Brother, my farts are fricken horendous due to my protein intake. I swear everytime I fart when I'm in my office, sure as shit I always have someone stop by, I know they smell it, but they don't say anything, so I try to talk to them as long as possible so that they can really take it all in. I'll usually tell them a story just so they can suffer, I can tell that they are trying to leave but I don't care. I figure if you aren't going to have the balls to call me on it, well then you might as well suffer through it.
As far as my wife goes, well when I first got married, I tried to keep her from suffering, but as time has gone on, and I see that she is in it for the long haul, well I don't hold back. The stinkier the better. I know, I'm sick but I don't know why I enjoy it. I might need to get some help.

I was in line at the local grocery store last week and I slipped one out not thinking it was going to make any noise and It was one of the loudest ones I have ever released. The guy in front of me just turned around real slow and looked me dead in the eye and said "son... was that a challenge?". I have never laughed so damn hard.

I have done the Dutch Oven to my wife. She punched the crap out of me. Those bony little hands of hers hurt when they are pounding your ribs. Funny thing though I would do it again just for the laugh

I've crop dusted two complete isles at Safeway!! With18 egg whites on board!!!! Bad bad bad thick cloud dry heaving stuff!! Lol

Nothing is better than a good old crop dust then hearing people you don't know is the distance go "oh gaawwwdd""

Hold them in and let it build up for a more devestating explosion.

I eat quite a bit of legumes, oats, eggs, brn rice, and high fiber type foods. One day I made my bb chilli I have posted the recipe b4, and this one guy at work (working outside btw) said to me I knew you were somewhere close even tho I cudn't c ya. I was seriously like twenty ft away. Damn tho that day they were like the eye watering hangers that basically cling to ur nose hairs I swear my jeans smelled like a fart that evening and the bad gas had already passed. It dont stop me tho, pot of my bb chilli on the stove right now. This batch shud be a good one? F the guys at work I get called stinky and everything else, f it who cares? Tomorrow I'll be havin 12 hard boiled egg whites and 2 batches of my chili, I shud be good and ripe plus oats w/ the eggs. I think it's funny when there all like I cant even work around you... I am a supervisor, I just say go home pussy, but ur ol' lady will love the reason ur not bringin as big of a paycheck home this week? I am a bit of an asshole tho? no pun intended

You need to do like Peter Griffin and fart when your in an elevator with only one other person. After you fart you look at them and say, "It was you".

I pretty much fart 24/7!!!!! My 10 yr old thinks its hilliarios!! Wifey not so much!!

LOL
Ppffffftt... Just Farted.. =)

I blame the dog a lot. Not sure anyone ever believes me but it's a plan and I'm sticking to it..

I eat liver tabs. and i get them all the time.. whats the alternative ?... holding them in ..lol...

not for me...

i'm having such severe gas recently now that's i've majorly increased my caloric intake. i can't sit around ripping ass at work (in an office) so i just feel so frekin bloated all day. it's horrible...

The way to do it bro, is when she's asleep, pull the covers over her head and fart - that my friend is called a dutch oven

LOL..in my house its terrible bro with both of us on hi-P diets...its like living on a farm and we have NO friends whatsoever..nobody ever calls round cos they just cant hack the stench... #FUCK EM!