posted Mon, 10/21/2013 - 07:44
2485
Well, it's happened
ad
Today is the day, and I just thought I'd vent a little. My divorce is final today, I've known it was coming for a long time, but it still hit me like a truck. Been a pretty shitty year all things said. Was fired in February, and have been struggling financially. Then my wife leaving me for another man definitely has not helped with my self worth over here.
Fuck this sucks.
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
Yes it does. This goes everyday went through this a few years ago. Keep you head up. Sorry for the bad year but now it is time to work hard. But you could always feel better thinking it was not a woman. lol Not real funny but Really things have a way of working out. Best of luck to you.
CleyonWow, thanks everyone for the uplift. I did something last night that I haven't done in a while, I went to the gym and threw everything I had at the weights. I didn't give a rip if anyone saw me crying while I was doing curls or bench. I just decided it didn't matter and threw all my frustrations at the weights. No idea how long I was there, or how many sets/reps I did. I just worked something until I couldn't do any more, and went and found something else fun to do.
Slept like a baby last night too! Anyway, today is the first day of the rest of my life. On my way to work (yeah, I have a job that I started two weeks ago, so there is that) I stopped at Starbucks, and was talking to one of the girls that works there. She told me not to worry about being alone, all the girls up there refer to me as "Hot Mike". Much needed ego boost.
Anyway, feeling much better. Part of me wants to start hitting on the baristas immediately, but I'm going to take my time and get myself into a better place first. Start re-building my temple (body) and make up for lost time.
Glad to hear. A few good events give you proof that life does exist beyond the pain. Keep striving for that on a consistent basis. By all means, hit on the ladies..do what you gotta do. No strings attached. Keep yourself by yourself and truly heal from the pain you may feel. Sooner or later the right women will land at your feet (probably from being piss drunk) and it will be drunk love at first site. LOL
Good luck HOT MIKE! (no homo)
That is awesome bro! Good for you!
That's good shit right there bro, glad to hear your spirits are being lifted!!
The gym always makes me feel better regardless of the situation!
Way to kick life in its ass!!! This is great to hear!!!
.
RustyhookerTime for top to bottom renewal. Been there and it's definitly not fun.
Watch Conan the Barbarian when you get that state of mind. It doesnt make the rage and frustration go away but make your enemies and trials your motivation and not your anchor.
CleyonThat's a GREAT idea! "See them driven before you, and here the lamentation of their women"
You here that divorcees everywhere, slap on 'Conan the barbarian' to solve your woes
lol
you are defined by how you react to adversity Cley. It is easy to be "whatever" when things are going well but it is the measure of a mans character to see how he does when the "world" is against you
CleyonThanks Grrrl, I'll make it through this and honestly most people don't even know what is going on (still haven't talked to my parents), but I needed some place to vent, and knew that I wouldn't get a ration of crap on here for letting out.
When are we going out? ;)
you tell me cave man ;-)
Sorry to hear bro. Not much I can say that hasn't been said but time does heal. You will find eventually it will get easier. You'll meet new people and new opportunities and find a new life for yourself. A spouse that can do that to their significant other is worthless and not someone you want in your life anyway. That goes for women and men. So, next time you see her new man... Tell him "fuck her.... , I did" ok so what if that's grade school shit. It's still funny. Lol
I know its tough bud. It will take some time. Every divorce does.
Patton said, "I do not judge a man by how high he has climbs, I judge him by how high he bounces!"
Takes some time to heal and get up, dust yourself off and get back to it brother!
I would focus on the fact that you unlike many people get to start over fresh. You now have the ability to get out of a relationship and a job that was more than likely unfulfilling and never meant to be in the first place. Your still in your 30's and that is better than starting over in your late 40's or 50's like some people. Don't focus on the past focus on the present to avoid this ever happening again. Stay focused on your own goals and when you start to realize you are achieving them all of this will disappear.
CleyonThanks guys, I really appreciate the support. I haven't been on here a lot lately because life gets in the way, but I appreciate all of you, and this great site.
GearofWarSorry to hear that life seems to be kicking you in the teeth, friend. It hasn't been a great year here either. I'm the most broke I've ever been feeding 4 mouths with one paycheck. That's why I'd disappeared from here because I felt so shitty and jealous that I can't afford any gear at all and still can't but even though I'm not on gear I remember why I liked it here so much. I like to give support to the brothers that need it, like yourself at this low point in your life. You were pretty much one of my first "friends" here on eroids when I arrived last year. When my old man died last December I used eroids to get me through. You can get through it too with a hand from the GOOD people here. They'll show themselves and help dust you off. Shit can always get worse, Cley. I know shit can get BETTER too though. Chin up, man.
Life keeps moving foward. Keep your head up bro.
Good to see you back btw.
AnonYour still alive, look in the mirror, smile and move on. There are millions of women and jobs out there, dont not let one situation, influence your outlook on life. LIVE
I lost my job too at one point and time, but eventually found another higher paying and better career. If I never was laid off id still be making 12.00 hr going no where in that company. Relationships are crazy too, I loved the x wife, but my new wife makes me a better man. Its will turn around keep ur head held high.
I survived my first divorce just fine and found an even better woman. You need to believe me that right now you are in the middle of alot of emotions that, I swear its true, will decrease as TIME goes on. I couldn't stand to think of my ex with another man, I couldn't see another guys car in front of her house and keyed many cars (yea I know it was stupid of me). But as time went on I became better and actually have shook her new husbands hand very easily. I know this won't be the same with you because of the circumstances but what I wanted to really drive home was that TIME WILL HEAL.
I want to write this without being insensitive because I am truly disturbed about your sorrow. But also I can't relate in the least bit way. If my wife did this to me I would be elated at the divorce in fact I would be so glad to know she had this in her all along and it was just a matter of time before she revealed he true colors. Therefore saving me years of a delusional relationship.
I try to use every scenario in my life to grow. So in any relationship have that reaches an impasse I ask my self is it my fault, or is it their fault or is it both of our faults. Because everything truly does come down to this. I have heard people tell their kids oh it is nobodies fault. That is bullshit when people make promises and vows to each other.
Some lie to their kids and make the ex spouse innocent when they are not. This only brings more confusion to the tumultuous situation. Because as the kids grow up they think well if everyone is so wonderful and it is nobodies fault why the hell did they separate?
My .02 is like Nitti said get up and fight. If you examine yourself and see where you didn't provide physically or emotionally then own it and change it for the future. If you did everything a man can do to secure the relationship then blame her for being faithless and pathetic and be glad it is over.
Move on trust me life does not forgive being melancholy! If you have children they will need your strength and selflessness now. If not then you need to finish this for your life's sake. Don't measure your self worth by what has happened measure it instead by how you respond.
I assure you I am not trying to be an asshole here but I live and believe everything I am saying as a way to true self worth. There may be plenty of well meaning people that will sympathize right now and say "Oh I feel so bad for you." You make think it is helping and encouraging but I promise once it fades you will be more depressed than before. I truly wish you all the strength to pick yourself up and be a better and stronger man for this!
CleyonI'm not going to hide the truth from them, but I'm not going to put them in the middle of it either. She's made her choices, and no matter what it feels like to me, the only person I can control is myself.
Thanks bro, I didn't take any offense because I appreciate your directness.
Can't imagine how u feel im really sorry to hear that but like others said new doors and even better things can and will come just dont let this keep u down and dont forgot the big guy upstairs loves u
Sorry for your pain.keep your head up.I was not married but been through some shit with my last girl.When one door closes another usually opens.
Keep ur head up bro! When one door closes another opens.
Yes it sucks Bro but millions have done it before you. Don't forget that. What happens next is up to you. You can either let these events be the defining moment in your spiral downwards or you move on, learn for it, grow and become stronger and better than you ever were. Keep focused on the positive things in your life and start from there. It will get a whole lot better if you allow it to. You are in control. No one else.
Good luck and we are always here for you
Even the best of us fall flat on our faces and get knocked down sometimes. So you're at the standing 8 count. You can lay back down and sulk or you can stand the fuck up and fight through it as it comes. Adapt and survive. Don't overthink things and roll with the punches bro! You have a bunch of ppl here at least who've been there or can relate. Venting helps. Sorry to hear it but you're no pussy! You'll push through it. Good luck Cley
CleyonThanks bro, I know you're right. Definitely right about me not being a pussy! I'm going to make it. There will be good days and bad, but in the end I'll be better off for it.
Brother, it will turn around, you have to believe in that..
CleyonJust did brother, just did.