NEVER NAIR DOWN THERE! A story of muppetism ;(
Just a word of advice for all you blokes looking to save time and thinking about using hair removal cream rather than getting waxed or using a good ol fashioned mach 3..
'NEVER NAIR DOWN THERE!!!!'
I had a genius idea when trying to impress the mrs one day.. I thought FUCK IT! Ill spoil her! She doesnt need to be pulling pubes from teeth in between getting tea bagged and playing the rusty trombone!!!
'Ill fkn NAIR my sack!! Yeh she'll love it'
(By the way NAIR is hair removal cream)
Aanyways.. I read the label.. It said 10-15 mins for leg and arm hair :/ i figured well!? My pubes are twice as thick and twice as long as a womens arm hair! Soo... 20-30 mins and she'll be apples riiight!? Right!
So i squeezed a good table spoons worth and rubbed it on my sack n crack :/ 5 mins later.. Nothing.. So i thought id wait another 5 or 10 and assess the situation again and within 4 or 5 minutes Ooh My Fuucking GOD!!
My balls were fucking on FIRE! my arse hole felt like it had been violated by a fucking bottle of caustic soda!! The SINGLE most PAINFUL experience of my life!!! And to think just dabbing my sack in the kitchen sink full of cold water would help... NOOO mate it did not fkn help!! I dabbed for a good 5 minutes it did NOT HELP a tad!! I was screaming mate! Literally bloody petrified i thought id done some real damage gents!
So i run to the freezer and grab a bag of frozen peas to sit on :/ not even the pain from literally icing the sack'n'crack could save me from the torment i had inflicted on myself! So i wait another 5 maybe 10 minutes and mates.. shit just got worse!! My balls by this stage where well and truly hiding in my throat and my arsehole was red raw and bloody well stinging!!
So i ran to the bathroom and ran some water as hot as i could and thought fuuk hot water MUST be the answer!! So i dropped the flannel in the sink and didnt even bother ringing it out who gives a shit about the mess at this point right!!?
And then i dabbed it... :(
HOLY MOTHER OF CUNT!
And to think id recently been in pain..
LOL no no.. THIS WAS PAIN!!!
By this stage the mrs and her nan had pulled up and could hear my helpless whimpering/groaning! The mrs naturally assumed i was having a good old fashioned fap in the bathroom and charged through the door like a nun!! "Whaat the fuuu..., LOL LOL LOL"
Oh yeh the bitch thought it was hilarious.. She'd caught me bowel wiping the frozen peas and then dabbing hot water just trying to get some fkn balance goin on cause this shit just wasnt right.... Aanyhows she suggested i dab some talcum powder on my now red raw man bits and wouldnt ya know it... Within a few minutes i was back to being able to walk again :/ well it was more of a limp cross crab walk but ya get the point!
Upon further investigation ol' muppet had lost atleast 2 layers of skin on both his sack and his crack! And guess what! I didnt even get a teabag :( even tho my nuts where as smooth and shiny as a porcelin plate! God damn
So blokes take it from me..
NEVER NAIR DOWN THERE!!
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Sorry but I had to laugh if you havn't already don't scratch you balls after putting icy hot on a sore muscle with out washing your hands very well lol that does not feel good either
Lol... My daughter decided that she would nair just below her eyebrows to remove some unwanted hair. Why I dont fucking know but needless to say she had third degree burns above her eyelids for two weeks. Lol. It's funny now but wasn't funny at the time
AnonWhat ever happened to muppet?
Shame you never read this before you tried Nair:
http://www.eroids.com/forum/general/off-topic/never-nair-down-there-a-st...
I remember reading this while I was at work. I was in absolute hysterics and crying with laughter. Funniest thing I had ever read.
hahaha you posted in the wrong thread. I have read THIS thread and in fact participated if you read down a little bit. The product I tried was not nair, it was specifically made for use on the scrotum!!
LOL....so I did. The joys of posting from a mobile phone.
Hope you're feeling better now ;)
AnonDid the same thing but not for 15 minutes haha i did it for 3. Man did it hurt. I dont even wanna think about keeping nair down there for 15 excruciating minutes lol heal up brotha
AnonLol well normally im pretty tolerant bro but daamn did that hurt!
I feel you bro. I've gone down that dark road before and it was not fun.
AnonAaargh the good ol days..
This thread still brings a smile to my face when I see the title ;-)
Anon;$ i should probably stop bookmarking it hoping for bites lol..
Haha....it's worth bookmarking :-P
So you lasted almost 10 minutes with it on there?? I as well learned this the hard way. I was 18 and incredibly intoxicated. Those two facts made it seem like a great idea. I remember putting it on and within a few seconds... oo that tingles... maybe 30 seconds later I was screaming and in the shower. Suck world.
AnonYeh well i expected a tingle bro but 2nd degree burns were not part of the plan haha.. Ohwell we live to learn huh
Bahahahaha your a crack up Bro! Hope the gonads a kooool! Haha funny Kent!
AnonGonads are g2g! Cheers bro
I just cried... you should have asked... it even says on the bottle NOT to use it in your nether regions... roflmao....
AnonWhat can i say! Im a guy ;D instructions are for noobs lol!
and men.
AnonYeh yeh i certainly learnt my lesson ;p
lmfaoooooooooo..... thanks for that bro.. it had been a bastard day but no more after that gut ripper lol......lol
AnonHah no probs big fella its the least i could do ;p
Wow. Just read through all the comments lol.. Thought you were bring serious for a min there ha!
AnonIm deadly serious bro!! Lol :/ its a true story!
I threw in the rusty trombone as a joke but the rest is 100% for real!
It specifically says on the product label not to use it on those areas! ! You probably damaged your testicles because of the thinner skin of that area. I'm sure the skin in that area is painful and damaged.. I'm laughing at you on this one, not with you. Why even use that crap, just shave or get laser treatment.
AnonAll good mate i dont mind being laughed at.. And just so u know i got the mrs pregnant about a month or so after this incident so it definatly didnt effect the sack to much!
Thank you very much!
AnonYw gator bro
So does it hurt?
AnonI dont think 'hurt' covers it mate..
Lol. Great story. +1
AnonThanks mate
i often use it as an ice breaker during awkward inlaw bbqs and such lol.. It doesnt always go down well when i mention the tea bagging tho :/
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkI think as long as you reference classier acts like the rusty trombone, it makes the term "Tea Bagging" a little more paletable.
AnonHehe yeh its probably a bit over the top lol :/ good for a laugh atleast
GearofWarHa ha ha!! This fucking killed me! I used Nair on my chest and back once. ONCE. Never the fuck again. I got the worlds worst headache and like you, had a nasty chemical burn all over my chest and shoulders.
On a side note I love to read and listen to how you silly fucks from across the pond talk. The words and phrases you use kill me. I love reading whatever Viking posts, and get a good laugh when he calls us Yanks "Numptys" and shit like that. Funny as hell when you say lying is "telling porky pies" and so on. Lol! I could also jizz my trousers just listening to Brit women talk dirty in that ice melting accent.
AnonLol thanks for the compliment but im an aussie ;p and yeh nair is not good mate! Should be illegal
Give them a vote if you find it helpful.PermalinkSilly F*s? Charming :-\ lol. I won't talk dirty to you now in my ice melting accent :-P
GearofWarCan I retract my previous statement? A real woman? Here on eroids? Wha?! Other than Grrrll? No way..And you're a Brit? I should've married a Brit. I could just listen to you talk for hours <3
Haha....yep a real British woman here ;-)
PS Although I'm often mistaken for a guy on here :-\
GearofWarI think it's because this place is a, pardon my crudeness, a sausage fest and a sword fight lol. We're not used to seeing ladies around these parts. Especially ladies as bangin' as you.
Looool...that's a very good description of this place! Thanks for the compliment ;-)
GearofWarCredit where credit is due. Nice pics, btw. You should be proud ;)
Thank you ;-)
AnonAm i sensing a bit of a connection going on here between u 2 ;p get a room guys lol
Haha...he's a married man :-P
AnonOh! Well then.. Moving along..
So howd you make your amazing transformation! What kind of diet did u find work best!? Hi fibre? Low carb?! High protein?! Theres a lady at work shes been super stressed about her physique (i think shes flirting with me but im also a married man and wouldnt dare!!) and forever mentioning how she wants to shape up and stuff.. I mean shes 40+ and had the body of a slightly chubby 21 yo! She looks great for her age she just doesnt feel comfortable?! Anyways were forever discussing diets for gaining/losing weight... Maybe u can offer some advice for us?!
Ummmm...feels kinda weird discussing diets under this thread but, oh well, here goes lol.
Well I'm 41 years old, so am about the same age as her. I didn't follow a particular diet. I just cut out takeaway foods and snacking, and halved portion sizes. I did about 45 mins of cardio per day. The weight dropped off. Once I'd lost around 2 stones in weight, that's when I dropped cardio to about 20/30 mins a day and started lifting weights. That did all the shaping/toning. I am still completely natural as I haven't gone down the AAS route yet, but who knows, I may try var at some point.
AnonYeh well youve done a fantastic job! Ur skins tighter than most women had ur age! So u think hardcore cardio might be the way to go!?