posted Mon, 09/22/2014 - 22:39
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Theoretical question..... Let's say you were happy married to your wife/husband for 20 years. The most blissful marriage you could ever imagine, the best 20 years of your life. So let's say you were married at 20 and now you are 40, lets say your wife cheated on u 2 years into the marriage for like a week but never told you... Now youre 40 and she never cheated again... would u want her to tell you she cheated on back then>?
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you all do realize your arguing over a post a 22 year old made correct? just saying.
killuminatiomg bro.... i get why youre mad i would be too if i was 40 n some 22 yo came in and intruded on the the reality of sports and BBing... but it doesnt mean u have to go out of ur way and hate on me everywhere i go.... just leave me alone n if u dont like what im saying then help me out or dont say anything at all... u dont have to bash me dude...
first off im not 40 im a few years older than you and im the proof that you don't need drugs at your age cause i damn sure wasn't doing them at your age. you need to tighten up kid is all im saying the way you talk and the way you think of cycling your going to be the man is all wrong. im not trying to hate on you at all im trying to help you and you don't want to hear it. but one day you realize what im saying it true, i don't bash people i try and help them so they don't end up bashing themselves but whatever you don't want to listen , you know it all and you win have a good one.
killuminatiDude u just said In the comment above why are u even commenting on 22 steroid unrelated debate .. How is that even remotely trying to help me out??? Ur pestering me bro...
I'm not gonna lie u have a fuckib amazing physique and u got ur training and diet dialed down but I'm not even remotely as big as I could be we train in completely different sports my dude where I'm trying to avoid mass and gain strength and stamina ..
But to say u got that big off of one cycle or none at all is like saying ur from the planet where they make super saiyans and u have the most freak genetics in the world...
Im not advocating I'm gonna jump on a cycle or anything cuz I'm callin bs and that u got that big using steroids.. I know for a fact u have been hitting the gym consistently to the point of being religious about for who knows how long and dieting down... I'm just saying theirs natty big then their is ur big...
Disclaimer: I don't plan on doing roids for a whole
what got me big bro was acting like a fool when younger and going to prison for a few years, than i picked up a magazine discovered bodybuilding and said that's what i want to do with my life. got out much bigger than i am now and continued , but had a kid , buried family members , moved away bought a house, worked to jobs one construction , one personal training and now im getting back to my ultimate shape. i was onstage with guys bigger than me who i watched get blood test and when they came back they were in the clear, watched them do polygraphs. our banned list included lots of legal sups not just peds, if i cycled when i was younger id gladly tell you , but i didn't man just like my wife hasn't run really anything ever, she was bikini at first and almost went pro never using a thing in her life that's all on my sons life man. gear is a tool that's it not a crutch to depend on, its 60% diet 35% gym and 5 % peds , some guys have to use a ton more some don't and that's the truth. im sincere with why would i hide it man i have no reason to lie , sure im using peds now but nothing crazy and nothing half as hard as guys here. you don't want to believe me than fine i don't care cause i know the truth. i understand you don't want to gain mass , you ever looked into side effects of gear? high blood pressure? blood gets to thick and your heart starts to grow and there goes your stamina theres a lot to it man. more than just eatin pills or shooting shit in your ass theres a lot more , im just trying to help you bro and warn you to do you a favor. i get no benefit you reap all the rewards.
but like i said im done moving on now have a good one.
what is the reason for telling? Is it to ease your self or is there some greater good that can come from it? the measure of a man's character or woman's for that matter is not based on what they say but what they do. In this case, it can only be a case where the telling of it is done for selfish reasons. Having been cheated upon, the only time where the telling is not done in a selfish manner is when the cheating is done in the present. I find that people who are selfish will tell their "loved" ones things out of "honesty" but in reality it is done to exert power and control over the relationship. One must always consider their motives when dispensing the truth... it is a measure of your character to admit when you are doing things for reasons other than the purity of the relationship. just my opinion though ..
mikeyg4321Gosh you're so smart and awesome. Women's now days need to have that mentality like that. Goth is very lucky.
bigwillyIf I was the one that was cheated on, I would want to know mainly because I would want my lady to know that I love her enough to forgive her. I wouldn't want my girl to be carrying that kind of baggage around. 20 years is a long damn time. For me my top priority after God and Country is the happiness of my wife. I've been married for 15 and my life would be nothing without her.
On a side note, the unfortunate part of the situation is that even if it was 20 years ago, this would be a death sentence for the bastard that disrespected me enough to bang my wife.
But that's just how I roll.
Nothing worse than a sancho in my opinion.
Hell no. Honesty is not the best policy if it hurts people for no reason. If it was that long ago, I wouldn't want to know.
killuminatix2 why bring up the past... too make u feel better because ur coming clean with something?? nah ur being a selfish cunt keep that shit to urself and let it be a new day lol
They need to tell the truth....Because had it been my wife, I don't care if it had been 30 years she kept a secret from me and lied for 28 years....Or vice versa the guilt and shame I would feel if I did that to my wife what character does that person have....Cheating in a marriage is Shameful and a Happy marriage none the less.....My advice tell the truth and if they leave hey you deserved it at least the person you claim to love needs to hear the truth....Anyone who says different is because their view of marriage is So Skewed in this world that we live in because I GUARANTEE you if it really happened to them Most Not all would be singing a different tune...
I am curious, are you married? If so for how long? I can tell you from personal experience (married 17 years and together 20) after 20 years together you are different people than what you were back then. Marriage in the early years is a rocky road, fraught with perils. The slightest thing sometimes can destroy it. But as time passes if the foundation of the marriage is strong enough that bond grows stronger and the love deeper. If it is really burning fire in you that must be extinguished then I guess go ahead and roll the dice, but if that woman is your soul mate why would you want to drag up old shit and risk destroying the love of your life?
You are young my friend and I thought a lot like you when I was your age. Time will change you..
Going on 4 years soon....Look in my opinion the person deserves to know the truth and if it doesnt change their feeling about you great but that is their choice to make....I am speaking on mine and my wifes feelings as I share sometimes the post i read with her....and discussed it with her....I know time changes many things but Those are my core values faithfulness in marriage and honest and trust you compromise 1 you compromise them all my original post was worded wrong I respect everyone's opinion....vhman opened my eyes =)
Coming from someone who's been married how long??? We're all entitled to our opinions....
Funny you mention that because That was Mine(OPINION)....It does not matter how long you have been married right is right I dont care how you cut it slice w/e....The person who should "decide" if their okay with it is the spouse thats been cheated on....But just for you I will end it with.... "This is Just my opinion "=O
Maybe you didn't read what you wrote and what I highlighted. Telling people that they are wrong if they don't agree with you is not an "opinion", it's a stance. Glad to see you're so open minded.
When it all boils down it is opinions...Call it a stance w/e you would like....If it helps you sleep at night knowing that its okay to cheat and not tell the truth because you never did it again LOL go ahead....The question is where do you draw the line...A changed person as you claim would have the balls and the decency To tell their spouse that person in my eyes Is a changed person....But again My opinion or stance if you like =)
A long time ago I had information that would hurt my spouse, but make me feel better if I told them. I talked about it often with my therapist and she always said not to tell him. Because it was selfish of me to tell him, it was in the past, it didn't hurt him to now know, but it would hurt him to know. At the time I thought she was insane but I get it now. Why anyone would bring up old shit like that is beyond me. What good would it do?
(using He as an example)What I am getting at is....It was not okay to cheat 2 years into the marriage but he did Now he should have told her when it happened....But why didnt he because..Was he scared to lose her?driven by selfish ambition because had he loved her he would have told her right away but being selfish and not wanting to risk the chance of losing her and being alone he never told her....so 18 years pass thats 18 years you have lived with a lie that could mean so much for the person to know.,..but you would never no only living with the idea in your head that it wouldnt be something they want to know.... but thats not your call to make that is the person who was lied and cheated on descision to make....because were not talking a little fib we are talking being unfaithful the biggest thing in a marriage and for people to say to just let it be is not cool....because the person who was cheated on does deserve to know.... in a marriage you are united as one ....living with that lie puts division deep rooted inside the marriage....But again this is my beliefs not trying to offend anyone =)
So they are both happy, in this case you want him to stop and totally crush his wife? Her life is all sunshine and rainbows and you for some foolish sense of honor believe it is better to destroy that.. My friend, you are wrong. The cheater has been living with knowing what he did for 18 years, that alone is his punishment..
I agree he should have told her when it happened. But he didn't so now he has to live with it for the rest of his life. And I know how it feels to have a huge secret, mine came out thank gawd because it was killing me. (it had nothing to do with cheating) But if he told her now it would crush her and make her rethink the last 20 years. If she asked him, then it would be different.
You really seem to have a problem with reading comprehension. The only thing I am talking about is your stance that everyone is wrong who doesn't subscribe to your thinking.
The rest of your opinion is just that. I really don't care. I will and have called you out for taking the stance that everyone else is wrong. You want your opinion to be honored, so honor others as well. Not that difficult of a concept.
Reading through your post(on this forum post and another 1)....Your a good dude....And I misinterpreted for that I am sorry....Sometimes I don't see whats sitting in front of me and can have a hard head at times so Again I do apologize...
It's all good buddy. I give you props for hearing me out as well. Very best of luck to you.
Not sure why you want to drag up the past. What benifit will it do?
If it's true that this person cheated once and hasn't done it again for almost two decades, I call that person fully repented and changed. Everyone can make mistakes, it's what they do about it that really matters.
Can't help thinking it's you that cheated and now your thinking of fessing up!
If that is the case I'd say let it lie.
What does it matter what we think? It's your life do what feels right for you
Disclaimer: I have trust issues.
So you've found out she cheated 20 years go, just recently? Why would you assume she has not been unfaithful to you at other points in your marriage? Hate to be the devil's advocate, but I'd need to get it all out on the table right now. You really have no idea if she never cheated before or after that. I'd want full disclosure, otherwise I'm ditching her, going on a phat cycle, getting cut to shit, and finding a 25 year old.
I'd think that one week has most likely haunted her for the last 18 years, no need to dig up old skeletons imo.
I agree, 20 years is a lot of time for a person and a relationship to mature. Let it go..