Hi All.

I thought I'd pass on a conversation I had with a Mate of mine at the gym today.

Today was the first time I've been able to VISIT the gym since my surgery almost 10 weeks ago. I did NOT work out, so before any of you Mates get on my case for not listening to your previous advise or my Mrs, again, today I WAS a good boy. (LOL). Anyways, a Mate of mine who is the Asst Manager at the gym didn't see me entering the gym, but the rest of the staff and some fellow members gave me a huge welcome. I saw the Asst Manager in the far end of the gym looking really down with life. Doing his job, putting mats away, restacking plates back into order, replacing dumbbells etc, but not with his usual zip and smiles. He's USUALLY the happiest individual in the gym. I asked others what was up with old misery guts in the distance, and a few people mentioned that he'd been a little quite for the past few days.

So I shouted out, across the gym for everyone to hear, "DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU ACTUALLY WORKING OUT. EVEN IF IT'S ONLY PUTTING THE HEAVY STUFF AWAY".

EVERYONE stopped what they were doing to see who was shouting and then to see who was being shouted at. I got a few hands raised in welcome and, "Hi Mate. Good to see you", responses and the Asst. Manager raised his head, look across, sort of smiled and came across to the desk to say, 'Hi'. We shook hands and shoulder bumped and I could immediately see that whatever was going on in his world, he was hurting.

We past pleasantries and the usual, "Good to see you again", exchanges, but it was not with the usual and welcoming he was known for. His head wasn't as raised as it usually is. And there was no eye contact like usual either. SOMETHING was REALLY bothering him.

My Mrs started chatting with her girlfriends and getting back into the swings of Ladies talk amongst each other that us guys just do not understand, or do not want to know about. I looked at the Asst Manager and asked him, "I need some of your unique advice. Do you have a few minutes to chat outside?" He led the way outside as I grabbed a couple of bottles of water for us. (It's 92F in the shade down here today). He asked me what he could help me with as I handed him a bottle of water.

"Well, A Mate of mine is having a REAL issue right now. He's got some of his Mates REALLY concerned and worried about him, because he's usually the guy who brings the smiles and I want to know what's going on so I can help him, like he has helped me in the past".

He looked at me, knowing EXACTLY who I was talking about. He just looked back to the ground without saying a word.

"What's going on, Mate. And don't try telling me nothing. I've had one of my lungs removed. Not one of my, 'Can't you tell what it is', senses. What's wrong?" I asked him.

With a shrug of his shoulders, still looking at the ground, he replied, "I've been having some tests done with the doctor lately. I've had the results back and I don't know what to do about them. I'm just so embarrassed with them".

"Oh, f**k", I thought. "This don't sound good". But he was talking and I needed him to continue to do so.

"What have the doctors advised you do?" I asked him.

He didn't want to reveal what had brought the storm clouds into his world and just kept looking at the ground in silence and drinking sips from his water bottle.

"Come on. What is it? We can both be survivors together if we need to be. We're Mates. And Mates help each other. What's up, Mate?" I asked him, touching his water bottle with mine and saying, 'Cheers', to get him to respond.

"I've been told I've got low Testosterone. I'm only 34 years old, for f**k sake, and now the doctor wants to put me on TRT", he revealed. His head went further into his shoulders with his chin going further into his chest too. Just by looking at him you could tell his entire world, AS A MAN, had taken a huge blow to it. He was HURTING.

"I'm only 34, Mate", he continued. "I'm tired all the time. I can't be ar$ed about doing anything lately. The Mrs and I are constantly arguing, because she thinks I'm banging someone else because our sex life is non-existent. But I'm not. I just don't want it anymore. I still find her attractive and all. But when we do have sex, I just want it over and done with as quickly as possible. We used to have marathon sessions together, but if it goes any longer than 10 minutes now, I'm too exhausted and I just can't keep going. And then all the arguments start up again and she goes and cries herself to sleep in the spare room".

He was as close to tears as he could be without shedding said tears.

"I just don't know what to do anymore. I just don't....Oh, f**k. What ever", he finished, shaking his head and taking another sip of his water.

"What were your results? What levels did they give you?" I asked him, still keeping him talking, still making him address his issues, but without bullying the conversation.

"My Test levels are just 96, for fk sake. 96. I'm 34 years old and my nuts are working like I'm 134 years old", he answered. "I can't even get it up anymore. I have to use Viagra pills just to get it up now. If the Mrs found that out she'd be even more devastated with me. I get them off her own father, for fk sake. HER FATHER", he added, shaking his head and looking back down to the ground

"So she obviously doesn't know about this issue then?" I asked him.

"Oh, HELL NO. She'd probably divorce me if she did", he said, with real fear in his eyes as he spoke.

"I'm telling you, Mate. She's convinced I'm cheating on her and I'm not. She thinks I've banging someone in the gym and wants me to give my job up to prove I'm not. I've never even looked at another woman since I met her. I swear I haven't. She means everything to me. She wants us to have kids, but I can't even stay up long enough without needing a pill to get stiff", he said, and THAT is when the tears welling up in his eyes started to roll down his cheeks.

"Listen, Mate. If I was you, I'd go back to your doctor and ask him to give you some more tests. Ask him to test your estrogen levels", I told him as I tapped his water bottle with mine again.

"Why? Do you think that would help?" he asked.

"Well it'll answer why you're being a little bitch right now", I told him.

He looked at me TOTALLY STUNNED at what I'd told him.

"If I could only go for 10 minutes in the bedroom, I'd be wondering if I was turning female, Mate", I winked at him. "DAMN, Mate. Just 10 minutes? WOW!!! Have you just thought about cutting it off? Except for pissing out of it, it's not doing you any good, is it? I'd definitely be getting myself some more blood work done, to find out how much of a bitch I am now, if it was happening to me. And I'd ask the Mrs to start teaching me how to put make-up on and everything. That said, I reckon I'd look awesome with some mascara and rose blush on my cheeks", I told him, leaning back and giving him a smile as he raised his head.

My Mate BELLOWED a laugh out. Followed by a HUGE laugh and a, "Oh my fking God". "Oh Fk". "Oh, My ribs". Oh, f**k. That is some funny $hit right there", and continued to BELLOW laugh out loud.

I could literally see the clouds that had been darkening his world since this issue had arisen starting to break up.

The door of the gym flew open and his Mrs along with mine came bursting out, asking, "What's happened?"

My Mate just looked at his Mrs, looked back at me and continued to bellow his laughter out.

"What's going on? his Mrs asked me, with a big smile on her face, looking at her husband laughing uncontrollably.

"It's okay. Us Ladies are just exchanging some make-up tips", I told her.

That was it. My Mate just fell to the ground, laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach with both arms. I stood over him, tipped some of my water over him and told him, "My make-up tips are secrets. Do you hear me?" I smiled at him. "And you girls are NOT going to find out what they are either, So there", I smiled at his Mrs, and stuck my tongue out at her is jest.

My Mate stood up, gave me hug, turned to his Mrs, grabbed ahold of, hugged her with all of his might, told her that he loved her, kissed her lips, hugged her again, and said, "Thanks, Mate. I needed that. Damn, I needed a Mate to make me laugh again".

"We all need our Mates at times, Mate. But if you tell anyone my secrets, I'm going to pee in your water bottle from now on", I told him. "Call me later and we'll talk some more to sort this out", I whispered in his ear so his Mrs didn't hear me.

My Mate just laughed out loud again and continued to hug his Mrs, without letting her go, and nodded to me, "Thanks, Mate. Thank you", he replied.

MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE? IF a Mate of yours, who is USUALLY the individual you can go to and USUALLY get a warm welcome and/or a comforting smile from, looks like they need a Mate of their own to talk to. TALK TO THEM. They're own world MAY have just taken a slight knock to it, because we ALL have bad days, and a simple, warm, handshake can help them. But they MAY also be have an issue, that is REALLY affecting their world and just having someone they can vent their frustrations to is all they need too.

You'll NEVER know unless you talk to them.