+ 5 **IMPORTANT**
I want to start off by saying I sincerely apologize to each and every one of you, a few days after I made my last post on here, I relapsed. Ended up in the hospital. But the reason I haven't approved any new members is because I was in rehab. I let this group and myself down by not only relapsing, but by not talking about it and getting it out, and more importantly giving a heads up about my absence here. This thing we all battle with is a real bitch some times, but connecting with others and reaching out for help is a good combatant for triggers and shit. I know everyone's situation has its scars and stuff, but this time around I'm really being tested. While in recovery at Landmark, my brother (in active addiction) sold pretty much all my Shoes expensive Jordan shoes, just about all my gear, and other things. Don't sleep on this disease friends, and know that what you say to others does matter.
- Bookmark
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You can only play the hand you’re dealt once. If you mess it up, you start the next hand. As long as you keep trying to do what’s best then you’re good brother. I hate that past hands have given you such misery, but as long as the angels wake you in the morning you are blessed with the opportunity to try again!
Never give up! We are all here for you brother.
Nice comment mate.
We all need to be reminded from time to time that it is not a given or our right to be on this earth - any of us. Any day we get to wake up and live a day of life with air in our lungs is a blessing and a gift and we need to do everything in our powers and ability to live it to the full and in the happiest way possible. Trying to do that with alcohol and drugs flowing through you is pointless and backwards, just one big negative experience.
Too often we view the day as a big chore, full of things that we have to do that are one big effort and misery. But you have to see beyond all of that and appreciate every day and hour as much as you can - because eventually it will be our last and one thing that is for sure is you will Never, EVER get to lift another cast iron weight again or pin that backside with some smooth, sweet oil LOL
@TrestNBleev Here we are mate!
What a great spot. Thanks for the “in”.
Thank you all, I really appreciate it, I just got back from my first IOP, my moods just switch more often than usual, I'm not one that does to well with change, but I'm guessing I'll adjust. Coming home from rehab, not really knowing how to feel, then realizing a lot of my things are no longer here, really is an immediate test. But I've got to keep on keeping on.
That is rough. I don't know if this helps but I went in for a while... long story. When I realized that my place had been raided by tweakers, "friends", feds, etc. I struggled with knowing that I had been cleaned out on top of being stuck inside. I'll be the first to admit, I like stuff. My stuff. The moment I let that stuff go and said, "it's just stuff, I can get it back, and none of it matters if I'm not clean," I felt like I lost 50 lbs. In a good way, I mean. Easier said than done but it helped me. Glad to hear you are getting back on the horse.
I don't think many of us here are big fans of dealing with change buddy, we all like our set routine and when stressful hurdles get thrown in the way we often resort or have done to dealing with them by other means. Gotta ride the top of the wave and go with the flow mate, embrace and enjoy this new Life you can have if you want it - it is there to be taken and lived if you are ready to be happy every day.
Just from that statement there I can tell you now you need to have a good look at the people you are surrounding yourself with and cut the wheat from the chaff - decide who is good and positive for you in your life and who is bad news and will only serve to bring you down more. He may be your family bro, but you need to let go of him - or at least until he changes himself and stops stealing from other people. People who thieve from others are the same type of bottom feeders who lie, manipulate, cheat and bring general aggravation into your life. I have had to cut family out of my life who are alcoholics and narcissists and its a very upsetting thing to have to do. You wonder why of all people family have to be like that, but trust me if he is able to do this to his own brother whilst you are in rehab trying to take on your biggest challenge in life - then he does not care for you and only thinks about his own needs. Take a look at other associates too and so called friends, and take those first positive steps mate. We may only be internet friends and strangers on here, but any of us in these rooms are better for you to be communicating with than any of those others right now. There are A LOT of extremely genuine and good guys in this group and a lot of them are sincere and good friends of mine - none of those people will ever let you down mate and will always be here for you to talk to when times get tough
I wish I had this to read 6 years ago. Well said.
First off, Thanks for sharing. We are here to share and care. I'm so sorry for your pain and your trouble. I suspect you know what you need to do. If you don't know what to do, I bet you know where to find the answers. I am glad you here today. Glad you survived to fight, fight and fight. You are worth it Bro. Your life is worth fighting for. We are with you. Keep sharing and caring. thanks
I usually keep things to myself as I find it embarrassing. I’m the guy that lies to myself about having my addiction conquered and I can have the occasional drink, which sometimes I do, preferably good scotch. Recently, after not drinking for quite some time, I’ll use the timeless excuse of the stress of life got to me. Some of you are familiar with my situation with my daughter, what I do for a living, child support issues etc, it’s not always easy. Well one night of vodka turned into another night. Then another night. By day 4 I’m having shots in the shower at 6AM. Day 6 or 7 I decided I’ve had enough and went to bed. Woke up the next morning feeling great, I mean spectacular, then at around 8AM the withdrawal hit. Called an ambulance for myself, pulse rate 130 with BP of 190/120, well just say I wasn’t feeling too great. The nurses had me take my shirt off and I got the awkward look. Yes a 6’1” 220lb guy at 14% bodyfat can be an alcoholic lol. I kept saying how embarrassing the situation was for me, but they were very comforting. Ready for this? Besides an elevated WBC, my blood panel was stellar. Kidneys, hematocrit, RBC, everything was within range. So they gave me 10mg of Valium to stabilize me and a prescription to get through the next few days. I started to tear up, I’m tearing up now typing this, but the wonderful physician let me know it’s ok, I’ll get through it. I hadn’t drank for quite some time before this. I have a follow up tomorrow with my physician, was told n something before for anxiety but I thought I was strong and didn’t need it. May be time to keep something on hand for when stress drives me to the bottle. But you’re not alone in this buddy, you know that. There’s quite a few of us out here. Best wishes to you.
Holy shit dude. Without judgement are you doing ok man?
I know it’s a huge deal to relapse but like don’t think the people who’ve been through it will generally say “go deal with this alone.”
No relapse is a good one but you know just as well as anyone else that that doesn’t make you a lesser person, hope you’re doing good man.