Djimbe's picture
Djimbe
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+ 1 Im a walking Project - Noob needs serious help!

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I am a MESS, and a total N00b, so bear with me, and speak in Digestible bites, please ;)

I need to raise my Test levels (should that be done before I do anything else - like with some kind of PCT to stabilize me before I do anything that might drop my levels even further?) pretty badly, I have Herniated Discs in my spine, and I REALLY REALLY need to Shred. I just need to drop bodyfat as quickly as is humanly possible. I have tried EVERY Diet known to man, the best i can do is Intermittent Fasting combined with SUPER Strict Paleo (NO carb Paleo) and even then its got to be done while maintaining Ligament and Tendon strength because I JUST suffered a knee injury I am Rehabbing.

I dont really care about Muscular Size Improvements or Muscular strength gains. Strength gain would be NICE , but I need to be Smaller, not bigger , and if I cant get stronger without getting bigger I frankly couldnt be bothered. In fact I would pretty much sacrifice everything except for my tendon and ligament health to shred all the BF off me in one go. (Magik wand style, you know)

I have 4 seprate Issues

1) Knee injury caused by Judo.
Happened a month ago and is healing rather well, but would like to get back to 100% or better if at all possible. Hyperextended the knee by a 320 lb Black Belt sitting on it.

2) 3 Herniated discs in my spine
(Between C's 3-4-5-6) weakness in left arm, muscular atrophy. couldnt move it at all for a while but it can move all directions now, just weak as shit. This is what has lead me to Steroid use as an alternative. this has been going on for 5 years now and my body has gone to shit - Ill try to post pics but its not pretty. At all.

3) LOW testosterone levels. Like 300s low.
Doctors basically told me they wont do shit until they are below 200.
I used to live with three women and fuck like a racehorse until they gave me meds to "fix" my Autism... now Im lucky if I pop off once every 2 weeks , and I went from looking like the hulk to looking like the Blob. I am tired ALL the time and I dont know what to do about it, And Im done with the "well you're still breathing and not bleeding, so nothing is wrong with you" mentality/treatment.

4) IM BIG AS SHIT.
Always have been. Like 400 lbs range whether in shape or not. I would like to shed all of my BF as fast as humanly possible. Im 6'6" tall and have a 46" waist and 40" thighs. I also wear size 6X gloves. Ive done Martial Arts all my life, and I can drop into the Splits right now, kick above my head, all of that. Never had an Issue moving, but would like my cardio to be better if at all possible.

(Oh, and Im kind of Broke right now so the cheapest soloution would be best - I spent my savings going to an Unexpected funeral right after going to my yearly certification. - either that or I will just have to wait & save up, either or)

NOTE
I work my ASS off EVERY DAMNED DAY in a losing battle to Fight my Genetics, so PLEASE dont tell me to "work out" or "run" or anything about Diet. I have a VERY strict Regimen - 5X more strict than some of the Pro Fighters that i work with - which nets my ass not even 1/10 of the results. If you arent going to be helpful p[lease save your comments and jokes for someone else.

Thank you in advance to those that are Helpful.
~J

**EDIT: MEALS/FOOD **

I pretty much eat the same every day, so Im going to list whats in my kitchen :

Frozen (veg):

Kale
Broccoli
Spinach
Collard Greens
Turnip Greens
Mustard Greens
Cauliflower

Frozen (meats):

Beef Bacon (ends)
Pork bacon (ends)
Chicken Hearts
Chicken Livers
Chicken thigh quarters
Beef Ribs
Pork Chops
Chorizo Sausage (Ahmish farm)
Kilbasa (Ahmish farm)
Ground Beef

Refrigerated:
Eggs
Minced Garlic
sliced Jalapenos
Sliced Pepperonchinis
Salsa
Distilled water.
Almond Milk
Organic Milk

Frozen (spice):

Habaneros
Pablanos
Jalapenos
Ginger (root whole)
Onions (white and Red, chopped)
Bell Pepper (chopped)

Fats:
Palm Oil (Red African)
Coconut Oil (LouAnna brand)
Grassfed Butter.(Anchor brand, Australian)
Sesame Oil (only used as Flavoring)

Pantry:
ALL the hot Sauces (not listing)
Kidney Beans
Black Eyed Peas
Soy Sauce
Vinegar (Bragg)
Rice wine
Almond Flour
Coconut Flour
Coconut Sugar (used for guests)
Honey (used for guests)
Gluten Free Granola
Gluten Free (Brown Rice/Wheatless) pasta

Fresh Veg:
I buy whats in season, but I tend to follow the above Patterns^.
I also tend to get:
Nappa Cabbage,
Bok Choi,
Leeks,
Cilantro,
Cucumbers
Bananas
Tamarind
Melon
Papaya
Tomatillos
Peppers of all types

Dry Spices:
Granulated Garlic
Granulated onion
Cayanne Pepper
Tumeric
Curry Powder
Masala powder
Ground Ginger
Crushed Red/Chipotle Peppers

Other (supplements - all taken daily):
I take a Liquid Multi,
Azomite powder
Dolemite Powder
Psyllium Fiber (4x/day-every 2 hours)
Knox Geletain (one packet with each psyllium for the Collagen for my Joints)
Blended protein shake for when I dont have any time. (rare)
Vitamin D
Kitamin K
Probiotics
Garcinia Cambogia extract
L-Tyrosine
L-Phenylalanine
Taurine
Genseng
Garlic
Green Tea Extract
Cod liver Oil
Vitamin C
Zinc
Flush Free Niacin
Cinnamon
Oil of Oregano
Tumeric Extract

I tend to do a lot of Stir Frying and Steaming using a traditional Bamboo steamer Cast Iron Skillets and a Wok. I also bake chicken pork Chops and Ribs in a Gas Stove. I typically use frozen Veg above and a meat, plus spices and a Fat to cook them in. I tend to consume about 2-3 lbs per day off the above list, and I do it all within the hours of 4pm-12 am. (intermittent fasting). I Distill all my own water and drink two-three gallons per day on avg And I use distilled water in all my cooking and in my Tea which is the only thing i drink that is not water, and I only drink it in my feeding window. (Thinking about adding Bulletproof coffee however, even though i HATE coffee) After all of this i am STILL always hungry. but its enough to stop me from passing out/being light headed all the time. I tend to eat my supplements at 4pm, and start cooking then,eat at like 445-5pm, then again at 9-10 (depending on schedule) then again at 1130.I usually take the supplements that need to be taken with food at the last meal. Every day i eat at LEAST a lb of greens and a Protein source. I tend to have Brown Rice Pasta once every 2 weeks , Bacon Sausage and Kidney Bean Chili once a week, and I will have Granola with a combination of Almond and Organic milk up to 3x/week when I am pressed for time, usu combined with 100-150 grams of a Protein shake.

EDIT Training

Sunday:

Grappling class, 11 AM(3hrs)
Yoga for Fighters 2p (hour)

After that I usually do 3x rounds (30sec on /30sec off/5min) of Sprints work on my basics for about an hour (rolls, Ukemi, forms) and O-Lifting (30-40 min).

Percussion with DJs - 6p-2am. I usually play for all of that minus an Hour. We also have to load in all the instruments and 24,000 watts of sound, which we spend at least another hour before and after doing.

Mon - reserved for Private Lessons, Usually my only day off. Shop, pay Bills, whatever.

Tues -
classes (11a-2p and 6-9p)
Throw 1000 Strikes on heavybag (full force work it in between classes or after)
Work in Yoga
Percussion with live band (10-2a)

Wed -
Privates - mostly Thai Pads and Mitt Holding (3-4 hours scattered between dawn and 5p)
Mechaism training, Tumbling/gymnastics, Gripwork, Speed/double end bag, Dummy training, Kettlebells, Tumbling
Class (6-9p)

Thurs -
classes (11a-2p and 6-9p)
Throw 1000 Strikes on heavybag (full force work it in between classes or after)
Work in Yoga

Fri -
Privates (usu 2 hours, sometimes 3)
Sprints, Basics, O-Lifts
Sparring day. (4-10p) (everyone cycles out its all up to who shows, there is a lot of instruction here and usually no more than an hour in the ring for me)

Bouncing (After hours Club 1-5AM) I dont just throw people out, I dance. I know this sounds silly but it works, more like hosts than security, it stops fights but I actually only spend an hour to 1.5 hours dancing/night

Sat -
Class - Grappling only (8-11a)
Throw 1000 Strikes on heavybag

Open for Padwork until I have to work, it varies, usu 2-5 hours.

Bouncing (After hours Club 1-5AM) I dont just throw people out, I dance. I know this sounds silly but it works, more like hosts than security, it stops/prevents fights but I actually only spend an hour to 1.5 hours dancing/night

DAILY:
Pretty much after that I have to hold pads until 10 (at least) Every day, and of course clean up, etc.

Denser's picture

"well your JUST above this number so Im afraid to ..." seriously thats what he said. He was afraid of losing his license.

This is very common among doctors in the US - depending on the state and of course the doctor's mindset/personality. I suggest you look for a more open-minded and less fearful doctor. Your natty test levels are a critical factor in determining your course of action. Kudos for posting all this information including your updates with diet information. Good luck. +1

thepullmanator's picture

after reading everyones posts my question is this

If you are so confident in your diet and excersize then why not post up what you are eating and what times on a daily basis and a general outline of your work outs

then at least ppl can see what you are doing that ISNT working for YOU and maybe can help

also what exactly is your question/goal?

did i miss it or is

i want to shred

your only hint at such?

im NOT trying to be condensending, my goal is this, if you post up the things i have asked and becoming willing to maybe learn a few things and not be so hard headed to advice(just an observation) then maybe, Most likly deff, guys on here will be able to help

P.S.
I was 5 10 280lbs before i came to this website and you can veiw my profile to see for your self, age and test levels mean dick, Weight is hard to loose, Im 23 with test level of 318 and now weigh 235

Djimbe's picture

PullManator. Its not like the guy just came into the thread and sais "so what is your diet like, Jim?" or "what did you eat in the last 24 hours and when?" Or "So can you give me a picture of your Physical Activity schedule?" He first insulted me , and then pretended to give a shit. I dont see why my reaction is unwarranted. He was insulting and belittling. thats not someone who wants to help you thats someone that wants to "School" you or "prove you wrong". And again, I didnt ask for help with my routine, for all anyone here knows I have Charles Glass himself writing that part for me.

My goals are to rectify the four specific issues that I listed. I numbered them. Genetix was able to respond based upon the questions I asked, without the schoolyard bully tactics. Why is his approach so hard?

Edit: Called Pullmanator "Pullmaster" ... sorry about that.

thepullmanator's picture

In fact I would pretty much sacrifice everything except for my tendon and ligament health to shred all the BF off me in one go. (Magik wand style, you know)

that and other statements are why some came off as hard as they did, bottom line here is the guys on this website are dedicated HARDWORKING mothafuckers and dont like it when someone comes in asking for magic wand advice

BUT i implore you!!!!! if you want some advice post up your diet and we can help, post up your gym/dojo routine

and im asuming that is you in your avatar pic?
if so or even if not so....the truth is you are not special, the human body is the human body...unless you have any kind of deficiencies? (diabetes etc...) diet and exercise is the problem
but if you think you KNOW that they are not the problem then post up and prove it

Djimbe's picture

The above statement that you quoted ... "Magik Wand Style" was another way of saying "in A Perfect World" or "If I had a Geenie"... I understasnd that the world ISNT perfect or I wouldnt have friends like my man Vic that does NOTHING, smokes weed & eats EVERYTHING and has an 8-pack while I cant do anything.

Djimbe's picture

Thank you sir, for being on-topic and answering the question that I ASKED.

On that ...
Dosage? How much for how long?
How much should it cost (whats a good price?)

clemson91's picture

I think a good start would be to get a full blood panel something like this:
http://www.privatemdlabs.com/lab_tests.php?view=all&show=1033&category=1...

Be careful before taking anything, you say your on meds for your Autism, maybe ask your doctor to switch up your meds, mixing anti-psychotic meds with other meds/drugs could be really dangerous.

In a promo × 1
Djimbe's picture

I have gotten my bloodwork done, its how I know where my Test levels are at.

I WAS on Straterra, and before that a couple of other things but after this happened I went off of them, but my Test levels never came back up. My current physician WANTS to put me on Risperdal (SP?) but i just learned that it has a 50/50 to give you ACTUAL BREASTS>??? Nofuckingwayokaythankyoubyenow!!! So it looks like I wont be on anything at all exept perhaps Adderall, but I may just stop taking it when Im on Cycle unless it proves to be a miracle drug to me somehow..

clemson91's picture

I had mentioned getting the full blood panel so you could see where your thyroid levels, along with a few other levels are at, since you are having trouble dropping body fat, your thyroid could be an issue.

I have a friend that teaches autistic students, and it's terrible how the drugs they give to those kids fixes one problem and causes ten more.

In a promo × 1
Djimbe's picture

Bigun you actually ARENT being a dick, but come on, bro I think the FIRST POST one of the guys accused me of being involved in PROSTITUTION? And with one of my EXES no less? Thats not someone that deserves "being an ass" to? Im not going to get slapped in the face by this asshole and not choke him the fuck out. Would you?

Im just saying that thats not what I call "trying to help" at ALL. You are cool, totally. Thanks for your opinion minus the insults. Greg and Ed? Not so much bro. Not even.

Greg's picture

Tough love... works everytime.

You're welcome ;-)

Ed sends his love too... (no homo)

Greg's picture
  1. Google RMR... here's a start: http://www.caloriesperhour.com/tutorial_BMR.php
  2. Figure yours out.
  3. Eat less than that.

It is simple math. Do it.

I work my ASS off EVERY DAMNED DAY... I have a VERY strict Regimen

Doing what? how many calories do you burn? how many do you consume?

PLEASE dont tell me to "work out" or "run" or anything about Diet...

I have an idea. Why not take this approach, "My diet and exercise regimen doesn't seem to be working. I'm open to any idea that will help me out".

I'm not buying your excuses and half truths. Your lack of discipline will not help you in your attempt to use AAS as a diet aid. You're better off spending your money as Ed suggested below.

Djimbe's picture

Greg:
Im not selling you anything. I didnt ask for opinions on what you think I am and am not doing, and Im not here to play baby games. You arent someone that I have to "prove" anything to. I know how hard I work and how strict my Diet is and how little change there has been in spite of it. You also dont know how big I STARTED.

If you have no STEROID advice for me, then you have nothing for me. If you honestly are still stuck on the "Calories in/Calories out" model then you know very little about those of us that suffer from Obesity. Im happy for you that you dont have to share that burden. But as for calling (or insinuating) me a liar... Take your sense of superiority somewhere else please.

Barabbas's picture

Honestly bud these guys are all correct. Greg is trying to help you the healthy way. No one and I mean no one here is gonna give you steroid advice without any hard facts of what you consider hard work and strict diet. I have a buddy that was 380lbs 6'2. And I was able to get him down to 320lbs on diet and real hard work. AAS is not a wonder drug bro. What's your diet and workouts? Post it and post pics. We can help ya with getting the weight down through diet and good hard core workouts but I for one would never give aas advice to you.

Greg's picture

I was obese and lost weight following the "Calories in/Calories out" model. So you should say, "I'm happy for you that you no longer have to share that burden". Also, I am not acting superior, I'm calling you out.

You are not offering much in information. And you seem closed to any idea -or combination of ideas unless it involves AAS and only AAS.

I may suggest walking 3 miles every day, reduced carbs and "X" amount of test. But you appear to be closed to that. In fact, you appear to be demanding and arrogant. You come across as someone who thinks he can take AAS, and sit on the couch and watch the pounds melt away. Here's the honest truth -"IT DON'T WORK THAT WAY".

If you want someone to assist you need to shed your notions and be open to everything. You need to be honest more to yourself at how much effort you are putting in.

What is your RMR? what is your diet? what is your exercise routine?
Tip number one: Get your blood work done. You are obese; what are your estrogen and test levels now?
What is your Blood Pressure now?
Where do you want to be in one year?

Whis is a process it will take several months/years to get to where you want to be. If you can't graciously accept advice and be open to it, than you will not get it.

VIKING EVOLUTION's picture

NOTE
I work my ASS off EVERY DAMNED DAY in a losing battle to Fight my Genetics, so PLEASE dont tell me to "work out" or "run" or anything about Diet. I have a VERY strict Regimen - 5X more strict than some of the Pro Fighters that i work with - which nets my ass not even 1/10 of the results. If you arent going to be helpful p[lease save your comments and jokes for someone else.

Thank you in advance to those that are Helpful.
~J

I suspect this will be the only comment this thread gets after reading the above.............. :/

Engineereddisaster's picture

I think it should read: "If you aren't going to tell me what I want to hear by telling me a way to lose weight without diet, working out or running then please save your comments for someone else. "

If that's the case bro here is my advice: go to the doc and get your stomach stapled, get liposuction, and have skin removal surgery.
I know money is tight but that's why we have Obamacare.

Next enroll in a Free Zumba class at your local retirement home. The shit is free and they won't push you too hard. This will help you maintain your weight loss.

As far as gear is concerned, once you are thin, you will be able to go back to those girls that you were living with and hit them up for some sex for pay.

You are very welcome!

All my love, no homo
Ed

Djimbe's picture

Ed, I work out 4-6 hours on a slow day. in fact its my job. Thanks for not knowing what youre talking about. Im not out of shape, Im just fat. I know plenty of skinny little boys that simply cant hang with me. Or lift my gym bag. Thank you for your time. but I asked for Steroid advice not shitty jokes/ insults. If you are lacking knowledge on the subject please just move on . I have no interest in your antisocial antics.

Engineereddisaster's picture

Dear Djimbe,
I don't think that there is a single person in these threads that wouldn't be happy to help you. Unfortunately, you have a few character flaws that may be hampering your personal growth. Let me name a few:
1. You think that steroids is going to magically make you skinny.
Wrong bro. If you take the juice, and are working out as much as you say you are and can't lose weight, then the only think the juice will do is make you look like a damn wAter baby.
What you need to do is calculate your caloric baseline. This is the amount of calories that you can consume each day without gaining weight and without losing weight. Be it 2000 calories of 5000 calories doesn't matter. Once you figure that out you need to cut the calories and portion them correctly. If you can't lose weight then likely your caloric baseline is quite low. You are just more efficient than some at burning fuel.
2. You think you know all but beg for help.
The first step is to realize that you really don't know shit about losing weight. If you did you wouldn't be a fatass. I believe you that you are strong, but really you don't know shit about losing weight. The first step is admitting that. I think it's great that your big ass can do the splits but really, that shit will only be helpful in prison.
3. You are a douche bag.
Chill bro, be happy, enjoy life. Come to the boards with a positive attitude and you'll see some pretty damn awesome people spend an ass load of their time working with you.

I think I could name more if I had time and knew you better, but I say fix this shit and get help. If not, enjoy having your titties slap you in the face when you run. But hey at least with those big hands you can get a good enough grip to hold them down.

All my love, no homo
Ed

Barabbas's picture

Lmao ED, well said sir,well said. It's crazy how ppl think that AAS is a magic shot/pill that is gonna fix there fucked up habits. "Eat CLEN, TREN hard and TEST your limits".

Engineereddisaster's picture

Thanks bro. Smile