hulksmash82's picture
hulksmash82
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Loss of a loved one!

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Hey fellas ,

So I'm writing this to you guys just to get some opinions and insight on my current events. So recently had to put my dog down! He was my best friend and most loyal companion. He was German bloodline Rottwelier unlike any other Dog u would meet. He was very special to myself and my family. As a matter fact he was my child and one of the biggest parts of family. Shit hurts really bad and has completely changed my house hold and and my family. It was unlike any other experience I had to go thru.
My wife and i were there together when i had to put him down and it was the worst feeling i had when I had to feel my dog take his last breath and see him close his eyes. It was so fucked up bcuz I feel like he had so much life in him still but bcuz if cancer growing on his leg he was in pain and was suggested he had to be euthanized. I know to some u say it's just a dog but for me and my family it's different he's family.
So I guess the reason I'm putting this out there is because if anyone has had an experience like mine to chime in! Not necessarily the death of a dog but of a loved 1.
So I was in the middle of a great run about 7 weeks in sust, dhb,npp feeling great making great progress and eating amazingly. But now all that has gone to shit and I dont feel the same. I havent pinned in a week and my eating has been shit if I even eat. i feel like I'm dropping weight quick :(.Just not really getting the urge. I feel like I have knots in my stomach. I also havent been in the gym in like a week and my family is worried bcuz I'm usually there 5 days a week.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is how long does this feeling last? what should I do about my run? should I scrap it and back to trt until my head is on straight and I'm focused again? I really need to get this in order as it has affected me the worst and I have to be my families backbone and strength!

thanks again for hearing me out guys and any input is much appreciated. Plz positive vibes and comments are welcome. Just trying to get thru this rough time.

TheFlash85's picture

Hey bro.
I have the same, its 4 days untill the one year mark of my grandads death.
Training has not been the same.
Less motivation and its a mind thing.
I guess the gym and training just hasnt been as important as b4.
Its like the obsessive part of it dissapeared.
Im off cycle now and really dont even have plans for the next one.
Usually id have it all laid out and prepared psyching up for the next ride.
Time does make things less hard but sometimes you might never fully heal.

hulksmash82's picture

Hey brother, first let me say I'm very sorry for ur loss. It sucks and the feeling of something's missing won't stop. I hear u on the coming off the gear. I had to stop mid cycle. I recently got back in the gym after almost 3 weeks of not going and man, its making me feel better. I have plans of eventually getting back on but with due time once I'm back feeling more normal again. stay up my brother we will get thru this!

HGHDaddy's picture

Hi, Sorry for your loss
No feelings last for ever!
Go gym and work harder and feel the pain in your muscles instead of yor hard

Time is the best medication
Life must go on, You must keep up for other people that loves you

hulksmash82's picture

Hello my good sir.

thanks for those words and ur absolutely correct. only thing it's easier said than done. But Iam getting back to the swing of things. Family still taking it a lil bit rough tho. thanks again for ur thoughts!

hulksmash82's picture

Thank you my brother and u are totally right. I am deeply sorry for ur losses. Ur right on getting up and getting started. I really need something to decompress and gym is starting to look like it's going to be my best remedy. Thanks again brother and deeply sorry for ur losses!

House's picture

Hey I had a cat that was awesome. I never liked cats. So one day I had a friend that worked in the mountains and cats would come to her job and she would feed them she brought one home it did not get along with hers and asked me if I wanted it. So I took her. We set the carrier on the floor she came out looked around and jumped up on my lap. We were best friends since. I swear she takes to me with meows and I would tell her to sit and she would. Venus was her name anyway I had to give her up after like 7 yrs and I still think about her and miss her. Sorry for your loss bud. Try to push through. You going to have to morn your dog. Honor your dog by keeping it moving and getting big!!

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hulksmash82's picture

Hey brother sorry u had to get rid of ur pet and thank u for thre kind words. Your right about honoring my dog. Definitely looking to do that

stang77's picture

nothing like the loss of a pet I lost my 15 year old German Shepherd a while back still think about him every day but what did help me was my new Rottweiler puppy. That I don't think about my shepherd it just helps having a puppy around to help ease the pain

hulksmash82's picture

Sorry for ur loss as well brother. Congrats on ur new pup. Great choice on the Rott. the best dogs ever IMHO but I might be biased!

Bearded_muscle's picture

Scrap the cycle. Keep training but if you aren’t mentally in it no sense in continuing to hammer the anabolics. You might not get the benefits but you’ll definitely get the sides.

When I cycle off I use some gh, focus on health and mobility. Yoga. Finding peace and happiness until I’m ready to go raging bull again in the gym. But what works for me may not work for you.

Keeping you and the pup in my thoughts and prayers. They’re a blessing when they’re with us and a curse when it’s their time to go. At least he’s not in pain anymore and it sounds like you gave him a hell of a life.

hulksmash82's picture

Thank u my bearded brother! Those are some kind words. I think I have decided to scrap cycle until I can get back into the swing of things. Yes thank God he is no longer in pain and yes I tried to give him the best life possible , if not what's the reason for having a pet?

GizmoDuck's picture

I hear ya man. I had a Lhasa for 10 years. Freakin loved the hell out of that dog. It’s hard man. All I do no is remember the good times we had. The crazy funny stupid stuff he would do. Think of those time man. You’ll get thru this. One day at a time brother

hulksmash82's picture

thx brother, sorry for ur loss. That's all i will do is get back to thre groove of things and take each day as it comes

press1's picture

Mate I can completely relate to this, I've had gineau pigs for the last 10 years always in pairs in my living room in a cage. The last one I got to replace another that had just died so eventually it was just me and him, He was alive 3 years then got cancer of the stomach and could no longer eat - had to watch him starve and dehydrate nearly to death for 3 days before I had to take him to be put down as I could no longer let him suffer. He was my favourite of all of them. That was 2 years ago now and it still gets me down if I sit and think about it too long. BUT listen man - You have to go through the shit to feel good again.... Get some food in you and go to the Gym - Train for a good hour and a half and I guarantee you WILL start feeling good again. Take it a day at a time & if you can stay on cycle - within 24hrs things will look much brighter :-))

hulksmash82's picture

thank u @press1for those kind words my friend! Sorry for ur loss on ur pet Guinea pigs my brother. Ur totally right and I need to get back in the gym and try and get out of this funk im in!

Forehead's picture

Man I could lose every human in my life, and not shed one tear, but losing a pet, bro that’s hard... I still don’t cry(not saying crying is wrong) but dude losing a pet fucking sucks :( idk why it hurts way more to me than any human ....my heart goes out to you and your pet :(

hulksmash82's picture

thx for those kind words bro. I know what u mean about why it hurts more. I had an uncle that passed and didn't shed a tear! But the bond and relationship u have with ur pet is totally different! thank u tho!

JL's picture

Condolences. I lost a puppy a few months ago and it still hurts. It will feel better in time. Mourning is completely natural part of loss of a loved one. Keep your head up. Spend some time with loved ones and friends. That helped me a lot. Here to chat you need an ear.

hulksmash82's picture

Thx JL for the positive vibes, bro. sorry for ur loss and thx for ur kind words and listening to my story!

felony's picture

Very sorry for your loss bro. We had to put two of ours down last year. One dog one cat. They came to the house both times to do it. Very peaceful. They both laid in their beds. When we were ready meds were administered and they drifted off. Horrible feeling lots of crying, but it does eventually get better. Hang in there.

hulksmash82's picture

thx bro. I am sorry for ur 2 losses. that experience of euthanasia although peaceful is something I will never forget. It was hard to have to give that order and when u do, to have to have to see and feel them take their last breath. it sucks.

felony's picture

It does suck. For some reason it's part of life. No one gets out alive including our pets. I'd like to think that we get to see them again when it's our turn.
I hope things are starting to get a little easier for you.

hulksmash82's picture

thank u my brother for ur kind words and it difently sucks. I pray I get to see my boy one day again. And yes it's getting a lil bit easier for myself finally starting hitting the gym again but scrapped my cycle I was on. will continue again once mental is fully there! Thanks again brother for ur caring and kind words. : )

Jayzgainz's picture

Sorry to hear about your pup man.
I'm dreading the day I have to say goodbye to mine. He's a 14 yrs old lab and has been with us since he was 10 weeks old. He is absolutely the best friend I've ever had.
Time heals everything though. We're all different so who can say how long you will mourn. I'm sure you have great memories and pictures. Just keep those close and cry it out.

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hulksmash82's picture

Thank u brother for the kind words. and yes plenty of pictures and video. i also had my boy since 8 weeks and he passed at 13. Difently enjoy him while u have him and dont take him for granted while u have him here with u!

Greg's picture

I recommend allowing yourself to cry it out with your family and binge watch the following movies.

A Dog's Purpose
A Dog's Journey
The Art of Racing in the Rain

hulksmash82's picture

thx bossman. The family and I have done plenty of that already! I have seen the first 2 suggestions haven't seen the art of Racing in thre rain. well check it out today!

stang77's picture

That dogs purpose was a good movie.

Manshit's picture

I lost a dog and grieved for five years.It was as bad as loosing my father.Depression set in and I couldn’t shake it for anything.It will pass but we are all different.God bless you for loving so much!Your dog was one of the lucky ones to have had you!

hulksmash82's picture

thx bro. I hope it doesnt take that long. sorry for loss as well.

wanted's picture

A person who never owned there own dog will NEVER KNOW the how strong a bond you can have with a dog... they watch you leave for work and are the first to be waiting for you to get home.. i am sorry for your loss man. To me i have taken the lost of my dogs worse than deaths of family members... im glad to see there our other guys like me that just feel the strongest bond with there pets... wife gets jealous and the kids grow up and move out.
You have to also know you did the right thing of euthanasia no matter how hard it is for you. Atleast your loved animal isnt suffering anymore... its hard bro. So hard ——
Ive been that guy in the gym with tears in my eyes pushing the weight.. but i knew i had to get into the gym and just do something

hulksmash82's picture

wow! allot in common my brother! nothing compares to the loyalty and unconditional love of a dog. I feel the same way about what u said. it's funny bcuz my dog would watch me leave and was at the window waiting for me when I got home! also it's funny u mention the gym part bcuz i tried to go on weds. and i couldn't hold back my tears. i had to leave early. I almost thought i had to get bloods done for high e2! The bond of a person and there dog is unlike anything I have ever experienced. thanks for ur insight brother!

hulksmash82's picture

thank u my brother. and I am deeply sorry for ur loss as well. I know what ur saying about the routine thing bcuz life keeps moving on with without u. and I mean everything...