I've noticed that many of you have an affinity for midgets and trannies.
We want to make everyone happy so we've decided to offer Tranny Midgets (best of both worlds) for a limited time.
Obtaining Tranny Midgets isn't an easy task but luckily it's a little easier than getting Primo or Mast.
We'll be renting them out and also have a lease to own program with a low APR. Scratch and Dent models are available for those who want a big thrill without the big bill.
We've teamed up with Gentle Oriental Midget Rental llc. which will allow for a more niche selection.
First 10 orders receive a complimentary bottle of Super-Tren 10,000....
DISCLAIMER:
The statements made in this advertisement have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, the Department of Common Sense, your grandmother, or that one guy at the gym who claims he “used to bench 405 in high school.”
Results may vary depending on genetics, sleep quality, caffeine intake, emotional stability, lunar alignment, and whether Mercury is doing whatever weird thing people blame on Mercury.

Side effects may include:

Excessive confidence
Random flexing in reflective surfaces
Referring to yourself in the third person
Sudden urges to explain “optimal protocols” to strangers
Buying more black t-shirts
Believing every ache is “just inflammation”
Temporary inability to stop saying “light weight baby”

Do not use if you are allergic to gains, accountability, or hard work.

Consult your physician before use, especially if you:

Think pineapple belongs on pizza
Still use “YOLO” unironically
Have ever started a sentence with “Back in my day…”
Believe 3 sets of curls qualifies as leg day

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, including laziness, bad decisions, or texting your ex after midnight.

If symptoms persist for more than 4 hours, congratulations — it’s probably your personality now.