We all know how crazy those pesky, emotionally unstable suppliers can be...always wanting to be paid for their gear, time and effort...and always sticking up for themselves when customers bash them for no reason.
Idiots!
But what if a supplier REALLY goes off the deep end and makes your info public?? What if he threatens to call the cops on you for buying steroids (which is illegal) from him (which is also illegal--but that's another blog for another time).
What if he just completely loses it during a crack-fueled night at the gay bar, and decides that aside from ripping you off, he's also going to make your info public, call the cops on you, and tell your neighbors that they live next door to a steroid user?
Well, I've put together a list of tasks you need to complete before the cops arrive in order to come out of this mess without a scratch.

**REMAIN CALM**....The first thing you need to do before the cops arrive is to understand that they aren't going to arrive....Not tonight...Not tomorrow, and not ever, unless you have a 53' EROIDS semi backed up to your front door once a week. The cops don't give a shit about you adding an inch to your arms, but they will GO THE FUCK OFF if you're adding to your bank account. Make yourself a beast..but DO NOT make yourself rich.

THE REMAINING POINTERS ARE FOR DEALERS AND PARANOID NEWBS

**CLEAR YOUR HOUSE OF ILLEGAL ITEMS**......That means gear, paraphernalia, porn involving animals, ex-girl friends you've kidnapped and have tied up in the basement, guns, and other illegal drugs. Also get rid of any tax returns that show you haven't made any money in the last 4 years, while your crib sports 97" plasmas, sunken hot tub in the living room, and 2 Bentleys in the garage. You're also going to have to evict any HOs who hang out constantly, and a trip to the dentist is in order to have your grill removed.

**GO INTO REHAB IMMEDIATELY**... This is a common tactic celebrities and star athletes use the instant they fuck up. This way, when your standing in court ready to be sentenced by the judge, your attorney can say that you were already trying to get help for your problem before you were even caught. It makes it look like YOU were the one who put an end to the madness---not the cops.

**PRAY TO GOD**.....Not for forgiveness, but to cuss his ass out for not blessing you with a better body. If he'd have given you a decent pair of arms, you wouldn't even have had to use steroids in the first place.

**GO ON THE OFFENSIVE**...The best defense is a good offense. Call the cops and tell them you may have found steroids at your house which probably belong to the previous owner who was an asshole biker....went by the name of Hlwdboy. If they don't bother to show up, you're in the clear.

**SHOOT ALL YOUR GEAR NOW**....No sense in taking a chance on going to jail without a proper frontload. Besides, where else besides jail would gear come in so handy?

**HAVE YOUR FATHER MOVE IN**....If he's over 80, you've got a damn good chance of blaming this all on him, and both of you are guaranteed to walk scott free.