posted Sat, 09/03/2022 - 19:41
2610
+ 1 How to get my life back... life almost got me, now its my turn
ad
Title says it all... I was on top and smashing weights, then my little brother is murdered followed by my dad passing from covid few months later then gma,aunt,big cousin and almost me. I dropped from a happy jacked 230lbs to a depressed frail 185lbs currently. No matter what I do I can't eat. Appetite is nonexistent, that determination to go kill weights in the gym everyday is gone... barely go 2x a week and am embarrassed to lift. Today I looked in the mirror and snapped -- I need any help with tips for easy meals, quick bulks, motivation people to research, gear to try... any help is appreciated.
- Bookmark
- 1
- 0
I'm sorry to read about your brother.
I'm sorry about ur dad, and extended family.
Mind your headspace. That's where its at.
Mind yourself.
Watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at-fpCODF4I&list=RDCMUCaFw9cH80hvRyLaxBB...
David is a unique person. His calmness when telling you to get up and do shit is intense. I've made it thru almost a week now, and I'm lacing up my shoes now and gonna head in and throw on some headphones, pull over my hoodie and talk shit to myself... sounds dumb but its working. At this point Its my last resort...
PropheticWookieThe main thing is that you work and help you, this is the most important thing, as it seems to me.
Get some good gear in ya lad - Test / NPP and Dbol and go hit it
Many times Covid will kill your appetite and give you severe fatigue. Usually it gets better in a few weeks to months. It took me a solid month to get my appetite and energy back.
Be patient and do what you can.
I lost my appetite when they put me in ICU for 5 days because my throat was swollen shut and I couldn't talk or swallow anything. Had to spit my saliva in a cup because I couldn't swallow it. Had me hooked up to IV to keep fluids in me because I obviously couldn't drink anything either. Still can't taste or smell anything and that is a real drag on the appetite. Eating is not real enjoyable when you can't taste or smell it, becomes more of chore.
I’m sorry about that. You just never know how things will be with this virus. I’m glad you’re on the mend!
Have you tried the burnt orange thing? I've heard of a few people to have success with that
My God that is horrific mate!! This was all from Covid? They say it either infects you in the nose or throat as the virus punctures into the lining, I'm sure it got me in the throat also as the razor blade sore throat was the first proper symptom I got. Was so sore I didn't even want to drink. There are various therapies you can do where your body re learns to smell and taste things if they completely go. Is it quite a few months they have been gone now?
The throat issue was when I had active covid. I then developed pneumonia and fluid buildup around my heart as a result of covid that had them concerned. Been about 5 weeks now and still can't taste/smell.
I find the appetite loss the worst part of it all, because whilst you cannot eat psychologically the whole experience feels 10 times worse especially when you know your body is burning away muscle for fuel at a fast rate. I looked into why all this happens - and its because when you become extremely ill your brain chemistry changes and the thought processes alter for a period of time. Anything that causes the body to use and expend unnecessary energy such as digesting food it no longer lists as a priority as it wants all of its energy to fight the virus invading it. You would think it still wants the energy it gets from food but I guess it prefers to feed on itself lol
That seems to make sense. It’s been very frustrating. Didn’t get it for 2 1/2 years and then my mother-in-law came to our house with it. She knew she had it and told us it was “allergies”. Just love her!
PropheticWookieYes, a very unpleasant disease. Many say vitamin b12 will speed up recovery.
I had it pretty mild, as far as traditional symptoms go. Mainly loss of appetite and fatigue. My appetite still isn’t 100% after almost 2 months, but it’s getting better. Almost 100% with my energy.
My wife also got it and she got it bad and was almost hospitalized. You just never know.
The second time I got it I also got the complete loss of taste and smell sides, I thought that was all made up until it actually happened!! That in itself made me feel extremely disorientated for around 10 days especially when I first woke up on a morning. I know of a girl who went blind in one eye for 6 months but then her vision came back, frightening stuff.
You just never know. Some of the symptoms can be very scary.
My wife just said she’s feeling “normal” again and it’s been over 2 months.
I wrote a long response the other night and accidentally deleted it before I could finish and leave it in the comments.
Condolences. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
Its darkest before dawn. You won't feel this way forever.
How much knowledge/experience do you have and are you open to discussing the benefits that have resulted for people who tried plant medicine? Traditional medicine. Maybe the oldest medicine/antidepressent on earth? I'll vouch for the benefits myself and would be happy to share my own personal experience if you're interested and open to it. Humans have been using psilocybin/ayahuasca/peyote for example for thousands of years. For many reasons. With many benefits. Studies at Harvard... ok... HARVARD, not some hippy new age untested loons testing this stuff... Harvard professors/PhDs /psychotherapists have done tests with these substances to treat PTSD, depression brought on by end of life cancer, anxiety, drug addiction, trauma etc...
9 out of 10 people who participated in these studies with psilocybin.... stated that the experience they had was one of the most, if not the most significant experiences of their lives. Comparable to the birth of a child, near death experiences etc.
With all my heart/soul I would suggest you research these medicines, their historical uses and benefits as modern medicine.
If you're open to the idea and would like me to suggest some further literature or documentaries etc, I'm happy to.
Either way... God bless. You'll get through this and be a stronger person bc of it. The best thing for you tho is some therapy. One of these experiences can be like 10/20 years of therapy in a few hrs. It can/ will bring you some peace/resolve
I am always open to self medication. Being in my position throughout the wifes and mines families I am the go to guy, I dont have time to stop and grieve I need to be guard up and ready to roll at a times. People don't see this as its been the norm for the last 30 years, breaking down now is not a option.
The strategy for dealing with all that shit you're dealing with... People tend to bottle it, ignore it, don't think about it and strive on, alot of the time emotions are bottled and come out eventually in unhealthy ways. Or... Some people go to therapy which can be good if you can find a good therapist. That's actually pretty hard and can be really expensive.
I'd recommend you look into psilocybin and/or mama assisted therapy. You'll often hear people compare it to 20 years of therapy in just a few hrs. If done correctly
https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk
https://youtu.be/-NAPn1MOEIw
YOU CAN!!!! YOU WILL!!! YOU MUST!!!
YOU CAN!!!! YOU WILL!!! YOU MUST!!!
YOU CAN!!!! YOU WILL!!! YOU MUST!!!
My condolences. I've lost parents when I was a child, have no family, and had my children's mother cheat,lie in court, take them forever and stick me with a bill to pay monthly without seeing their loving faces and hear their voices. I CAN!!!! I WILL!!! I MUST!!! KEEP GOING! GET BETTER! BE BETTER! I CANT QUIT! I WONT QUIT! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!
WHEN I REACH MY GOALS, I WILL MAKE NEW ONES!!!
I make a DAILY schedule and follow it! Regardless of how I feel, regardless if I'm tired, regardless if there is time, regardless if I'm hungry, regardless if I hurt. I FOLLOW IT NO MATTER WHAT! I CAN!!!! I WILL!!! I MUST!!!
Theres two kinds of people in the world. Those who are broken by life. And those who are molded by life. This is easy...think what would your brother want you to do? What would your dad want you to do? Whatever the answer is. Do that.
(I can't imagine the answer being "my dad and brother would want me to sit around and waste away.)
The crazy thing is thats who I was... 6-7 days a week training, always motivated and the motivator to others. Keep pushing, don't stop, grind mf grind!!! Dad would say sit back hand me a beer and the remote, brother would say you go to gym to much... He was 19 just beginning life so he wanted to be out exploring.
I definitely understand what your saying. I made it to the gym 3 times this week, I even tried to talk shit to the bar as I was about to pull my deads getting pumped then... the weight laughed at me. I still pulled my 5x2 but since when did 455 seem so heavy???
Appetite still not there but added in a shake or two...
Bud when ya start leaving Deads for over a month the bastards soon start to feel heavy Lol What use to be warm up weights ramping up now become maxes for a while leaving you with that shitty winded feeling afterwards. It soon gets better week on week though, and so does the unique cardio required for them!
Well said bud.
I understand this post. For me, I used loss as a form of drive, I was angry, I would lift and the thought would keep running through my head. When I felt tears coming, I would lift harder so you couldn't tell if it was tears or sweat coming down my face, I was fueled by pure rage. But this isn't a healthy outlet, being consumed by rage, anger, sadness, guilt, etc was self destructive in a way.
The way back may not be directly through the gym, it seems like you need to focus on health of your mind and your body. So here's a different view of things, maybe try finding a physical hobby, boxing for example or rock climbing, something that requires you to be strong, your trips to the gym may feel more focused this way as well.
Most of all, enjoy life, don't be afraid to be happy (if this is a thing for you), live life for those you lost, live as if they are living through you and sharing your experiences, eat their favorite foods with passion, eating chicken and broccoli every day will just make you more depressed, makes me depressed just thinking about it.
Good luck brother, you're not alone.
I really appreciate this, trust me tears are present if not for one then the other then it turns to a session of all of them. Find myself taking extra restroom breaks to "blow my nose from allergies"...
My family has issues with hearts, cousin was ony a year older and heart stop out of blue... no signs @47.
Gotta work on my health and definitely a little mental issues as well...
Out of interest buddy which way did you go in the end - Did you continue with powerlifting or change to bodybuilding after one of your previous posts?
Never got into a groove, setback after setback and I just withered away... today is day 3 that I'm managing to stay on track. Tonight is chest so I will try and work on mental aspects.
Make your self eat bro, Throw some weights around. The gym is therapy for the soul for me when life beats me down. You got this man! life has tossed me around like a bag of dog food but the one consistancy that keeps me going is gym therapy. Keep your head up brother!!
Man I'm tryin... meal prepped small meals for this week and workin on getting them all down going back to some ol 531 and taking it one session at a time.
Hell yeah brother! I've had some hard days here lately too, nothing like what your going through, but fuck it sure makes it hard to the protien and groceries down, some days its easier to just keep slamn the protien shakes. I love this group man its a life line on the dark days, I keep coming back some days I camp out here all day.
PropheticWookieI had been ill with covid and then acute thrombophlebitis covered me. I lay half ventilated and did not get up for three months. Turned into a fat pig. Take a step every new day, more than yesterday and do not cling to the past.
Day by day... step by step, im few days in so far.
PropheticWookieEveryone is right and it should be
Dude let's do it. We are with you !
Started this week, yesterday legs tomorrow chest and trying to eat in between.
What breaks who we were creates opportunity to build who we will become. The weight you lift won't matter as much as the stress you lift from getting back to it. Gotta go in no doubt no hesitation. Everyone goes through there own trials so I wouldn't begin to try and compare. I feel for you brother. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and only the strongest get tested the hardest. Idk anything about you so Idk if you'll dig it but wes Watson lit a fire under my ass when I was in a bad place and always got me ready to go get it in. Endure and push bro. You fuckin got this!
3 months ago i had to make the hardest decision of my life
I walked into the vet with my best friend and after laying on the floor with him crying like a baby as the doctor put the needle into him i cried and cried ad i held him until the doctor said he is gone. The bet left and i stayed kn that floor all bymyself , my dog never gave up on me it was his body that fell apart. I cry every fucking day. When i get home from work he is not there. When i go to bed he isnt next to me , I live my life now wondering if i made a mistake if the vet was wrong. If god would of only gave me more time with him. I know about not eating cause my stomach and mind are a reck. Im mad every day that god made me make that decision, If god wanted him so bad why did i have to make that painful choice. Was he suffering yes and i hope everyday dabm day i made the right choice. But that dog saved my life over the years even after a 20 year divorce that dog meant more to me than anyone EVER ….. so tell me about loss cause brother i feel pain & suffer every fucking day I even find myself at the gym with tears in my eyes BUT i step forward as hard as it is. But hopefully get my appetite back one day
I feel your pain. Had to put my 13 yr old lab to sleep 2 wks ago.
Man that sucks. Sorry to hear that.
PropheticWookieI sympathize with you and accept my sincere condolences, man!
Great now my eyes are jacked and I'm supposed to be watching this movie with family...
I did that as well about 2 years ago. My boys not waking me up yo piss, not tackling me when I get home, waking me up with his sleep barking...
Same thing, layed with him while they doped him up and I cried us to sleep... still call out his name on accident sometimes. Its tuff man, I'm sorry.
Buddy you have made me feel upset reading that, its brought back memories of my last pet I had to take to the vet and have put to sleep. He was only 3 years old and a gineau pig so nowhere near as close as a dog could be - but he lived in the lounge with me and knew exactly how I felt all the time. Knew when to squeek and push it for food and when to leave it lol Animals when we lose them are so much worse than humans as animals never hurt or upset you, they only want to be fed and stroked so it cuts like a knife when a huge part of your life is gone. Just trust me mate that it will get better in time and you will begin to feel happier. It messed my head up for over a year and still does if I sit and think about him. I think if you are dog guy then you should get another when you feel ready Wanted, don't think that you are trying to replace him but just that you want that companionship again. If he was living in constant pain mate then you did the right thing, you know yourself if you are living in bad pain from an injury it ruins your life and happiness. You will be alright Bud
Thanks press. We all have so much in common. Thats why i love this site
RealizeRealLiesEither start now or Hate yourself more
Damm... truth.
RealizeRealLiesIve been here myself. You just have to keep moving in the right direction... some days suck. Some are spectacular
Time and baby steps. That’s a lot of trauma to process and it’s going to take time but humans are resilient. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t survive very long. We tend to slowly forget the bad times and remember the good. However, for some this can be the beginning of the end if you let it. Start small. Workout a few times a week for as long as you feel like it and keep upping it every week.
TricepatopsWhat you are going through is some very serious depression from loses in your life. Can you talk to someone or try to get some help. Asking for help is a strength and not a weakness and takes alot to do but in the end you will see everyone at some point had felt like you. Once the depression starts to lift you will be more apt to do stuff go to gym etc. But exercise is a great way to get endorphins up and help with the feelings.