Hey,

I'm am diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder) PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. along with that is the chronic fatigue, which I feel has now become adrenal fatigue, I'm off to see my GP this week.

What keeps me afloat is routine, meditation, diet and herbal supplements.

Anything can destabilise me. The weather, a certain look from someone, tone of voice, unexpected loud noise or bang, anything, then I'm falling trying to grasp onto something to steady myself. This can last a few hours to a few weeks.

These last two and a half months have been horrendous. My fatigue has hit a new level. Unable to get out of bed for days at a time, unable to pick my 2yr old daughter up, sleeping but not feeling rested. This only adds to the depression

And people don't understand, I've been told to get a grip, grow a pair, that I'm weak, etc.

I'm trying to seek what might have caused this huge crash, what was the tipping point, maybe a collection of things.

I know how I want to heal myself, but I seem to be a lone voice and although I'm trying to educate myself in heal, through diet and herbs, it's really tough when I discuss it with family and friends, I just get a blank look and they want to change the subject.

I found when I ran a test e and deca cycle my depression was so bad. But looking back I know it was the deca. But I also reckon it may have been the lab as well. I've done test e cycles and using different labs and always felt good. But the test e from the same lab as the deca seemed to bring me down. I had run a test e cycle only using this lab before I did the deca cycle. Just a thought and it's only in hindsight.

Thought I would share abit about me and my struggle with depression and all it's companions.

I have been diagnosed with, ptsd, treatment resistant depression, passive ADD and panic disorder. I have been taking adderral for about a year and it has been fairly effective. The side, effects, however are unbearable at times. My major symptoms are panic attacks and exteme fatigue, both mentally and physically. No motivation or drve what so ever. As i said, the adderral works well but, it is an amphetamine and is slowly causing health problems. The reason i came to eroids is, a friend with similar issues said hgh, worked wonders for him and the side effect profile is much lower. From what i have read, the dosage required for general health and rejuvenation are fairly low (1.5-2mg) daily. I am in good shape physically. Already lean (thanks adderral). 40 yrs old, 5'8 185lbs. Mostly cardio, body weight exercises and martial arts. I just want to feel normal, energetic and healthy. I have just ordered somatropin. This will be my first experience with hgh and/anabolics. Does anyone have any insight on how well this will work for my particular needs? I am extremely hopeful.
Thanks everyone