No doubt bro. Thanks

When I was in the service we had a saying, "where the mind goes the body will follow...", the same is true for the reverse. Where the body goes the mind will also follow. When I had a rough patch at your age my platoon would not leave me alone. We ran jumped and swam all over the island until it was over. My point is you cannot control life but there are things you can do to change your mindset. Working out hard is one certainty you can have. If you haven't learned by now you should know that a good strong workout leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment and positive feelings even when things aren't going so well. Remember it's one of the things you do have control over. I would consider laying off the gear for a few months. I say this for several reasons. One is you are suppressing your bodies natural ability to cope with stress when on AAS. Your hormones are suppressed to the point of non production and you force yourself into a state of imbalance otherwise known as not in homeostasis. (Homeostasis is your bodies natural balance) Normally on cycle this is a good thing as we want to trick our bodies into growing. However, it is horrible when trying to cope with life. Your not eating is a result of stress and is very hard on your system. When you are on a cycle several things happen.

1) We push our bodies out of a homeostatic state and decrease natural test production. What this does is stresses the body and especially the endocrine system. This forces our body into a fight or flight scenario and we naturally ramp up cortisol production to bring us back to homeostasis. (Cortisol is the active steroid in cortizone a corticosteroid used in the medical profession to decrease swelling), so what you are doing by the very nature of AAS is suppressing your own coping hormones and chemical mechanisms. Incidentally this is one of the causes for a post cycle crash where you shrink faster then you gained. Your body screams to be back into balance and floods the receptors with cortisol forcing a catabolic state thereby shrinking muscle gains to almost their original size. (This is why we do PCT) Now not being in homeostasis is not the only way for our bodies to produce cortisol. The major contributor is emotional stress. When you stress your body produces copious amounts of this steroid to cope and is counterproductive to our end goals when using AAS.

2) While AAS is not chemically additive they can be psychologically addicting. By this I mean the people who only feel good about themselves when on cycle or only work out when blasting because they see no point in it otherwise. These are the people who live on hopes and dreams that juice is going to make them a better person. This is also what leads to the "something to look forward to" syndrome otherwise known as "Hopium"! Since your bodies natural hormone production is effected and thus your coping mechanisms, you are not in the best place to see a situation for what is is.

Tread has a point in choosing to focus on the matters you can change and not the ones you cannot. Life is going to happen regardless of what we do. I know this is easier said then done but it is possible. If you feel you have to focus on something negative you can give yourself permission to do so. But you only give yourself permission to think about it from say 6-6:30 A.M. every day. Eventually you will find you think about it less and less and focus on the things you can change. You should establish a routine. Eat well and often, sleep as much as necessary and continue to work out hard every day. Especially on the days you don't feel like going to the gym. You do not have to feel like your working out to get bigger or better just that you know there will be a positive benefit to doing so and because it is on your routine. This will help with sleeping and eating and general well being. I would avoid antidepressants for now. You sound like a strong minded young man and your body is already going through enough chemical imbalances at the moment. If you finish PCT and allow yourself to come back to homeostasis you might find your ability to cope has increased. Remember chemicals are not always the answer. You need to learn to cope on your own through introspective thought and contemplation its called self reliance brother and is mandatory for having a family. Remember you are doing the right thing by fighting the good fight every day and wanting more for your family and also realize it is no small undertaking having a family and children at 23 or any other age for that matter. However, it is the ultimate maturation process on the way to becoming a man! Nothing will try your patience or mental fortitude like having a family. Again these things in life are unavoidable and you can choose what to focus on. For instance you can focus on your daughter becoming a young woman which cannot change or you can focus on something tangible like her smiles at you and her arms around your neck and kisses on your cheek. These things will not be there forever, one day she will see you differently and will not desire to be so little. Embrace these moments because they will pass and you will say, "I wish I had payed attention to those times". Your doing a good job just by wanting more for you children and they will see it. Remember to cut yourself some slack and embrace the things you can change accept the things you cannot and fear nothing for fear is merely an unproductive emotion!

I apologize for the diatribe but if you have read this far then you have more then demonstrated mental fortitude!

Amen brother!