+ 11 Fatherhood & Fitness - No More Weak Dads!
This question and opinions are targeted at all my guys who may feel stuck or overwhelmed. Especially those with kiddos on here- do you feel that fitness correlates with fatherhood?
Personally I feel that it’s the father’s role to lead by example. Everything from physical state, mentality, diet, etc. should be adjusted and applied to my loved ones.
I’ve fallen into that same lazy mindset of “I can’t find time to workout, eat right, or stay in shape! I have a full time job, kids, etc.” more times than I’d like to admit myself. It’s a pure bullshit copout. I’m not saying every dude has to be a jacked bodybuilder, but the majority of us have full time jobs and lots have families to care for. Even with that you can be efficient with 3x 1hr training days a week if you do it correctly. Everyone can find 3 spare hours over the week whether they think so or not.
When my buddies come to me saying stuff like this I’m disgusted as I see my own past weakness. It’s a bitch out and should lose respect. So many guys play a “sacrificial lamb” card excusing their laziness because they’re providing. If you’re out of shape you’re NOT showing up/providing in the capacity you should be for yourself and the ones around you.
Overall I believe that you need to be able to protect your family, be around a long time, set an example, and much more. All of these reasons have solidified why I think fitness correlates to fatherhood- what about y’all?
Bonus Question: Have you seen any changes (positive or negative) in your relationship with fitness since becoming a father?
No More Weak Dads!
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The last paragraph before it bonus question says r all brother… I’ma about to post my 4 month journey re intro pics I mean im so happy with the progress I’ve made alotta ppl are gonna say alotta bullshit about it but. Hey I’m A DIVORCED DAD! And my daughters mother is satan herself… so I know what I’ve accomplished in such a little time is overly impressive. Shit I might come back here sumday and post rh on this thread…. Dad first which means u HAVE TO CARE FOR URSELF… and I didn’t know that originally
Progress is progress man! The ones who have shit to say about people trying in the correct way are normally miserable themselves. You’ll get props here! Hard work shows itself.
Good to see you back.
Wish I could have kids.
I wanted to comment but i dont fit in.
--But i will say to the Dads that have daughters and are out of shape then you aren't showing up. Your daughter's boyfriend is going to slap her and tell her "call your dad, whats he going to do? Nothing!" Show up Dads!
Brother you are spot on! Fitness and fatherhood correlate like PB & J. Teaching your children how to live healthy and strong mentally and physically is more important than so many even realize and the longevity of life....being able to be there for your children as they grow into fatherhood and motherhood is equally if not even more important. Very well said man. +1
Very well said
For sure dude.
I raise my son by myself (with some help of his grandma/my mom), his mom/my wife died 10 years or so ago. The grind has been real. My boy used to play AAA hockey and club baseball, so we used to drive all over for tournaments. Its hard staying healthy when one is eating out multiple days a week and sleeping in shitty beds in hotel rooms. My boy has since moved to HS where its a lot easier on me, so I can focus a lot more attention on myself.
I'm super blessed though. My son refuses to eat junk food, has a high IQ, and is a super athlete (although he is getting bored with baseball and will probably quit after this season and primarily focus on hockey). The dude is 6 ft, 172 lbs as a fucking HS freshman. Grocery bills for both of us is easily $500 a week. He lifts with me once a week, and at school an additional day. Then he is doing 5-6 days a week in whatever sport he has going on. Id like to get him in the gym 1 more day a week but time is scarce. Him and his buddies are ultra-right wing, they watch 3rd Reich and Roman Empire docs & build drones on their free time. I actually have 4 of his buddies staying over night this weekend... there goes another $300 in food.
I think I am doing a decent job. I obviously made some errors along the way but what parent hasnt. When his mom died, I was drinking pretty heavily and smoking a lot of weed, my son wants nothing to do with either of those. He probably watched me act like a little depressive little bitch who used substances to cope then subconsciously said he wants nothing to do with that. With that said I would naive to think that he will never drink or experiment but for now it works.
To answer your last question, since I got my life back a track 4-5 years ago with eating and fitness, it definingly has a positive influence on both of us. He shares me his emotions, what happening at school, the problems he has with the girls he talking to etc... Being a health focused dad not only shows positive health reinforcement but it has helped immensely with the emotional side of our relationship. Crushing it hard in the gym has made me more patient as well, I dont find myself getting pissed off over the little things.
Your Story reminds me a little of my upbringing being raised just by my father when my mother decided to walk out on me as a young child, and get with a guy half my fathers age who was a complete arsehole. I look back now and think maybe I should of put more effort into my relationship with my Dad, but he was a man who was emotionally cold and held so much hatred and resentment for my mother, that it would often get directed straight at me unbelievably. That drove such a huge divide between us and made me not want to be around him.
It sounds as if you have a really good kid buddy, it must have been horrific on him to lose his mother at a young age. How did she pass if you don't mind me asking?
Suicide… after having our son she went into this weird psychotic thing. In and out of mental institutions. I was in the military at the time and was deployed overseas. While deployed, my wife was “stable” and thought she was “cured”. A person who is on multiple SSRIs and anti-psychotics who comes off everything immediately has a huge rebound affect, worse than when it started. The military threw me on a plane and sent me home. I finished my military contract and that was it for me.
Family first brother...you've struggled thru a lot and I'm sure it was extremely difficult. Your a good man brother and you've prevailed in so many ways. I have no doubt the impact on your son based off your decision will be everlasting.
Brother… that’s more than most people will ever understand. You were carrying deployment, a family crisis, and unimaginable loss all at once. Respect to you for coming home, stepping up for your son, and continuing forward through something that could have broken many men. That kind of weight leaves scars, but it also shows the kind of father and man you chose to be when it mattered most. Great work - all respect.
Ohh fuckin hell pal, so sorry to hear this. For sure there is definitely going to be a heavy rebound from being on things like that - I would of thought that someone in that kind of state of mind would of been in a facility coming off the medication to make sure she couldn't do something like that. Such a shame because as usual its the others left behind like you and you son that suffer the horrific upset and effects of what she has done. She was probably hallucinating and all sorts buddy. Frightening the way your mind works on medications and even alcohol - towards the end of my drinking career I was even walking through town so drunk during the day that I wondered if running in front of buses going by next to me would even hurt, thats when I began scaring myself and realised enough was enough and quit.
I do remember you having an account on here many years ago, I think we spoke a few times in the forums but that was about it. To say this place is just merely a steroid website, you can find a lot of unbelievably supportive people on here that you know would always pick up a phone day or night if you needed someone to talk to. Just because we talk in comments doesn't mean you can't gauge someones character well
Have you forgave your old man? Did you guys ever reunite? If not, I’m sorry man.
If he is still alive… there is still time
We get along brilliantly now mate, he's basically my best friend and confidant and I wish it hadn't taken so many years and things to get to this point later on in life - but hopefully we still have many years left that we can enjoy together. He has always been an extremely fit and healthy bloke who has never had any bad health habits and still goes to the gym three times a week as we speak. We have both grown as people in our time apart, he has eased and relaxed in life in general and now lives with another woman and her family abroad and I quit drink and trying to run and hide from things and became a lot more responsible and grown up. I try not to think too much of those years of old as underneath all that went on he is still a really decent and good guy.
Ironically, I was on Eroids when all this happened. The guys in here helped me out a lot. Then I erased the account because I was out of my mind and thought the govt was watching me. I thought they would see all my AAS purchases and pics. Etc
After a couple months, I calmed down, and opened a new account. The account I have now.
I’m gonna get on my soap box for a second because your situation is one that really pisses me off. I’m a civilian fed but work with plenty of vets who also go down my career path and see this all the time. Our government will bend over backwards to give hand outs, free food, health care, housing etc for lazy ass pieces of shit who just have a dozen kids and sit at home all day getting fat as fuck. Then we don’t do a goddamn thing for servicemen who sacrifice everything for nothing more than a sense of duty. Yall don’t want thanks. Yall don’t want recognition. You simply volunteer to serve because it’s “right.” Then we, as a country, toss you to the side when your body/mind is broken and can’t do it anymore and retire from service.
You have friends here and support would be offered should you ever need it.
Great work Dad!!!
Awesome post brother. Appreciate you sharing.
Brother. The strength it takes to raise a good son is something most people don’t understand
I truly believe that working out translates to mind set. That drive you have in the gym rolls over into life and the obstacles it through at you.
It’s also important as it is a lead by example mindset. Since I’ve been on this journey my son, dad and sister have been working out for years now. When my wife starts to feel unhappy with her body she asks me what to do. And when they stall or aren’t making the progress they desire they come to me. My younger daughters also like to imitate me and flex and also like to tell people” my daddy is strong”. It feels damn good.
The balance is hard tho. 10-12hr workdays plus 1hr30min commute one way. So yes it is a struggle to balance having a family plus working out but it is definitely possible. My schedule got switched to working over night once again throwing another obstacle my way but it still gets. Shit even when I had a cancer scare and was all fucked up it was getting done. During that time I told my son look most people hear they have cancer and breakdown. Not me fuck that! If this is it I’m fighting til the bitter fuckin end! It was to show him no matter what you have to keep pushing.
I’d say the only time it hinders time spent with children is when I get obsessed with hitting a PR. Powerlifting take more time then a bodybuilding type routine. Sometimes I have to pull back bc it takes time away from the family
But I’d say the thing that makes the difference is even tho working out plus working a lot take time away from the family, it how you spend that time you have with your family. Put the phone down, turn off the TV and truly be present when you are hanging out with them. Play whatever your kids want to play. Do what they want to do. Teach them about outer space, dinosaurs, animals. Look up cool facts about those things and talk about. Play board games, play cards game and build memories as a family.
I’ve come across a lot of people who use age and family as an excuse. Hey if that’s what they want to then fuck it. I can’t change them they have to want to change. I’ve been on both ends of that stick and I never want to go back to that lazy fuck. But hey if they are actually spending that time with their family and it’s quality time then they are doing great. It’s the lazy parent who are also half as parents that bothers me
I want my kids to be strong and healthy. There isn’t a better way to influence them than to lead by example.
Ever since Covid and getting hurt on a job site back in 2020, I quit testosterone cold turkey for a couple years. Had a couple kids, made excuses to not go to the gym due to work or kids l, being tired. Last year I was able to get prescribed TRT, started to feel alot better physically and mentally, I got back into the gym with my brother late at night after work and putting the kids to bed, this help me find by journey back into the gym and bodybuilding community. A couple months ago started to get back into a cycle. My health and the way I look feel like I’m 19 again! There is hope and will you just have to make the choice and go all in. My diet has changed completely as well. Blood work gets done frequently. I now stay in shape to keep up with my little ones, I don’t want to be the parent that doesn’t want to do anything or can’t do anything with them.
This hits hard because I’ve lived both sides of it.
I’ve been the version of myself that used responsibility as a shield — full-time job, stress, family, exhaustion, all the reasons that sound valid on paper. I’ve also been the version that realized those reasons don’t change reality. Your family doesn’t need your excuses. They need your standard.
When something really matters, we do it. We don’t suddenly lose the ability to make time — we stop pretending. Men found time for partying, drinking, scrolling, wasting weekends, and every other distraction. I know I did. For me, the shift came when I realized those party days and boozing were the loser’s life. Empty habits dressed up as fun, costing energy, time, money, health, and presence.
Fatherhood absolutely correlates with fitness to me — not because every dad needs abs or a bodybuilding trophy, but because fitness reflects discipline, energy, self-respect, resilience, and leadership. Kids watch what you do far more than what you say. If they see a man who keeps promises to himself, handles stress without folding, takes care of his body, and shows up with effort — that becomes normal to them.
Since becoming a father, fitness changed for me completely. It stopped being vanity and became duty. It’s not about chasing attention anymore. It’s about being strong enough, healthy enough, and steady enough to carry what matters. It’s about being present, capable, and setting a tone inside the house.
No dad will do it perfectly. Life gets busy. Seasons get hard. But too many men confuse being busy with being exempt. We still owe effort.
Training now means more than muscle. It means my daughter sees consistency. My family gets a better version of me. And I know when life asks something heavy of me, I’m ready to lift it.
Strong fathers build strong homes.
" It stopped being vanity and became duty."
The reality of being a dad happens immediately. One day you are with a woman, married or not, going to work, grinding, having fun, etc. The next minute you are watching a fucking human life come out of a vagina.. LIKE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!! Immediately a man learns that it is not about himself anymore, it only took a seconds to realize that.
You know what i find odd in today's society? The amount of fathers who abandon their children. Im not talking about the fathers who went through a rough divorce, and the woman fucked them in court, etc. I'm talking about the men who straight up want nothing to do with their kids. Once I watched my son's birth, there was something in my DNA that told me that it is my birthright to make my son bigger, stronger, faster, and smarter than I, if he wasn't given those abilities at birth, then it was my responsibility to give him all the OPPORTUNTIES to be better than me. That's the of the point of evolution. If every man made their sons and daughters better than themselves, the the human species would evolve dramatically....
We are 100% cut from same cloth.
Few years into sobriety I started journaling, more for my mental health & mental check ins. Realizing when spoke out loud thoughts can be brought back to haunt you.
Early in those journal days I wrote about knowing my life was “done”. Not a negative or miserable thought; it Was a surreal moment. I finally had a real reason, real motivation Knowing the only option was giving my “honest all”. That was like 2019/20 - mindset has only grown
I screenshot that shit to re-read when I'm acting like a little bitch ----. My girls coming along turned me from a you can't pay me enough to wake early for workouts to a up at 4am religiously to fuckin get it in person. My 5 year old was never a late sleeper, so half the time she's with me in the garage at 5am asking me 1000 questions while I try to answer them without passing out lol. But I know she sees me working hard, and I know she'll remember those 5am convos when she gets older. Absolutely fucking worth it.
absolutely understand the grind brother. somehow - something clicked for me, I always say I just woke up one day. reality is -once you know the correct answer- the wrong ones are very clear. my realization came 1 month before mine turned 3yr old. I realized I spent more of my birthdays & holidays obliterated - fucked up beyond control ; than I had spent sober holidays. instantly realizing I had spent every important day that far into fatherhood impaired. I was a fat -soft- drunk with more excuses than answers. realization is one fucking hard hit!
"I realized I spent more of my birthdays & holidays obliterated - fucked up beyond control"
I spent years, that I will never get back, doing the same. Always giving myself some garbage excuse.. "Its Christmas, who doesn't get drunk on Christmas"... like no one!!
In hindsight, it was probably a learning lesson for yourself and your kids. My son obviously saw that is the incorrect way, and now I dont do those things. Interestingly enough, I always hear about alcoholics/addicts who have to use discipline not to go back to the life, I've had zero urge to get drunk or high. Its like eating garbage food... when you stop, french fries taste like shit now.
Glad to hear your son saw the impact and change. I am the only man in my linage that is/was not an alcoholic. I can understand how watching my father impacted me- rather him not changing or having the mindset too.
Watching and teaching the kids & seeing them grow and grasp reality is so fucking awesome!
Awesome!
Damn - Well said mate!!
You are one of those guys on here that doesn't go around filling the forums constantly with comments as such, But when you do say something its Profound!!
Brother this is a subject I really feel is important, yet not enough "social" talk.
In other news! my new cage with cables arrived, Im heading home for an early "fuck off Friday" and get it assembled.
I remember in youth Two-a-days----dreading them!!!! lol- now my old ass is planning one tmw for fun in the sun!!!!!
HAHA Nice one mate!! Have you got a bench you can slide into it also? No way you can train without having a cage if you like to bench and squat.
NICE ONE BUDDY!!
Beautifully said. Thank you for your input brother man! Keep it up! I 100% agree and know the kiddos see it too.
I hope this gives drive to others that inevitably fall into the same pattern.