Need some help and wisdom
Lately I have been feeling upset at myself for canceling plans with my girlfriend who I love very much and plan to marry her someday. We have been dating for over a year now. The problem I'm facing is the fact that I have cancelled two times on her the past 3 days when we had made plans. I don't want to skip meals because if I do I drop weight rapidly at the blink of an eye. I'm currently 190 first thing in the morning low bodyfat 9-10% making very good progress. I think to myself if I am running gear and other things alongside with it, what is the point if I'm not putting 110% into my nutrition? To me I can't justify spending countless hours every week at the gym, pinning all this gear, dealing with the occasional pip if I'm half assing it and skipping meals. This seems to be getting in the way a lot recently as I have become much more serious when it comes to nutrition and seeing great progress. On the other hand I feel awful for cancelling on her when she wants me to come spend time with her and her friends late nights but the problem is when we go out I skip a meal first off, second off I have to spend the night at her place so I'll skip another big shake meal before bed, and finally I'll have a shitty breakfast the morning after since I'll be at her place. I'm just torn right now and not feeling right mentally is it worth having next to no life just to be at peak performance? I want to be great and swole as hell when people see me I want them to think 100% I must be on steroids not just be your average "pretty big guy". I'm just struggling with balancing things out I really love this girl and I texted her I wouldn't be able to make it tonight and got a phone call from her. She's ok with it she loves me but I know her and can tell by her tone of voice she was very upset and it kills me hearing her voice like that. She's the type of girl that would do anything for me and do anything I tell her to. For you guys that have been doing this for years and are big and swole how do you balance it all? Thanks and sorry for the long read.
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
This is why i try only to date men who are into this lifestyle; circumvents all the weirdness. However, your entire life should not revolve around lifting, pinning, dieting etc. if you miss one meal or god forbid a workout, you wont get skinny....i just had emergency surgery and i'm 12 days outta the gym...i didn't loose everything i've worked so hard for in 2 weeks....balance is important with everything in life...having said that honestly i think yr g.f. would rather see you bring (and leave) some protein mix or whatever food you need, then to not see you at all.
First off don't make plans you don't intend follow through on. Most of what you're saying is a cop out because you can get most of what you need with planning ahead. Packing your food and making sure she's on the same page so you can find a compromise. 1 time is forgivable twice is rude but 3 times is selfish as hell and making her feel not very important. Get it together bro if you love her as much as you say you do. Remember actions speak much louder that words!
Bro if I'm crashing at my girls house I will make sure I have a carton of organic eggs, shredded cheese, rolled oats, and wheat bread there for breakfast.
But you are right. Having a social life does get in the way of progress, especially if you're trying to cut down into single digits... No eating out, drinks, etc.
epcfitnessThank you very much everybody.
Ask her to join you in your lifestyle. If you both eat every 3 hrs, which is incredibly healthy by the way, that's done. Ask her to come training with you. Now that doesn't mean you have to train together, she can do her thing you can do yours. Like GRRRL says below to be a part of your life, she has to sign up for your lifestyle. To be completely happy I had to find a women that lived the same way I do. Check out fitcpl here. Now that's a team!
Pack your food. I've been in her shoes, and I left the guy. You have to find balance.
Thank you. My wife made it clear to me that if my lifestyle starts to effect our relationship then something is leaving; which meant her. She pretended at 1st that it did not bother her but after the 6th time I blew her off she let me have it. If it wasn;t for her I would be a mess right now so I pay it forward and make sure I am there for her every chance I get.
I'm glad you were able to find balance. My experience was years ago and he drove me batshit crazy. He even went as far as setting an alarm so he could eat literally every 4 hours. Maybe that's normal but I thought it was insane lol
it's only insane if he wasn't a Pro.
He was into the Olympic lifting competitions. lol some GF I was I don't even know what they are called. He did well, won a lot of stuff people were impressed... I however was 21 and not amused. I was pretty high maintenance back then. AKA I was a bitch lol
Everyone hit it below bring some food with u. Don't lose out on life and it sounds like the women of your dreams
Time to make LIFE you priority; not lifting and AAS. If you are skipping out on your girl because you are afraid of missing a meal or a workout or a pin; then you are doing EVERYTHING wrong in your life. When you hit your 50's or even 60's you can look back at your life and reminisce about how you had everything but pissed it away for vanity's sake. Unless you are a PRO and wining numerous awards and going to shows and taking in a ton of money; but I bet you aren't so take a step back and re-evaluate where you are headed. My wife wants me to share some of her dessert; I take a few bites because it's about give and take and because I have no illusions of being on stage. If my wife wants to go somewhere; I fkn go because the gym is not going anywhere and I can make up my workout just as easy.
Well said Mack.
exactly mate.
tupperware. premix your shakes, put in bottle, take with you. boiled eggs, i always have 12 in fridge, peeled ready to go, pack with you. preety simple.
Just bring a bag with you at night with a few chicken breasts in it and a zip lock with protein powder and a bar or 2 in case you wind up sleeping somewhere else. whats the big deal? Carbs are easy to find if you go out no need to pack those maybe some spinach IDK. Just get OJ and club soda at bars, and if people get food late night you can go to town ordering or hit up your chicken or protein as supplement.
Being too obsessive and always worrying about muscle wasting away actually causes more catabolic responses. Enjoy yourself, bust a chicken breast out of your pocket once in a while and give everyone a good laugh, nobody cares. If you love this girl don't be so self obsessed, real relationships are about giving. Not 50% 50%, but 100% 100%
Getting meals is relativity easy anyway just plan for protein and scavenge for carbs if you need them, or go without. You gotta be able to have fun and invest in other peoples lives, whats the point of being jacked up if your just all about yourself? My wife will usually ask me if we've been out for a while if I wanna stop for food or she'll keep a shake or some meat in her bag for me and I'll down it like a savage real quick wherever we are.
Having kids makes it easier too, they eat like every 2 hours, so you just follow their lead.
Maybe your place? Obviously there's prolly a reason you end up at her place, I would go with my mentors below and pack food. Let her know your meal schedule AND how long it's gonna be till you're off cycle and can be a little more lenient. Just some thoughts. Good luck bro hope it all works out. Love is special, and I know first hand it can be lost from neglect. Just like your gains, if you don't nurture your relationship...
I just make it clear to my boy friends that I don't skip meals .. I take shakes and food with me just in case I can't get somewhere to eat.. when I spend the night some place I take protein with me and what I need to make a shake.. is there a reason why you can't have shake stuff at her place? Love me love my lifestyle ...
RustyhookerBelongs in offtopic
I know what you're aiming at. Just went thru similar a while back. Reality, just prepack tupperware. Chicken lasts long time, low fat and protein dense. Oatmeal, great complex carb, never goes bad and easy to make. If she loves you then she will understand that your atlas body didn't come cheap. My lady likes me bulky and saw my food prep. Next thing i know she's feeding me before its a concern. Be prepared. Plan ahead. Life life to the fullest!