Thank you for the question GRRL. This question reminds me of a couple of jokes.
1. Why did the woman cross the road?
Answer: nevermind that, what's she doing out of the kitchen?
2. Why shouldn't. Women be allowed to have watches?
Answer: There is a perfectly good one on the stove.

I tell these jokes to illustrate a point. The kitchen is your element. Now before you get all butt hurt I want to ask another question: who do you call to kill every spider ever? That's right, a man. Do we feel that you are sexist because you expectnus to use our badass skills and bravery to kill spiders? Hell no, we gladly do it because its in our DNA. Do we complain because you ask us to kill the spider immediately? Hell know we do not because that's what we do best. Protect and be fearless badasses.
Now back to women. Just as you have expectations for our specific skill set, we have expectations for yours as well. The woman's element is in the kitchen. Your kick ass skills are best magnified behind the stove. We support you and expect you to do your best with what you have just as you do for us because we appreciate your ability to slap something together and feed us so we can kill all of your damn spiders. Now get your shit together and make me a steak.
Thanks for the question.
All my love, Ed

Thank you for the question Bellona. First, let me help you understand that if its a "gathering". It's probably a safe bet that you women forced us to be there. We don't particularly care for "gathering" because: 1. It usually involves hanging out with your family or 2. It usually involves hanging out with your friend's husbands or boyfriends that are generally tools by our own personal evaluation.
So first, you have to be under the understanding thy we really don't want to be there, even I it involves booze. However, if we are going to see something naked, we are more than likely cool with it. But who are we kidding? These types of gatherings aren't going to produce naked women.
So we show up to the gathering and we band with the other men. Not because we like them, but because we share the commonality of not wanting to be there. That and you have talke enough shit about your so called friends that we have absolutely no interest in gettin to know their crazy asses.
If its a family function we are hanging out with your Dad or brothers just because we feel inclined to do so. We don't enjoy it, and we are more than likely doing it because for some reason we feel the obligation to pretend to build a relationship with them. We know that they more than likely think we are dickheads as we know that they know we feel the same way about them. So with family we chat about shit that none of us give a flying rats ass about, just because we are obligated to, and it beats trying to chat with your crazy ass sisters.
As far as what we are talking about with your friend's husbands or boyfriends, well, that too is trivial, sometime we will talk about how bad the gathering sucks balls, but that's about as deep as it gets, just because we don't want to put on the impression that we want to be buddies outside of the gathering.
On some very rare occasions we will hit it off with another dude at the "gathering" and no, we aren't talking about penis sizes, we are talking about how shitty the party is and probably about one of the ladies in the groups large fake breasts. Not in adoration but generally in mock.

I hope this answers your question. We are not being shady, we just don't want to be there. If we seem shady, it's probably because we are are feeling shady on the inside. Shady about the whole damn situation. We are optimists, so we are just making the best out of your need to pair us up with a bunch of tools for a shitty man-date.
Hope that helps. I'm sure nitty would never dare tell you this, and he will deny feeling this way, but that's the way it is.
All my love,
Ed.

Thank you for the question Grrrl. You see, this is where you as a woman are wrong in your assumptions. We men like to be tough while making you women think that it's all an act, when in reality, we are even more badass than you think we are pretending to be. We just want you to think that deep down we are all softies so we can get the hook up. That Girly, is the complex nature of a man.
Now go make Goth a sandwich.
All my love,
Ed

The things a dude will do to get a few points...

I hear ya trypt, I think that's the first mistake ladies make. They think they understand us and that is what we want them to think. It helps us avoid complex conversation while we are watching the fights.