As some of you may have noticed, I have been gone for the last couple of months.
“Holy Shit Ed, where were you?”
Well, kids let me explain. It’s a sensitive subject so I tell you all this under the assumption that you fellow eroiders will respect me enough to not make light of my situation.
For all of my adult life, I have been plagued with a serious pre-mature ejaculation problem. No shit, one wrong bump and it’s all over for me. Just the other day I was drinking a bottle of water and I came in my pants.
“Oh Shit Ed, I never would have guessed!”
I know kids, one would think that one as perfect as me wouldn’t have this kind of problem, but to you I say…No man is perfect. Not even Edward Tallahassee Powers.
“Damn Ed, what did you do?”
Well, kids as you know, I’m a man of action. I don’t sit around and let my problems run my life, I let my life run my problems.. That’s right I run that shit right out the door.
I made the executive decision to get circumcised.
“Oh shit Ed, you weren’t circumcised when you were a baby?”
No kids, I wasn’t. I was born in the Kentucky backwoods and back there a circumcision would prove fatal to a little baby. Especially with the size of cut that they would have to make to clean up my turtle neck.
So fast forward to a couple of months ago….
After searching through the yellow pages, I find this place located in Chinatown called “Circumcisions are us.” It’s a nice place, clean, pretty hot Asian chicks working there, and the Doctor/Chef seemed to know what he was doing. (Yes, the place also doubled as a Chinese Restaurant. So I knew it would be clean.)
I walk in for my consultation and the little man, while stirring his wok full of Kung Pow chow chicken tells me to drop my pants. So I drop my pants (While eating an egg roll, no homo) and ask Dr. Master Chef Wong what he thought and he said: “Oh damn Ed!” He then laughs and says under his breath:”And I thought I was Asian.” (Don’t know what he meant by that.)
At any rate, I came back a couple of days later and for $29.99 got cut and sent on my way.
“Damn Ed, did it hurt?”
You bet your ass it hurt. I really didn’t know what I was getting into. On my way out of the office, the nurse says to me in her best Asian accent: “Don’t love your self for long time! HA HA” (You know that bitch used that line before.)
Now back to Eroids….
So I come back, hoping to have a good time and as luck would have it, it was wifey day.
Holy shit kids! First, let me say thank you for showing me your wife’s big hairy bagina. That shit was dope and I totally respect her more for it. Lol.
But damn kids, for reals… boners are out of the question after a procedure like that!
So I took a break. Now I am back. I hope you are all doing good.
“Damn Ed did your wiener heal?”
You bet your ass it did!
“Damn Ed did that cure your pre-mature ejaculation problems?”
You bet your ass it did. Just yesterday I finished a bottle of water.

All my love, no homo
Ed.