+ 2 The False Comfort of Self Pity
Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.
As Bill sees it:
The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering.
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PropheticWookieThe main thing is that you understand that the pity is not allowed and you can cope. Thank you for share with us your experience - it is very valuable for us.
A while ago a storm dumped 12 inches of rain into a little tiny town outside of the city I live in. About an hour out. We got rain, but not quite like that. The torrent flooded all creeks and streams, and down into a river. All along the river homes were wiped out. Picked up off their foundation and moved hundreds of yards down the bank. Devastation.
At the time I was going through a hard time, stuck in my self infatuation. Depressed, but more ego driven than ever. I was king of all bad things. Because, well, no one else existed in my mind...
I got a call on my phone informing me of the damage and loss of life that occurred during the flood. It was one of my clients. She just moved here from NYC, but she cared way more than I would have expected her to. Why? because she wasn't self absorbed focusing microscopically on everything that was wrong with HER life. She was aware of life outside of herself.
I decided to act, and put my body to work. Helping those people that LITERALLY watched their life wash away. Old people, crying over the loss of memories. Years and years of pictures, books, and mementos ruined within minutes. Not to mention the home where they were living in. When I arrived on scene, I no longer existed. My "problems" were immediately put into perspective.
THAT is what service brings.
Want to not feel like a piece of shit? Now you have a recipe.