This day sucks, my tale of woe.
So I did the most incredibly stupid thing of my life. A couple of nights ago I had an affair. Didn't mean for it to happen, didn't really want it to happen, and didn't even enjoy it, but that doesn't matter. So for the last couple of days I've been struggling with whether or not to tell my wife about it. It happened once, I have absolutely no interest in it happening again, and I was weighing that against the pain I knew it would cause my wife. However I also knew this chick was really unhinged, and there was a possibility of some stalking going on. So I had decided that tonight I was going to tell my wife.
Too late. She called me about an hour ago and told me she had received an anonymous call from a blocked number. So I'm at work still, not really wanting to head home, but I guess it's time to face the music.
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Psycho's are fun man... :( Good luck Bro... especially in gettin thru to crazy that ur married, sometimes those b's think that shits a challenge.
well im happy things worked out for you, that must be some load off your shoulders.
CleyonLast night actually went better than expected. My wife was understandably hurt and there was a lot of crying (by both of us), we spent two hours or more talking and just getting it all out. When I arrived home my wife was on the phone, so I went to the bedroom and waited for her. When she came in we started with the game of 20 question, and I told her all that happened. After that she informed me that the person she was on the phone with when I came home was non other than the psycho chick. Guess who had a completely different tale...
So there was a lot of discussion about that, and when it was obvious that the conversation was becoming unproductive I went to the gym. I have to say that a really hardcore chest workout is one of the best mind erasers there is. I was able to dump my mental/emotional baggage for an hour, and felt a lot calmer by the time I was on my way home.
When I got home I spent some time with the kids, played a little MW3 with them. Then I told my wife I was going to hit the shower, and she said that she wanted to talk again. This talk was MUCH more productive. She had realized that the person who called her from a blocked number (anonymously) was actually psycho chick. And decided that she probably had liked me for years, and that call was her trying to break me and my wife up. DO NOT EVER TRY TO MANIPULATE A REDHEAD!
I offered to go stay at a hotel for a couple of days to give my wife time to recover (offered to take the kids too), but my wife said she didn't want that. When we went to bed I was careful no to advance myself on her, and let her cuttle up to me on her own terms.
I think we're going to be OK. As to anyone who thinks that she'd go out and "get even", you don't know my wife. She is THE most fiercely loyal woman I've ever met. If last (and this morning) are any indication, she plans on making sure I'm to exhausted to ever be able to do that again.
Like I said below, expect to BE the asshole for a while (every fight, arguement, etc. you ARE going to lose for a bit) and be placed on a short leash. However, if she's willing (and it looks like she is so far) and you are ready to bust your ass to make this work, in the end you guys should make it and actually be stronger than you were before.
Anonwell the reality IS that he IS THE ASSHOLE.. DUH.. .. (no offense intended but you should expect to be treated like the asshole.. you were )
CleyonYou're right. That has been accepted, and I'm trying to do so with a modicum of dignity. We'll see how it goes.
Not arguing that, but I was referring more to being ready to accept that he's the asshole and is going to lose just about all the arguments or fights for quite a while, even if he's 100% in the right.
UFOWell, good for you I guess. No ones knows ur chick better than you. Still cant believe some crazy ass ho actually DID rape you tho haha. Man up next time!!!!!
CleyonDamn, now I have to leave eRoids... I'll never live this shit down.
UFOLOL na bro im just fucking with you. Honestly thanks for sharing your story and I hope shit goes well with you and wifey. Just dont be a pushover man...you dont need to be a pushover for ANY women BUT your wife now anyways, fuck the rest!
juiceinatorHaha you manned up and won. Was hoping you wouldn't listen to most of this shitty advice thrown around here. That last sentence says it all.
CleyonMy wife is amazing, her capacity to forgive, and love is incredible. How a meat head like me ever got her to say yes I'll never know.
I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm sure she'll have swings of emotions that will mean future discussion, and some more tears, but I'll take it. Thanks for the support.
juiceinatorNo doubt. Shit we all make mistakes. Mine still get brought up.. Often.. But I fuckin man up and take it on the chin.
CleyonThanks for all the advice, and support guys. I hear where most of you are coming from, bu ED that guy must have been the most brilliant (yet psychotic) liar ever! I thought I should give you guys the full story.
For the record, the "chick" is an extended member of our group of friends. Not someone we see often (once ever two years or so), but definitely has the contacts to get our info. I wasn't rapped (ED), but was threatened with the "if you don't fuck me I'm going to tell everyone you did!" crap. I definitely didn't want that. Her brother and I have been friends for 15+ years, and I really like their family.
Anyway, here is how it went down. She friend-ed me on a social networking site, and the moment I accepted the friend request she started sending messages. I was nice (I'm a nice guy), I even complimented her on all the weight she'd lost. Then she started sending the really "interesting" texts. Mistake #1, instead of cracking the whip I just gave her non-committal responses. I admit that part of me was enjoying the attention.
Well 10:30 that night she calls me, I was driving into work, and she starts saying shit like "you need to leave that $%^&, and get with me." just out of the blue. I was floored, and quickly started trying to talk some sense to her. The more I tried to talk sense to her, the more irrational and insane she got. She was demanding that I come pick her up. Well after a while I agreed. I thought (stupidly) that I could talk some sense to her, get her to chill out, and diffuse the situation. Anyway, she comes out to my car and is clearly drunk. Wearing the tightest booty shorts I've ever seen.
I don't want to be mean, you've seen my pictures and know that my body isn't perfect, but she should NOT have been wearing those shorts.
So I still had to go in to work and fix an issue, so I start heading that way. Well on the drive I'm starting to get a better impression of just how bat-shit-crazy this chick is. She starts talking about how much money she makes and that she could take care of me (she makes about half what I make). I keep trying to guide the conversation back to her 25yr old "stunter" boyfriend, and offer to drive her over to his house. She takes a picture of me, and tells me to smile. Then starts laughing telling me that she's sending it to her boyfriend. To keep it brief, the whole drive she is talking about the craziest shit I can imagine.
Finally we make it to my work, and I leave her in the car and go in. My mind is racing trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to get out of this. I spend a little more time in the office than I need to. I thought maybe if I gave her enough time she'd sober up. Nope! Got back to the car, and start driving back, and she starts yelling "pull over and fuck me!" I give a nervous laugh and tell her "I can't do that your drunk". She starts cussing at me, and demanding I pull over and I keep making excuses, "I don't have a condom", "I don't want to get caught", ect.
After about five minutes of this she reaches over and yanks the wheel HARD, nearly putting us into a concrete median. I'm getting pissed at this point, and start yelling back at her she starts to hit my car, finally breaking off the pull-handle on her door. So I pull over, and get out of the car, another mistake I should have taken the keys. She takes the keys and gets out and I'm yelling at her about breaking my car. She's like "fuck your Mercedes", and waiving my keys around. For those who don't know, it costs about $500 to replace that damn electronic key, and I don't have a spare at the moment. Anyway, threats where made, and the deed was done.
As soon as it was over we get back in the car and start heading back, she puts in her headphones, and starts calling her girlfriends. I couldn't believe the crap she was saying, and with every nasty comment I felt worse and worse.
I drop her off, and as soon as I do she starts blowing up my phone, telling me I need to leave my wife ect. and it was then that I realized I hadn't solved anything.
Update on last night coming next...
I sent you a friend request so that I may pm you...just on some advice from a womans point of view if you may be interested. If not...that's ok too
CleyonAccepted (happily) thanks Girlrilla.
juiceinatorTop part-win. This part-lose. Sounds like you downgraded. :(
CleyonDude, yeah... but remember I wasn't looking for a trade.
juiceinatorIt's in our nature to want to get our dick wet. Whether u intended to or not you did subconsciously or you wouldn't have picked psycho ho up. Like I said. Take the future as it comes. Forgiveness, true forgiveness takes time. But it does happen. Don't listen to these guys sayin she's gonna gomfuck someone else to spite you. Mine didn't. And I know that for a fact. Because she was going to and chose not to because she knew that would completely ruin everything we had.
CleyonI'm sure somewhere in my fucked up head (I am a man right) I was open to the idea. Putting it behind me and moving forward.
juiceinatorAfter I did it once I have yet to do it again. Different circumstances for sure but same philosophy.
UFOBRO are you shitting me. Im sorry and with all do respect, you are a goddamn pussy. Some nasty ass drunk CRAZY control freak bitch managed to seduce you by threatening you with throwing your keys? This is insane. I would have A. never went to the bitches house if I knew she looked like that(you make her sound gross)B. never drove to my work with some strange piece of ass C. kicked that bitch out of the car the second she got weird. This is nuts haha. Now I gotta read the top part.
CleyonUFO, you are absolutely correct. When it comes to women I'm a pussy, a pushover. I try so hard not to hurt their feelings that it reaches a level of insanity. My first wife walked all over me, and in some instances still does, because I really try to be a nice guy.
For the record, she wasn't "gross", but definitely not "hot-pants" ready.
Bro about six paragraphs down you should have taken your knife out and stabbed that bitch.
Sorry. Hate to cut into your story.... Please continue.
CleyonYeah, I've thought the same thing, but I think a murder rap would have been slightly more troublesome.
Just tell the cops that she was trying to rape you.
LOL
That sucks been there bro. Hopefully your wife is an understanding person. Best of luck.
Make it right or at least keep it civil, especially if you want your kids because the courts will give the kids to her. Why? Because not only is she the mother, she also knows about your steroid use, and as far as the courts are concerned it might as well be heroin. Unfortunately for you the judge isnt going to sit down and watch bigger stronger faster with you. Doesn't matter the drug its the schedule. Might not be a bad time to lock the juice and documentary footage in a box and bury it.
UFOLOL most of these responses are retarded...no chick is going to believe you got "raped" or were forced into it. You arent some 100 lb helpless child. My question is, how does this chick have your wifes phone number? Its obviously someone BOTH of you know or are at least involved in the same group of friends. And in that case your fucked. Shes gunna find out anyway. If she IS NOT someone in your social group, personally bro, I would not tell her. All that will do is either break you two up immediately or she is just going to get you back. I def would not want to have in the back of my head at all times that my wife is out fucking some other dudes to get back at me. All trust in your relationship will be gone and shit will just go downhill. Its rough but theres no good way out of this situation, whats done is done.
Hilarious. I actually have a buddy that pulled the "I got raped" card. There wasn't a person in the world that believed it except his Fiance. He stuck to his story, that he got drunk passed out and while he was out she came in sucked him hard and raped him. The dude was a master lier and he knew that to pull it off he had to lie to everyone. He even told the chick the next day who came up to him wanting more that the only thing she was going to get from him was charges... She looked at him all dumbfounded and he said:"That's right, you raped me last night." She went off crying.
Well to make a long story short, he pulled off his rape story. I don't buy it, but his now wife did. WTF.
Same thing happened to me a few years back with the mother of my son, after that the relationship was never the same, no trust whatsoever and nowadays we good friends but it was the beginning of the end in my case!
Or just admit it and Blame it on the juice!
Its really not good to lie to your loved one.. BUT if you tell her, shit isnt going to be the same Bro...Right now she doesnt know what to believe... When you confirm it, she will know it happend for sure! Its your choice. WHether or not you tell her the trueth or not. You cant be doing this anymore Bro as you probably already know.
Alright man if ya want to stay w/ ur wife tell her this... Tell her u were kinda flirtin around w/ this chick and thought it was harmless, then she like blindsides you w/ her tongue in your mouth. you pushed her off, said wtf are you doin i'm married. This crazy b then grabs ur stuff and says I'm gettin this or I'm tellin your wife we did anyway.. You said do whatever psycho and blew her off... You've been feelin horrible about the situation last couple days and were really hoping it would just go away cause all you did was kiss her, but you really didnt even kiss her she kissed you. Tell her u should have told her and u knew it was gonna come back to haunt you, but you did not f' the crazy b. Hopefully it wasnt a friend of your wife's, but made me wonder how she got ur wife's phone #? Good Luck Bro!
Maybe I'm psychic?
If she knows, then denying it wont help, as when the truth eventually comes out (and it will!!) she will be hurt even worse. Like Macleod said, a lot of listening, a lot of apologizing, and be ready to be on a very short leash for a LONG time! You can try the "she jumped me" routine, but the bottom line is you still are gonna have to look at the wife and say: "I love you and a I REALLY FUCKED UP!" I would also suggest some counseling... many times its easier to get things in the open, and show youre sincerely sorry with a third party being there to offer guidance to both parts. Remember, no matter how bad you feel, the OL is going to be hurting just as bad if not worse and you BOTH are going to have to do some forgiving. Her to you, and you to yourself.
.
FYI, this is coming from firsthand experience... I had been involved in a longterm relationship that had kinda died out... she was in another state and I ended up having another gal staying with me off and on. When I told her what had happened, I was thinking about moving on, etc, I was called every name in the book. But, I was honest about being with someone else and told her the reasons why (we had drifted apart, never saw each other, etc...) about 5hrs later that night she called and we had a LONG talk on the phone, the next day I dumped the replacement gal cold turkey as we decided that tho it would be some work, we both came to realize in the conversation, as much as she was hurting, and as much as I was hurting for hurting her, that we would rather have each other than someone else. That was in 2003... had many times it was thrown in my face and all I could do was stand there and take it, and even to this day, I am very careful that I dont come across as being flirty with a waitress, or around other females along, as her jealous streak with come out fast!Bbut in the end we weathered the storm, actually came out stronger and more intense on our passion and intimacy and in 2012, would not trade her for the world. But it took alot of work to get to this point too!
shoxingbiceps17KARMA
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Damn I just typed a bunch if shit I was gonna tell u but I accidentally deleted it wtf. Bro u gotta go home and just talk less and listen more. Don't bullshit her ya know, and I understand what dude below is saying but this ain't ur girlfriend its ur wife big difference so knowing that and assuming u two are in love for real, do whatever u gotta do to make it easier for her. No matter what she's gonna be pissed and sad but I think u should just admit it....if u.deny it hardcore and this bitch u screwed keeps calling g her or worse, meets up with her, then its gna look real bad on ur part. U gotta just apologize from the bottom of ur heart and act really depressed like u didn't want it at all... and def tell ur wife that this psycho bitch grabbed u and started making out and at first for a split second u wanted it but then when she got naked and started pulling your clothes off u didn't want to do it but the girl insisted and basically raped u but don't say raped lol. In all seriousness tho make it seem like the other girl aggressively caused it to happen and that u feel broken and depressed now
Damn Bro! This sucks and there really isn't a perfect way to approach it. I had a girl cheat on me and it fucking sucked. You know your chick way better than anyone, so it will ultimately be up to you on whether it is better to deny or fess up. Either way, the dynamic of your relationship is forever changed. It might be best to find a new chick and start over. This baggage might be too heavy (even for us on roids) LOL
Deny that shit, bro!
You fucked up, but trust me, your wife has probably done some shady shit behind your back. Females are all alike...
Deny, deny, deny...tell her about that crazy bitch stalking you.
Then kill the bitch mistress..she can't talk if she can't breath. Okay I'm kidding on this part...or am I? ;)
Good luck, dude.
O dude thats so depressing...."your wife has probably done some shady shit behind your back. Females are all alike. " Damn I think the same way. Were girls always like this? Or is this due to the feminist movement? Now they get treated like women but act like men. ... I bet you fifty years ago women who cheated on their husbands probably got smacked around and never did it again. But dude your wife already knows, so denying it isnt going to work. I say give her a free pass tell her she can bang someone now. but that you want to stay together.