I know this may sound silly bro but watch out for full moons. I always seem to have a heightened sense of anxiety around certain moon phases. Once I was able to identify the phases that would mess with me the most, I would prepare and plan accordingly and make sure I was doing/eating all the things I enjoy (kinda like a random cheat day lol) then I would lay in the shower for a while get to sleep early and have a cold wet rag by my bedside just in case I woke up in a panic. Once I got in this routine it made those days a lot easier for me to get through. What’s weird now is I’ve learned my body’s feeling around these phases so well that I can sense what phase the moon is on and really don’t even have to look up what phase it’s in. It’s really strange but very true my girlfriend looks at me like I’m a nut when I say randomly “it’s gunna be a full moon tonight” (and I think it really is gunna be tonight based on how I’m feeling right now) then she looks it up and sure enough I was right lol..

I hope this helps bro good luck and remember listen to your body and identify certain feelings and coorelate them to specific events to see if you can establish a pattern. Once that pattern is established try and create a new sequence in the pattern based around things you enjoy and see if that stops manifestation of symptoms.

I woke up yesterday morning and felt dead inside. Literally no emotion, desire, passion anything. Was very depressed laying in bed all day unable to function. Thought about stopping bodybuilding the majority of the time. It got so bad by 7pm I wanted to be 20% body fat 170lbs as my ideal look. Looking at pictures of the pros and thinking that looks disgusting, what am I doing with my life. By 930pm I had a 23g 1" in my quads pinning a ml of test e. I have no clue what triggers my depression and anxiety but it is for sure a repeating theme. I would say every couple months I have a day or two like this. Happy to be on here to have support in multiple ways

Fucking stress gets me every time my friend.
Another is when I go back down south to visit family and swing by to see my best friend in the world is another. I see the choices I made in my past versus the choices he made and it kills me. He has a nice home 3 cars,boats, atvs you know a really good life. I can't say I've had a bad life but it sure as fuck hasn't been easy or the best of lifs. I was told I was Adhd and bipolar at a very young age then my old man goes to prison when I was in the 5th grade and didn't get out in till I was 19 by then I was already hooked on drugs and I battleded with that in till my early 30s. Here I am now almost 39. I've been clean for 7yrs but still struggle with bipolar and at times its tough. Meds help some but what helps me the most is pushing my myself, body and mind to its breaking point in the gym. I still have days I just want to ball up like a little baby and cry all day but I have to stay strong. I won custody of my youngest son 5yrs ago and he's 14 now so he is my life line he keeps me strong and keeps me pushing forward to see that he has a better life than I did. Mental illness fucking sucks my friend it fucking sucks but we have to choices lay down and die or fight tooth and nail everyday to keep our head above water. I chose to fight at least for today. Who knows what tomorrow holds ill find out when it gets here.