7gothic's picture
7gothic
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+ 1 STEROID CYCLE FOR POLICE OFFICERS (police ONLY)

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ATTENTION::: IF YOU ARE NOT A POLICE OFFICER, PLEASE LEAVE THIS POST IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS TOP-SECRET POLICE SHIT, THAT YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A POLICE OFFICER--JUST A LOSER CIVILIAN.

OK...Now that all the 2nd class, dirtbag eroids members are gone, I want to talk to just you guys...the good guys.
BFG took a poll a while back and found that we have several officers here on eroids. If you missed the poll, please post your name, rank and department below. Your information will be kept confidential......I promise.

Now look, I know in the past I may have said some things that pissed you off, but that was just for show. I don't want these juice heads thinking I'm not cool. Trust me, I actually like you guys, and if it wasn't for my parole officer stepping in the way, I'd actually be a cop myself. But every time I ask him about it, he just gives me a dirty look.
He's such a prick.
I mean who wouldn't want a job with great pay, unlimited pussy via intimidation, all the drugs you can steal, and cash payoffs that would make a politician blush---all under the cover of union protection?

But being a cop isn't easy. Beating on homeless vets..roughing up prostitutes, and yelling at children jaywalking can take a toll. The stress put on your lower back by surfing porn in your cruiser while eating box after box of Krispy Kremes can only be equaled by the stress placed on your knees from servicing your chief who would like nothing more than another notch in his size 46 belt.

Anyway, if you're a cop and not on steroids, you NEED to be. Mainly because you're not going to fit in very well with your other cop friends, but also because it's tough out there. You need a strong chest for punching handcuffed women...powerful legs for stomping tased and dazed drunks.... and ripped arms to intimidate even the mouthiest 5th grader who thinks he's a badass. And while I'm not a police officer, I have had my ass whipped by police officers, and I know how sore your feet must get from all that kicking---even if you do have the help of 8 or 9 other cops. So I've decided to put together a cycle just for Law Enforcement officers. A cycle that will give you massive bulk. A cycle that will make you super strong. A cycle that will tell the public.."HEY, I'M A COP.....AND YOU'RE NOT---BITCH".

OK...The first thing you need is a picture of Ronnie Coleman in uniform posted in your locker. It'll give you great motivation, and you'll have an idea of just how big of an asshole a cop can really be (well, at least physically, I mean). Hang it right next to the 8x10 glossy of Janet Reno---the one you jack off to.

Next, make a trip to the evidence room. Hopefully most of the other officers in your department are even bigger pussies than you, and were too afraid to steal any gear from the last steroid bust, and just took the weed instead.
You're going to need orals...lots and lots of orals. We don't want to mess with injectables, because that would require a needle, and we both know you don't have the balls to shoot yourself......an unarmed child holding a cellphone maybe...but not yourself.
Look for Anadrol 50, D-bol, Winstrol, and Valium. Yeah, I know...I know... people are going to say that Valium isn't a steroid. Fuck them. Who are you going to listen to...Me, who knows everything, or some stupid-ass Google search?

Now.... Take 35 tablets of each one...every day. Don't worry about PCT...This cycle is designed to keep your levels high until your next cycle rolls around, so you should be good to go. If any of your fellow officers suspect something and threaten to tell on you, simply do the same thing that officers all over America do---corner him in the locker room and tell him that cops in prison--even the innocent ones who were set up--aren't very popular unless they're one of Charlie's Angels.

With your new, massive body, and even bigger ego, you should have no problem scaring even more people that you already do. You'll feel better knowing that no matter what nursing home you walk into...no matter what sorority party you crash....no matter how quick that next skateboarder is...you WILL be in charge.
I've had great success with other officers using this cycle, and I have posted links below showing one of my test subjects in action. He makes me so proud, I almost get a tear in my eye every time I see these clips.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GgWrV8TcUc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FedlpshJb4c&feature=related

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*[The preceding was for entertainment purposes only. 7gothic is a dumbass who in no way advocates the use of steroids, good drugs, Krispy Kremes, or porn, and has nothing but love and respect for the honest, hardworking men and women who dedicate their lives to public service as police officers and prostitutes].

press1's picture

Man this guy was Funny as F*** ......

shaun1's picture

Dude if that would have been my son I would have went to jail because that cop would have ate a set or trucks clouds and all.

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7gothic's picture

Glad you enjoyed.... and I always think, if I ever get busted, THIS is the post they'll read in court to ensure that I get the max sentence.. Smile

Roid Noid's picture

Funny but that is the reality of it....stacks of paperwork on everything youve done and wrote on here yet they take something like this to put the nail in coffin....

DragonDog's picture

Honorable Judge Whitey will most certainly look to throw the book and his box full of used, crusty, blood and cum filled kleenexes at you. Me, I would shake your hand and ask if you want take a couple puffs before we walk out of the courthouse in a haze of glory. Err, no HOMO.

7gothic's picture

I'll take a puff any time you offer one.. Smile

Goose24's picture

LMFAO!!!!

House's picture

This is officer House. I am going to act like i never seen this post as long as everyone sends me there stash ;)

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PIN_CUSHION's picture

who dedicate their lives to public service as police officers and prostitutes].

Lmao!!!

7gothic's picture

Long time no see brother... Hope you're doing well.

PIN_CUSHION's picture

All is well. Not been too active posting lately. I like when these old posts get ressurected. First time reading this one. Was a good laugh. I found the closing line quite comical. I've not seen that video either. I could not take that cop serious. I was laughing at how stupid he souded. It was like watching a Reno 911 episode.

bolt781's picture

This is magic!!! Bump

7gothic's picture

My days as a MOD here were the funnest ever

bolt781's picture

Brother I have been hahaha. Goth and Ed...some of the best literature I've read in too long. Entertaining to say the least! I'm almost inclined to bump all of their posts but will leave it to the guys that have actual interest in digging through such an informative site...

7gothic's picture

Thank you brother... i used to drink heavily, so Friday nights were always blog time for me...:)

bolt781's picture

There needs to be an alert on this site for future blogs by you brother!

cowboy516's picture

I keep it simple TEST 750Mg/DECA 400mg aweek also 40mg dbol aday.

7gothic's picture

Since it seems that our nations law enforcement officers have been very, very, VERY busy lately, I thought I might bump this old post as my way of contributing to the fight against drugs---and other shit that shouldnt be illegal.

7gothic's picture

LOL....I am indeed.

alayna's picture

I really needed a good laugh today seriously! that was fuckin hysterical...its strange how there's always truth in humor or vice versa...

cltleo's picture

I didn't see getting out of speeding tickets in your list....THIN BLUE LINE

cltleo's picture

I think Ronnie went to Dunkin Donuts....free coffee and donuts

dandog's picture

I swear to God, eroids has the most freaking intelligent people in all the internet. Most people think that people that take steroids are just meat heads but in my time here in the forums I have found that the opposite is true. This post is a work of beauty. Wow wow wow. Call me impressed. A+++ on the writing. Wow.

kodiakGRRL's picture

needed a good laugh today and this was it ..bumped for the new guys

oversteerisbest's picture

thnx, hadn't seen it and it had me rolling. Might get me in trouble at work :-/

7gothic's picture

FOR ANY POLICE OFFICERS, FIREFIGHTERS, SNITCHES, OR OTHER GANG MEMBERS WHO FIND THAT THEIR FEELINGS ARE HURT BY THIS POST, PLEASE SEE YOUR UNION REP AND FILE A GRIEVANCE---JUST LIKE YOU DO ANY OTHER TIME YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO BE OFFENDED. IF I'VE OFFENDED YOU, THEN THAT MEANS I'VE DONE MY JOB. OTHERWISE, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THE ENTIRE POST AND REALIZE THAT THIS WAS A JOKE-----THE TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU'RE NOT USED TO HEARING IT, DOESN'T IT.

oversteerisbest's picture

I diverted from the cop path a while back and having nothing but respect for the good cops, but for those motherfuckers out there who do the kinda shit you mentioned above, yeah they really do need to eat 35 anadrol a day.

jimmie's picture

Oh no lol... let me start by saying I'm not supporting that percentage of cops who are assholes, who take their feeling of power and use it in the wrong way. I have been harassed by dickhead pigs, I've also been let go by really cool dudes with badges. My biological father, who I just met and never new existed, is a cop, one of the good ones. There are plenty of bad ones, I know that. But I gotta call you out on this one. Rodney King deserved every part of that "beating". I don't know if you know all the details of that night. That video was just the ending of the events he started. High speed chase, drunk, coke in his system. Fought his way out of the car, attacked the cops, tazed, got back up and rushed the cops again. Screw him, I would of loved to have gotten a hit in.
That's my rant. Sorry I had to! LOL

Go Patriots. Kick off in an hour and a half. Hopefully I won't be too hungover tomorrow for the gym.

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7gothic's picture

.

jimboe85's picture

Wow....that shit is funny....bro you ever think about doing a youtube series. Like a talk show or suttin....? I think ppl would watch. That seriously is some funny shit

manbearpig's picture

there was another time also when 2 detectives from a drug task force team came over to my friends apartment. he told them to leave at the door, and they still intimidated him to let them enter. he told them to leave while they were talking in the house half a dozen times. they stayed and aggressively argued with him until they found weed. that too is bullshit

manbearpig's picture

i officially fucking hate cops... on friday night i was driving a drunk friend home in his brother's car. the lights on his car did not work. so i got pulled over cause it was dark after driving 3 blocks. it was my first time being pulled over and i thought for fucking sure that i was going to get a ticket with a big ass fine or something. NOPE.. my passenger gets pulled out of the car and Breathalyzed. he gets an MIP being 20 yrs old. i did tell the officer none of us were drinking. im fucking pissed.

Nitti's picture

I dont know how I missed this but I just spit water everywhere and been crackin the fuck up for 10 minutes straight!

WINNING's picture

It doesnt say mod on your tag?

7gothic's picture

No officer. Every paragraph of my post contains truth on some level. And the truth can hurt when you're not used to hearing it.
Are you a cop??? Because you seem almost offended.

7gothic's picture

Do you really think they give a fuck about you? Sorry pal no they dont. They have bigger fish to fry,

Oh...you mean like punching skateboarders, tasing 9 year olds, and enforcing weed laws?

See, cops are assholes-----but they don't become assholes because of the stress of their job----they were already an asshole. That's why they became a cop.
Now as an officer yourself, I'm sure you don't like it whenever one of you is exposed for kiddie rape, corruption, taking bribes, beating motorists, dealing drugs, or planting a gun on a toddler after you've just shot it, but you have to understand that no matter how many cool cop shows try to portray you as heroes, most people still know that you're really just a frustrated crossing guard who went through hell in high school.
By the way, your use of aggressive profanity is appalling and a blatant violation of section 45:23 of the Eroids Revised Code. I'm afraid that as the chief law enforcement officer on duty tonight, I have no choice but to write a citation and ban you for a day. If you have any questions, please see Captain Grrrl, Sgt. Stedanko or our beautiful dispatcher Tread for a copy of the report.
And I have mice....and I'm not afraid to use it.