+ 3 OMG!!!!... I'VE BEEN ARRESTED!!!!!
Given the fact that we juice-heads engage in what some people might call "illegal activity" (and no, I'm not talking about what happened with Nitti behind the adult bookstore), I thought it would be a good idea to give you guys a few pointers about WHAT NOT TO DO if the heat comes down, and you're face to face with some cop all pumped up on steroids and itching for a promotion:
Here are things you DON'T want to do:
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CRY ...This is the number one thing that you don't want to do. It may make you look guilty..almost like you have something to hide. It may also make you like you're emotionally unstable....but most of all, it will FOR SURE make you look like a big PUSSY, and cops hate pussies even MORE than they hate hard-asses, because a pussy won't mouth off and give them an excuse to beat the fuck out of you.
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SHAKING/TREMBLING HANDS ...This shit is NOT cool. They already know you're into hormones, and if your hands are shaking, then they'll figure you're into crack and other shit as well. They'll smell blood and move in for the kill.
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PRAYING ....Don't think God is going to get you outta this shit. If it wasn't for God, you wouldn't even BE in this situation in the first place, because he would have blessed you with great genetics and you wouldn't need gear. So this is all HIS fault. Besides, being tight with God isn't going to impress the cops---they're constantly arresting preists for being peter-puffers.
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PUNCH THE COP .... O.K...At first this might seem like a good idea. But remember: you're dealing with an asshole, and this guy didn't become an asshole just because he's a cop:: He was ALREADY an asshole. That's WHY he became a cop. Cops ATTRACT assholes. So if you punch him, he and the other 12 assholes are going to beat the fuck out of you---but not untill they get you handcuffed, tased, maced, and hogtied. They aren't going to take any unnecessary risks.
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RUN ...Good idea if you're running Winstrol....bad idea if you're running Tren.
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TELL THE TRUTH ....Have you lost your fucking mind?
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BLAME YOUR WIFE ... I tried this when I got busted for possession of weed ("your Honor, the bitch has got a substance abuse problem"). It worked with the judge, but after 6 months with no pussy, I'd have rather just went to jail for a while.
Remember..if you go to jail, you'll stil have 3 weeks or so of test woking it's way through your system, so you should have no problem taking other guys food trays. But without proper PCT, you may be FUCKED (litterally) if gyno sets in. With 2 inches gone from your arms and bitch tits, you need to get someone on the outside to trade your gear for bail money...FAST.
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Gothic. .. where do you come up with this stuff hahaha
prison! killing time, writing lots of letters(people wont write back if your boring), poems, telling stories on the yard. one of my homeboys in the joint used to say "alright I got one, its a lie but its a good one! one time I was walking" bla bla bla! As soon as that fucker said its a lie but its a good one you knew some funny shit was coming!
wtf lol
http://youtu.be/9jOqOlETcRU
Well f'in done, love the praying part!
Lol. Great read, but seriously, DO NOT try to explain ANYTHING to the cops. Their one and only job is to collect information for evidence... They are going to arrest you no matter what story you give them... So:
DO- smile, say, "here's my ID, I would like to speak to a lawyer."... This of course is after they actually find something to arrest you for. Just make sure that at no point in your interaction do you ever acknowledge that you know what anything is, or that anything is yours.
Now we know what not to do, anxious to see what we should do.
I'm gonna have to disagree and say that praying is a good idea. When I was 16 or 17 we had a pool built and they left the keys in the escavator over the weekend. Well I decide that it was a good idea to borrow the 30ft tall piece of heavy machinery and drive it down the street into the woods and bulild a dirt bike track. Well I got out there and I messed something up and it shut off on me, then the next thing I see is a cop drive up to my house, get out an start ringing my door bell. One of my asshole neighbors called the cops. Well no one was home so he finally left, I got it started then I saw him come back up the steer again and go back to my house one more time ring my door bell for like 5 mins the leave. This whole time I was praying to god saying if I don't get fucked for this ill never do amyrhinf bad again. He finally left, I started it up and drove it home parked it and got in my car and left.
Well the next day I decided that I would give it one more shot except is build the track right behind my house so my neighbors wouldn't call the cops. Got about 90% done and the fucking track came off the wheels. Mind you I told my mom they said I was allowed to use it ( she believes anything I tell her) Well she comes outside and says the guys are coming to pick it up lol. I'm calling catipillers customer service like Tryinf to ask how to fix the fuckinf thing. The owner shows up, bitches me out and makes my parents pay 100 bucks cause he had to get some guys on another job to come over and hep fix it. I still think I got a good deal cause to rent one for 4 hours was 400 bucks and I only had to pay 100.
Moral of the story, god helped me out the first day, now if I only didn't lie to him and never did it again like I promised lol.
simply hysterical brother, the shit we did as kids, now the little bastards don't want to break free from the games long enough to go outside and breath fresh air. nun the less...
I was literally just thinking about this. You just don't see kids playing outside anymore. All my little cousin and his friends do is play video games all day. I feel like there's gonna be a lot more fat cause due to this problem.
I second that bro. When I was a kid me and my cousins would ride our bikes clear into the next town sometimes. If we weren't riding bikes we would mob on our skateboards. These kids today play call of duty on game consoles. Back in the 80's we'd dress up in camo, grab our BB guns, head to the acres of almond orchards, pick teams and play our own version of one pump BB gun call of duty. Awee the good ole days.
I grew up in church and have prayed myself out of stuff on several occassions....but fuck...I never did anything like what you did...lol.
Your'e lucky you went right instead of left at the fork lol
It was so bad, by the end after I broke it it was down pouring, me and my friend are out there trying to fix it, my moms yelling at me asking if I broke it and the guys coming to get it. When he shows up he's I can't fucking believe this. this is my father in laws, the guy you never wanna piss off in life. Well dude you shouldn't have left the keys in it. Still can't believe my mom believed that they said I could use it.
A good Bobcat or bigger frontloader/backhoe can go for BIG $$
I think i got a great deal. I called this company who rents them and they wanted 400 bucks for a half day. I only had to pay 100 and i got it for the whole day. My dad didnt see it the same way tho.
LOL...Dads never do.
Great read, good laughs!
Always keep a new pair of ray ban's and some fresh still warm glazed donuts I always offer a peace treaty. What oinker doesn't wanna look cool like tackleberry from police academy while eating fresh donuts.
Fucking halarious! !!! I usually just bribe them if they pull me over or have my wife whip out her titties. Im a christain but, that god comment was funny a.f.!
If I ever get caught with gear, I hope it would be fake gear or unknown substances on my Masteron vial so there would be no charges against me :(
I've seen your pics....You don't have to worry about being suspected of steroid use.
I was just being an ass Goth, my apologies if I did push your buttons, you are a good dude in my book I don't care what Viking says about you!!!
I'm sorry brother... your pics do look great.. I was upset about the spec last night and was taking shit personaly.
I'm much better now.
It's all good big bro, but don't gay it up with that "you do look great" shit lmao
AnonHey rickrock..dont be taking any stick from goth.....
Shots have been fired from both parties!
I've got bigger guns (litterally and figuratively) ...;)