you but after your recent rant on Pale Rider I've had enough. You run around here acting like you own the place, talking shit and calling names. Having an illness is not an excuse to act like an asshole. You really need to stop posting pictures constantly and give some thought to your comments. I've seen you spout off to many members.
This little rant is one of too many to count. I'd post them but let's face it everyone has seen them. I have no idea why the community tolerates your behavior.
http://www.eroids.com/forum/general/off-topic/a-little-humility
I just saw that shit today. What a douche.
Oh wow. That post and this thread... Hard to know who this guy really is. I commented below thinking he had turned a new leaf. But as I've said before and I'll say it again, I've been here only a few months. There's a lot I don't know. I think I'll just keep my eyes open and watch the show pop off.
Bro I know it seems important to you now, but eventually you will move on and forget about eroids. It's takes alot to apologize, but what for? To me you haven't done anything wrong, if anything you have been pushing harder than most. I say this from a medical stand point, your health is more important than eroids and stress. Continue the good fight brother, do it for yourself and not us. Do the ebc regardless if you win or loose! Don't let nothing discourage you! Keep kicking ass and...
Godspeed,
Win
AnonThank you so Mich bro you've always been positive and helped me as well as encouraged me. I'll never forget!
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkWhats up with all these apologies You guys need to up your ai dose...........Nah im just playing Good luck with ya bro =)/Also brother no offense but in alot of your pics you act cocky and arrogant which is fine IF you got the body to back it up.Also brother vikings diet is great if you have the muscle to back it up You dont (No offense).You need to go on a regular diet 40/40/20 and be in a deficit brother drop the shakes as well those are for bulking my man.This is with all due respect
X2. Those shakes are not meant for people trying to lose weight. Start drinking the tuna shake if you wanna lose weight.
AnonFor what its worth.. i hope you meet your goals safely.. i have offered to help in the past but i think you got it covered. I wouldnt worry so much about the karma or what your tag says you got enough other things to focus on and just put all your energy towards that... the negging ? it happens but i can tell you that i havent even tho i wanted to after you bit my head off and started the name calling.. but i chose to just forget about it and be on my way... dont worry about losing karma cause im sure you will gain plenty once you show us some real changes... try to keep in mind that sometimes when trying to enterpret someones tone in text can somwtimes be misleading it may not be meant in the tone you took it...
Hell i lost alot of karma over that in a promo page but i didnt complain i just took it as a lesson
Good luck
AnonThank you very much bro I appreciate your time and response regardless my apology stands
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkAnonaccepted
That's so true it's easy to misunderstand what's been said and what your intending to mean happened to me before here.
Me too man, misunderstandings suck, i got flamed so bad for a thing that someone took in a crazy off the wall direction once, that i didn't even loik at a forum post for 3 months.
Ya happens all the time. It's hard to interpret what people mean thru text
Jk I read the posts where you were flamed for your cycle and your progress pics. Im going to be honest its hard to see much progress, im not saying your not making any. What im suggesting is that you get someone to take the pics for you instead of a close up selfie in a mirror. I think your progress would be more noticeable that way. Like I said im not doubting your progress I just think your choice of pictures havent been that great. Also take pics with different lighting from different angles. The light can make you look great or it can make you look like shit. Look in my profile at my 1 year progress pics, I went from a fat tub of shit to about 9% bodyfat. If you wanna chat about how I done it then just hit me up. Best of luck!
AnonI will thanks bro!!!
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkRustyhookerIt's not eeasy to keep focus when folks get negative towards ya. It turns your mind into self defence. Wording online is extremely difficult in conveying the real message. People that talk crap, yet post no pics can get under the skin. But are they really worth the time lost arguing? I know I've been guilty of it and looking back.....why. Definitly not easy.
Different body types are very misunderstood. Ecto-endo-meso. Look at some of the wwe pro wrasslers. Lol. You got guys hardcut and big Burley guys. I've met some of those Burley dudes when they come thru the gym. HUGE! Bigger than tgey look on TV. Not cut or defined but holding a lot of power. Basically, work with YOUR body. Even if a dietician comes in for help.
AnonI've been trying to build my rank and my reputation on this board which is why it bugs me as much as it does. Assholes negging me just to neg and bash me it makes me sick.
The point is JK be yourself; if you let people belittle you and bash you then they won. You should be using that as fuel for your reasoning to gain and get better. The only person that can bring you down is YOU. So put your big boy pants on and keep fighting the good fight. You have a lot because of your sickness so any little bit of progress you do is bigger then you could imagine. Stay Fkn strong......and stop crying. When you make yourself look foolish then you have noone to blame but yourself when others knock you down.
Nice job for coming out and explaining yourself and apologizing for whatever feel you needed to.
I have to say that you have more courage than most for laying everything on the line here. You have posted all kinds of pictures to show the progress you've made and I give you all thre props in the world for that. Keep it up.
We all make mistakes and what matters is what we learn from those mistakes. Looks like you're headed in the right direction.
Very best of luck to you and don't let anyone get you down.
Whats up JK. Takes a man to apologize, althought not sure what you are apologizing for.
The problem with communicating online sometimes is it is hard to determine tone through text. Things will always get misinterpreted.
In my time here you've never offended me in anyways.
Best of luck with your health and your goals and I'll see you in the mix inthe EBC!
AnonDamn straight you will bro lol and thanks for stopping by!
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.Permalink