+ 1 How to handle the subject of gear with kids
Let me give a little background. I have a very athletic 9 year old son. Sports are his whole life, while his friends are in playing black ops he's out tossing a football around or trying to play pick up baseball. Now we're to the point that he wants to start taking sports seriously and he wants to start training. He told me he's ready to make a long term commitment so he can play throughout school and maybe even beyond.
Since he is 9 he is also at the age where they are going into detail at school about what drugs are and why they're so bad. Between his love of sports and all of the anti drug education, I know it's just a matter of time before the topic of steroids comes up. I can obviously educate him on the reasons why it's not a good idea while he's young. But is there any way to handle the subject without demonizing gear? Is this a scenario where despite what I believe I just have to nod my head and agree that AAS is "evil"?
I don't want him to grow up thinking it's the easy way out, and I certainly don't want him to buy into the medias bullshit. I also don't want the reputation for being the only dad on the baseball team defending Barry Bonds. I love Bonds, and while the image of "defender of a cheater" is something I can deal with, its not fair to put my boy in that situation. I want to find a way to give him honest information, but at the same time I don't want to either glorify or condemn gear. How have some of you handled this?
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You wanna help him? Just tell him the truth!!
Steroids are absolutely horrible for your health if your underaged or have no idea what you're doing.. They will ruin your body's growth.. You're not demonizing them by telling him this.. If he asks about football players etc you can be honest.. I think if you are OPEN then when he is older and thinks about trying them he will come to you!! Vs. demonizing them and inevitably he tries them secretly.
Where drugs are concerned I'd put it to em like this.. alcohol and pot are not the end of the world.. but they are no good if you are still growing AKA puberty and want to mature normally.. let alone be an athlete
Everything else coke/ex/lsd/crack/meth/H etc etc are fucking STUPID and there is never a story that came from those drugs that ended happily but they do usually end with your life being nearly or completely ruined =D
First off, why is somebody down voting this thread and RTKI? I bumped one of your downs back up bro.
The angle I used with my son and to a lesser degree my daughter is the truth. The truth in that once you alter your body with drugs you cannot undo it, you cannot not remember it, you will be forever changed to some degree. I also explain that you may not go right off into the ditch, you may be just fine, but then again you may not. It is not hard to show kids many real world examples of people who couldn't handle whatever drug they were on.
I told my son if he is curious about drugs wait until he is in a place in his life where he has stability, has his education and income. He will have a much more mature mind for experimentation if that is what he chooses.
So far it seems to be working. I should also mention I have been a MMJ grower for most of his life so he has always been around MJ to some degree, although I never use in front of my kids. The curiosity/mystery that many kids have simply isn't there with my kids.
We have not really talked about steroids yet, I know it is coming tho.
its hard to talk to kids about anything, considering how much truth we hide from them. Santa, the Tooth Fairy, my favorite the AAS Fairy. it gets even worse when you have to tell them something conflicting, drugs, war, why some are poor and some are rich. My opinion is be honest, put the facts out there. Steroids while they work like magic, still need the user to push to his limits and work incredibly hard to get the gains they seek. the media tries to say anyone who got big off of them cheated and didnt put as much work in compared to the "clean" athlete. Make sure the kid knows that he shouldnt use them until hes much older and explain to him the reasons for it. in short tell him 1. what they are 2. how they work 3. why and when someone should take it 4. how much dedication goes into their usage. or you could lie, parents do it all the time doesnt make you the bad guy, you can always tell him when he is older and more understanding. hope this helped, good luck
I dont agree with kids and steroids dont like this idea at all
i agree with this
For both of you. If you would mind reading down. This is about handling the subject of gear in a tactful manner with younger children vs the fear mongering type education at school. This thread in no way shape or form suggests that any child should ever be put on gear.
Darron614I'm going to be really disappointed if my future kids tell me that they don't wanna get on gear. But I'll tell them to wait and not be inpatient like their dad.
SIMPLE
He need to be shielded from any all knowledge other then DRUGS ARE BAD!
Till he is of age 16yr-18yr 21yr+
Till mature!
Example: My dad likes Jim beam
I knew how to many a mixed drink at 10!
Started sipping from the bottle myself at 12; med Cabinet demoral, oxycontin and ambien at 15!
He used to let me watch things like SCARFACE/ PULP FICTION!
I wanted to shoot drugs the instant I was exposed to John Travolta shooting H !
Guess what, fucking did that too!
How disgusting of an example is that!
Case closed!
You talk about taking juice to him not; he will be secretly eating the newest "PH" when he is 15yrs old not a doubt in my mind!
I am no weak minded individual either; I'm pretty successful and education in emergency medicine and Nursing!
It could and is any and everyone whom can fall into the depths of substance use and abuse!
Something to think about!
Gator
I was watching all of that and more as a child and I never felt the need to shoot up or do anything like that.. I already knew it was stupid to do and a movie is just a movie o-o
This reminds me of people blaming things like grand theft auto for children committing crimes.. that was another game I played as a child and enjoyed the hell out of.. I never felt the urge to steal a car and beat a hooker to death
BigBmajThen it all dawns on them one day that it was all a lie? Or was only some of it lie? So pot isn't so bad but heroin is?
I just don't agree. The truth is a better option.
The truth should set people straight enough.
I was fortunate enough to go to college with some of those sheltered young people. Holy shit they went nuts the second they realized it was all a lie. At least I knew the truth.
Yup I became a junkie just like a lot of my sheltered friends did.
Good parenting has much less to do with lying to your kids than it does with trusting, supporting, and loving them.
Junkie parents make junkie kids - even when they are adopted out. Go figure.
His telling them drugs are bad not telling them the truth? Drugs are bad and they have serious consequences. That is the truth. I tell my kids that drugs are bad, but I also give them the full story, not just a "don't do it." I think his main point was that his parent(s) showed him their truth and it led him down a bad path. As a parent you need to control yourself and inform your kids. They also need to be mature enough to understand it. There is a good middle ground that you can find with your kids, but you have to be honest with yourself and with them.
BigBmajAren't we all on drugs? So they are good for us?
How can you argue with that!?!
BigBmajHis parents didn't show him the truth. They taught him to identify with the counter culture.
Marihuana use really isn't that bad. Using test when your older really may be good.
I just refuse to be another drug user telling my son "drugs are bad". I'd rather err on the side of honesty over hypocrisy.
The DARE program failed miserably, as do most acedemic drug programs. I did research because I used to talk to kids about drugs in schools - honestly. An in I know many of you smoke weed and drink, like I did at this age, but let me tell you a bit about heroin and crack. They loved it but I couldn't get any funding to make it roll.
My son has seen lots, but he's a cautious kid and he's got a great mom. So no I don't run and hide the second he may see me do a shot of TNE preworkout. He asks about it and I tell him supplements for exercise. If he really wanted to be educated about it Id be happy to tell him. But its not time for that yet.
I may be totally wrong. Who knows? But I can't stand fucking hypocrites
I'm with you except I'm not so harsh on hypocrisy, being a little prone myself!
If anyone thinks they are going to keep anything from kids -- Scarface, Travolta shooting heroin, booze, or any kind of sex acts, in the age of the internet is, in my opinion, deluded.
You can block anything you want at home--they will see it at their friend's house. Or they will figure out how to defeat the blocks.
Yeah, we all know drugs are "bad" yet most of us did them. Why? Because they are also fun. Tell your kids otherwise and they will know you are lying or ignorant.
My kids have made excellent decisions when given complete, accurate information even when they were very young. They will undoubtedly have to learn a few things the hard way, but hopefully they will trust me enough to help them recover from their mistakes
BigBmajWe are all prone. It's nice to meet someone who can recognize their faults.
+1
Gotta make it clear with kids at an early age.. movies are just movies.. half the shit you're told is a lie.. The harder drugs will ruin your life.. Fuck it take them to see real drug addicts.. I was exposed to them at an early age so any time I was offered hard drugs there was no sort of peer pressure or anything that could cause me to try them at any age (This excludes pot and alcohol).. I knew the REAL consequences.. not what DARE says and not what TV says but REAL LIFE.. Trust me it makes a huge difference meeting a druggy than seeing a picture of one in class for them.. I'd even go as far as to warn him about adderal/vyvanse.. that gets passed around a lot at school now and is much worse than pot or alcohol when abused imo
Excellent point Gator. Everything you said is very true. Sorry your childhood was like that (most of us had crazy ones), but we do what are parents do. "I learned it from watching YOU!!". I know that was a dumb commercial, but it really is true and as parents we have a sacred responsibility to teach and care for our children. If anyone doubts what to tell your children, stick with "all drugs/alcohol/etc. is bad and you should never do it." Thanks for your comments!
Good post Gator. +1
I'm with you bro, I was a basket case too for most of my teens and early 20s. I definitely don't want to create an environment where my son makes the same choices you and I did. I don't want him to ever have to suffer like that. Thanks bro.
I have a son who i watched grow from a little boy into a young adult...both myself and his dad lifted weights and so my son had two parents who worked out...i took him to the gym once in a while and my ex and i had a gym built in our house and my son wld watch my ex workout.... so parents lifting weighs and going to the gym was all very normal for my son... he idolized his dad especially at age 9. my son is 6'4 now lookin down on his dad and he does work out and impressing his dad with his muscular development is important to him...so my advice to you is show yr son through yr actions how to be athletic and strong and healthy be a great role model for him then it will be his dad and his dad's muslces he talks about at school.
As a mother i think 9 is waaaayy too young to start talkin about gear....i've only talked about it openly with my son now and he is in his early 20's ....yr son will go through monumental developmental changes but you will always be the role model he builds his life on, so if the question of gear use ever comes up it will be you he turns to for advice and truth, because it will be YOU who has taught him the most through yr actions alone.
I'm really hoping my son stays dedicated to training through the years. It would be incredible to have him as a training partner. I'm just gonna keep faith I taught him well and he'll form his own opinions. I'm definitely gonna make sure that things stay open with us so he knows he can come to me for honest info. Thanks for your experience.
OH Alayna!
So beautiful and smart!
Great post!
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Gator
Thank you very much Gator! ;)
yr post was so honest and so true!
I have a 14 yr old son who has recently become my workout buddy. He knows I do TRT plus a little extra. I've also taught him all I know about why I do it, and why he should never consider it, at least not until age 25. Luckily he's had enough science classes to know what bone growth plates are, and why you don't want to mess them up.
No matter what the subject -- steroids, drugs, sex, etc. I try to be a resource for my kids and help them get all the most accurate information available, then offer my opinion (cause I can't help it), and let them know they obviously will be making their own decisions. So far its worked a whole lot better than trying to scare them with half-truths and lies, or trying to be a dictator only to have them stop talking honestly with me and go behind my back and do it anyway.
As far as use in sports, I teach my kids its about sportsmanship--everyone just has to play by the same rules. Thats just fair play. Want to make AAS legal in sports? OK with me. Illegal? Also OK. Doesn't matter as long as everyone follows the same rules.
Being a good resource is key. You're also right that I need to focus more on the sportsmanship aspect and not let my personal feelings get in the way.
The right advice is to tell him or any kid under the age of "21" in my opinion. That they are bad for you and can cause very serious side effects and stunt your growth and cause you to have terrible acne and ruin your life not to mention illegal! WHY? Because they are kids and giving them any insight that might water down the truth until he reaches a SENSIBLE age would be wrong. As a father and a good uncle I had to talk to my nephews about gear and the side effects and basically scare the shit out of them. But when they become an adult and I can have the conversation again and I know they have age, diet, training and life experience then I may talk about the benefits of some hormones and the use in a proper way. Until they are of age it's the DEVIL just like any other drug. Again just my 2 cents.....
It's tough because I don't like parenting through fear. But I also know before about 25 kids don't really use reason and logic, so scaring the shit out of them sometimes is the way to go.
BigBmajI sometimes worry that I'm a little too honest with my son. We will see in time.
Ya know they say; if you think it... It's probably so!
Read my post above about "adult" honesty and "adult" activity being exposed at young ages!
Gator
That's exactly what I'm trying to figure out. Where is the line between too honest and just saying fuck it let the school teach him. Hopefully we make the right call.
BigBmajI think as long as you love him and he feels secure you can't go wrong.
That's why grandparents make better parents, because they know that fact.
As hes only 9 i'd let the school teach them what they want to ( u dnt want him going in to school and arguing with the teacher about the effectiveness of test lol!) Once hes about 16+ and IF hes still into sports and training then i'd go through it with him
Haha! That's what I'm afraid of if I try to educate him too much. I'll be getting notes home about him calling bullshit when they try tell him about all if the scary sides. Good stuff bro.
As far as cheating I would explain it like this if you agree to play by a set of rules and then you do otherwise you are cheating. I personally don't have a problem with athletes using gear, but if they agree that in there sport it says no or it will be called cheating then it is what it is.
I teach my sons that I did not use steroids until after 40. I also can prove legit medical reasons for it. I also tell them I use steroids beyond what is recommended by my doctor because it makes me feel better and helps me to accomplish more in the moment then I could without them. I also tell them I could be doing harm to my body without knowing it in the long term and that also what I buy outside of a scrip is illegal.
Then I tell them when they get of age they must make their own choices and fully live with the results good or bad. And if they do them just because I did but have no personal reasons other than they look up to me, well they probably aren't my sons anyways because I know I raised them to be leaders not followers lol:)
I guess it comes down to me just having faith in the way I've raised my kids. I've taught my boy to question everything, so hopefully he doesn't blindly buy into the propaganda. I'm already confident that he won't just blindly following some other kids down that road, or even emulate me for that matter. When it comes down to it, I'm just not a fan of the scare tactics that are used to educate kids these days. Thanks brother.
Now that is the best answer here brother
I just say it is medicine. My daughter is elementary age and understands. The only concern I've had to date us that she says I get a lot of medicine in the mail. So I may attempt a new approach.
"she says I get a lot of medicine in the mail."
Yes; say so!
Maybe be a Lil hush hush bout that!
If ever someone (teacher, doctor, mailman) heard that...big issues could come from that!
I've been pretty careful with what either of my kids have seen since I'm divorced from their mom. She'd jump all over that if the kids thought I was getting meds in the mail. Then again she's a total bitch lol. I'm mainly worried since my son wants to dedicate himself to an athletic lifestyle, and the information out there at his age is so negative. I want to truthfully inform him, but I don't know how to do that without sounding like I'm pro steroid. Thanks for your thoughts.
I think at that age its best to just label gear as evil until when hes older were you can go into details and then give honest pros and cons, while still discouraging him using them at a young age.
I'm afraid that he will get the impression of everyone that uses gear is a cheater, then in 10 or 20 years what if he finds out I'm on AAS? I don't want him to instantly look at me with disgust IF that day ever happens. Like I said, I'm not trying to glorify anything. I just wish there was I could counteract the media bias, and let him remain neutral while he forms his own opinion based on facts. Thanks for your input bro.