How to Run a Cycle in the Joint, Volume 3: Chapter 3: Mariposa
Walking the streets of Tijuana can be a little nerve racking when you are a lone Gringo. I had done it a few times, in most instances just to skip over the border to go to the Pharmacias. This time was different. I had absolutely no fear. After surviving La Mesa, TIjuana City felt like Mayberry North Carolina.
Normally the locals will mess with a Gringo and the kids will try to sell you a chicklets and shit...
It was different for me now. I don’t know if it was my confidence or if that look in my eyes gave out its own warning.
When a man is on a mission to kill another man, his eyes take on a darkness. It’s hard to explain. It’s a scary look, I saw it a few times in La Mesa and it chilled me to the bone every single time I saw it. The only thing scarier than looking into that darkness...is looking yourself in the mirror and seeing the darkness in your own eyes.
I needed a place to crash, get my bearings and make a plan.
I knew there was decent housing on the coast so I headed west on foot with a heavy ass .357 single action Ruger Blackhawk tucked in the back of my pants. Holy shit, it didn’t take long before I regretted the hell out of grabbing that gun. It was heavy, uncomfortable and almost impossible to hide under the tight ass soccer shirt that Jesus gave me.
After a few blocks of my Dad’s gun rubbing through my skin, I pulled of the shirt, wrapped the gun up and carried that bitch.
Now, I don’t like to brag, but I am a big sonofabitch. Especially when compared to the average man in Tijuana. I didn’t make it three blocks until the cars started honking and the people started yelling.
Mariposa!! Mariposa!!! Mariposa!!!
It was a little nerve racking because I knew what that shit meant.
Once again, I end up getting shit for the butterfly tat on my lower back. FYI, right below that butterfly tat are the words “No Homo” so don’t be getting any shitty ideas. People from TJ are assholes. In the US, people appreciate a good, tastefully done tattoo.
I had enough of that bullshit, so I flagged down the first cab that I saw, jumped in and said: “ llevame a la costa”.
I was on my way.
All my love, no homo
Ed’s
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This is turning into a masterpiece! No homo
I think you ought to print up a few hundred copies and place them on the bedside tables of all the Hotel 6's and Thunderbird Hotel's in your area. It'll be an overnight sensation as tweaked out truckers and hookers spread the book across the country.
Lol. It will be like a ministry of some sorts. I like where you are going with this.
Edeons Bible.
I think the important takeaway from this chapter is the textbook application of “no homo”. In tattoo form nonetheless... flawless.
The no homo guidebook Chapter 18 section 4b states:
Whenever self deprecating humor involves an Inherent homoerotic reference especially in Tattoo form, there must be a follow up No Homo tattoo, All capitalized, bold, clearly imprinted in New Times Roman font to secure no homo status.
So yeah, I felt it was an appropriate coverup.
lol
Molinin302Lol, bro. I'm too lazy to print all these out. Will this eventually wind up on Amazon in novel form? Softcover of course.
Of course. There will also be a Coffee table hardbound version as well.
10/10 would buy. I don’t read a lot but every time I start reading his shit I wish there was more.
That needs a No Homo
That is correct. This is clearly spelled out in Chapter 17 of the No Homo Guidebook.
Nice catch.
ED, I believe I've said it before and I'll say it again-You have one helluva creatively genius mind! Be well my friend!
Thanks brother. Good to see you around. I hope all is well.
Theo my brother. Nice to see you around. Hope all is well
What is up brother Fuse? Hope all is well with you also my friend!
Is this an autobiography?
I started a book group a few years ago.
I think I’m still the only member..
You should combine these into a short story and see if you could get it published.
My favorite Steven King book was a short story called Apt Pupil.