Now, 10 years later, I feel guilty that I didn't go to the gym until the kids went to sleep. And then I felt guilty when I returned home and they were sleeping, and even now when I think about it, I feel sorry because their childhood passed quickly. However, you have to think about yourself if you can no longer acquire both, because young children certainly forget all that when they are a little older. What did I do with them when they were children and now when I ask them something they don't remember 99% of things. So don't feel guilty about going to the gym.

Gym guilt is a real thing. For me the only cure is to work out in the morning. 4 am if needed. That early morning isn’t time the gym is robbing from your family. It’s easier to rob from your sleep than the family.
Good luck. I think gym guilt is just a sign that you are trying to be a good dad and a good husband. That’s pretty damn awesome if you ask me.

You also go out to work and bust your ass for them. I’m sure she feels her own level of guilt. That’s what great relationships are made of. Have you tried working out in the AM? It’s not as bad as it seems. The first week is a little difficult, but you get use to it. I’m at the gym at 5am, and home in the shower by 6:15.

We can’t absolve you of any guilt you feel as every situation is different. For me personally, time with my daughter takes priority over anything and everything in this world. So I adjust my workout schedule to fit that. If that means waking up at 4am to get a lift in or lifting at 10pm, then so be it. Yea it sucks, but that’s part of being a man. Only you know what your true priority hierarchy is. But hey HGH and AAS help make up for some of those lost hours of sleep lol. I’d be fucked as a natural trying to keep up with work, family demands and my own personal lifting goals.

Went through a period of this. Wife was always active in the gym. Had our two little ones and she stayed at home. I felt guilty if i wasn't home for everything especially the gym. Felt guilty if she couldn't go to the gym. What ended up occuring is I would get up at 4am and go to teh gym and come home before anyone was even awake. However after a year+ of getting up at 4am and going to bed late with them 5hrs of sleep wasn't cutting it so that caused its own trouble too.

As others said think we all have been there one way or another. You will get through it.

Think we all have times like that. What you’ve got to weigh up is how well it works for both you and the family. If it’s not working, your wife would probably let you know. I have a close family member with 3 children. Does a 9 to 5 job, no real hobbies or interests so is at home with them more than a lot of us are. He does nothing with them though, sits on his arse and watches TV with a beer in his hand. Honestly, don’t be that guy, crap father. His relationship with his kids is pretty poor.

It’s all a balancing act. As long as the time you spend with your kids is “quality time”, then you’re being a decent father in my eyes.

I built myself a room at home for the exact reason. I work long hours as a concrete finisher and don’t have a set schedule. Even if i work later i get to come home and spend some time with the family before i head back and get my routine completed.

I had a similar conversation with my wife not too long ago. Our conversation wasn’t as much about time at home as much as overall lifestyle. My wife is health conscious but by no means as serious and dedicated to fitness as I am.

She’s never said anything, but there were a few times over the past few weeks when she would do something sweet like bring dinner home from a catered work event that I wouldn’t eat because of calories, we went to a friend’s cook out and brought my own food & didn’t drink, etc.

I felt the need to sit down and make sure that she knew how much I appreciate her, all that she does and that I wasn’t looking down at her, judging her, silently shaming her, etc for indulging. I explained to her that I’m a much better man when I’m locked in at the gym (because otherwise it would be a bottle; can’t be both at one and for me personally it will never be neither). Also, I’m a salesman and everything else being equal if me in top shape presents the same value prop to a potential client as someone who doesn’t take care of themselves I will be more likely to win and therefore able to provide a better life for us. She totally understands and was very grateful that I opened up to her about it.

What I’m getting at is if you can honestly say that your a better man, father and husband by spending that time at the gym you would be doing your family a disservice by not going. You have to be your best to be the best you can be for your family.

Good luck brother!

I know your dilemma all too well brother. It's a fine line to walk I feel sometimes. I'd say one big thing is to just keep that line of communication open with your wife. She's at home all day then most of the evenings as a single parent in a way. It helps to have date nights alone with no kids, good one on one time. Keep the romance alive. And with the kids, not sure of their age, but make sure they still get some good one on one time with dad too, like on the weekends. I feel as I type this it's more of me giving my my own self advice and a reminder of what I need to do. I don't think your being sensitive, your head and heart is right where it needs to be.

Many years ago i was in your shoes 3 sons wife and dog
Man i remmember the same feelings as you. I would be in the gym after 10 hour shift and say WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE. Then i would rush home from work change clothes and take the WHOLE FAMILY dog included to the park. And i didnt just sit there like these FUCKS nowadays on there phone. We ran and we ran alot. I chased my kids my wife and my dog. I did push ups , sit ups , leg lifts , monkey bars. THATS MY FAMILY my EVERYTHING.. when it was raining tht was a different gym time baby. And i would wake my ass up saturday - sunday god awful early on a day off. Pound that GYM And be home intime to wake my kids up with eggs and pancakes when they woke up. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. ITS YOURS

Like they say on an airplane, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else, your useless if you don’t have oxygen

This is one of the reason I workout at like 10 pm. But its hard, on one hand you have to take care of yourself, but on the other hand should you really only see your kids two hours a day? It’s a very difficult dilemma. I go through it also, luckily I don’t work as many hours as you do so I’ve found ways around it, or just workout super late at night, but I know that’s not for everyone either. And no one can tell you wether you should feel quilts or not. That’s entirely up to you and your situation, if you need the gym to keep you from relapsing on drugs and dying then maybe you should be in the gym. Or if your kids are struggling at a new school and acting up and just begging for your time and attention then maybe you should feel quilts, you know what I mean? I know for me, my kids get a better dad because I go to the gym, but like I said, I’m lucky enough to have worked out a schedule that works for everyone. But good luck bud, I’m sure you’ll get it right, the fact that your concerned about it shows you’ll probably make the right choice

You have to look after yourself too buddy, if you aren't feeling good and happy about yourself then you can't be at your best for them either. Its basically your hobby bro and everyone needs their personal me time doing something they really enjoy in life - just because you are not around them during this time doesn't mean you don't love them! I couldn't stand to be in a relationship where the other person didn't have a hobby or things they were interested in, I know its a little different for your wife having 3 children as they will take up all her time now. You are the main provider for the house bud, and everyone deserves their right to some happiness