posted Fri, 03/03/2017 - 11:49
2950
Hey
ad
Hello guys, been reading here for ages, as probally many do and decided to sign up today. Have been lifting for 10+ years, in my 30s.
Started my first cycle (blast and cruise) a year ago and going strong :-)
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
backonroidsI don't know if you've used sources on here or not (if you have don't say which ones on here ) but you can also post it for the source
buzeboOnly one and this source is not listed here. At least i cant find it. And the rest was domestic dealer, but the brands were real. You cant ship inside our "rich" little country without the customs being too picky.
buzeboKinda "Offtopic" now: I have alot to add, i tested alot of brands with my labmax kit, tested a few sources but since stealth packaging is soo hard to find and then combined with good products.. almost impossible. I live in europe, but not the European-Zone. So our packages ghet trough customs.
But i could add some of my labmax results for different labs.
backonroidsThat would be brilliant .. post under labs . People will really appreciate them , don't forget to read the rules if you haven't they are key
buzeboSo far only lab tests. by sources i ment in my country and thats so small, probally 0,1% of users are from there.
Oh, i forgot, recently i found 1 online shop source which i could review and has stealth packaging, but thats about it. Nobody really gives a damn about stealth packaging.
From the labmax test i have tons of pics. Where can i open a thread? Should i just make one thread and post all Brands and if the color was right / what i felt?
backonroidshttps://www.eroids.com/forum/steroids-qa/anabolic-steroids/new-guys-this...
I made this post earlier something on there will help you with the site , you seem a legit honest guy , but still no harm in reading the links on it
buzeboThat was the full and honest truth. If i'd go lying then rather by being mr. perfect. Id not go into really detail details because we are still in a risky platform. Iam from Europe BTW and you can guess which war torn countries i mean.
Thanks for the link. I will appreciate it.
backonroidsNow let's talk about something less depressing (excuse the pun :-p) what are your goals , stats etc
buzeboI was very fit in my late 20. Did MMA, broke my foot and never got my form back, got a fat stomach (but was still happy without depression haha)
Iam a bit over 6'2". 220, maybe 13%
Keep in mind that i have small bones. Wide shoulders but just tiny forearms and bone-structure in general. My normal weight without training would be arround 160 pounds
backonroidsSorry if it seems I'm picking , I'm not at all , just conceded about you that's all I've been in the same situation in a low point of my life that's hard to get out of but believe me you can !!
buzeboFeel free no worries. It is a relief to talk about it at least online. Because in real life you'd never guess i had depression. Just from the looks alone. And i never talk about it with anyone. But the soul inside my head is sometimes dark as night.
backonroidsMate it's a community here all about being open , feel free to add me and message me if you ever need a chat .. there are a few people on here that have been through the same - chin up keep winning
backonroidsHello .What made you decide a blast and cruise ?
buzeboYea thats an interesting question, because it wasnt my plan to begin with. I tend to get extreme phases of depression (nervous and anxies all the time, thought about suicide many times in my 20s - reason probally because born in a warzone and lived there for 7 years) , but have managed them well for the past 5 years, so i thought i have won. But shortly after i started the depression came back out of nowhere and it was too late to stop allready because of shut down. So i had two choices, keep on going and not make this depression any worse, or stop and risk my life.
backonroidsWow deep shit , sorry to hear .. just to be clear has the course helped your depression ? Have you had bloods done ? As you say stop and risk your life , masking it through using steroids may not be the best plan of action and is probably doing more bad than good . I would maybe go counciling try and find the underlying cause for the desperation .. you can't be on cycle for the rest of your life mate not good !
buzeboThanks bro, actually after the Test kicked in, the depression went away to a big degree. Bloods have been done regulary, everything seems fine, except that my neurotransmiter (serotonin) is low when iam depressed - for some odd reason.
I just dont want to risk it yet, iam not sure if iam stable. Serotonin have or not have is like night and day, trust me. The ones who had depression know what iam talking about.
I did some research and found that Test binds to Serotonin, maybe thats why the test helped and thats also why the depression wasnt there in my teens and early 20, as my Testosterone was probally rocket high.
backonroidsI've had severe depression and anxiety so I know exactly what you are going through! I have sat in the same spot Day and night in tears wanting to kill myslef ! You are NOT alone with this .. no medication could help me I tried it all .. then one day I looked in the mirror and thought "fuck this shit , in strong this is not going to beat me !" And from that day I struggled drug free , changed my lifestyle , my foods , my daily routine , listened to sleep hypnosis therapy! Wasn't easy but i did it , and I was basically dead .. so if I can do it soo can you !
I don't know what other is about test but I had such bad anxiety my whole life as long as I can remember and I've tried every dam drug the doctor can prescribe and the first time I ever took test it all went away like 100% away
buzeboThen Test was the root of your cause. I had my Test levels tested and they were allways high arround 1000. My problem is probally dopamin or serotonin.
backonroidsIt must be down to low testosterone levels , I know it can cause some of the above symptoms . But are you able to cycle on and off Test with sufficient breaks in between?
buzeboThanks for the kind words and sorry for our shared illness. For me, the weird part is that the depression just goes from one day to another. And its not a winther depression where you have low Vitamin D (Vit. D is actually not a Vitamine). Thats the frustrating part. When i snap out of it after months, or years, i think why the fuck did i have depressions? What a moron i'v been. And then when it is back i try to combat it. Maybe the next time i get out of it i shoudlnt act like a macho man and find the solution, when iam in super condition mentally again.
For me its either super depressed, cold inside, or super optimistic and happy.
backonroidsYou'll find by talking to people openly even in a forum will help , yes and your right don't be a macho man about it but take it day at day buddy ..
buzeboIts just the waiting that is frustrating. I know its gona go away, but when is that day. Tomorrow? in 2 weeks, months? Are we talking years? Just so random.
I tried meds aswell. Mainly Serotonin-uptake-inhibitors, but they work solala (do you know this term?). They dont fix the root and my bad thouights are allways stronger. Xanax blows it away though, but you cant, or shudnt use Xanax everyday obviously.
backonroidsWe don't get xanax down this end diasipam i was on not as fast acting but longer in the day .. doctors prescribe daft amount like 2mg so was self prescribing 10mg a day not good just masked it , smashed beta blockers all day for my heart prescribed by doctors and some stupid arse anti depressants that I just stopped taking like a idiot and multiplied everything by 100 , caffeine seems to be a big anxiety trigger for me , well not a trigger but makes it more intense . Just try changing a few things around and see how you go (life style choices) blasting and cursing will mess you up in the long run , so if I was you I would work with the guys on here on getting mentally strong rather than appearance and get you on some safer cycles in the future.
buzeboMy doc prescribes me Xanny like its a snickers bar... no second thoughts. Good i have a large knowlege about many things, so i can kinda medicate myself. I only use it when absolutely needed.
The problem with my depression is, that sometimes, iam nervous all the time. Iam sure you know that feeling when you are about to make a speech infront of a class, exactly that feeling i got in the stomache for 24/7, for years. Now thats fucking hard to handle iam telling you.
Some years went by and my depression was more towards tiredness.
At the end it was allways back, probally just because of the things i saw as a kid. We were right in the middle and you dont want a child to see dead bodies ripped appart from bombshells laying arround.
But to sum things up, the roids did make it better, deffinitly. And with better i mean there is still 50kg horseshit i have to eat every day (just to put it in words that show, it is still hard, but its less harder then to eat 100kg horse shit a day.) Does that make any sense haha... sorry.
backonroidsThe worst thing for me was anxiety attacks they where so intense it was like i would stop breathing and kept think was going to urinate myself .. not nice .
Best thing to do for now is just read around the site and any input you can on whatever topics you have knowledge in , talk about what you love it will help you out .
Then work towards maybe having a break off the old gear , and slowly try and get off the medication .. it won't be easy but YOU CAN DO IT!
buzeboI mean i definitly could do a PCT, have everything on hand. From hcg, to clomid, to nolva. Also non-surpressing sarms to help recovery/bridge... so if i would be mentally healthy i would deffinitly take a break, but the risk bro, its just too high. Who knows what happens. All of sudden i have low Serotonin AND low Testosterone. Thats a bad combination. At this stage any post could be my last i would guess.
backonroidsI wouldn't be able to advise on the pct for a cycle so long , I'm a mess is more kind of guy little cycles of test the odd oral low dose . So simple pct
But maybe when you feel ready make a new post outline some issues you have etc and I'm sure some good advice will come your way .
buzeboWhat i found out to really help immidiately with depression and is legal (in most countries) is Kratom. You can make a tea out of it and drink it. Kratom works like an opiod, but it is not one. It was way better then all the medicine my doc gave me. But at the end iam well aware of the fact that one day (not my last haha), i should be off any medications and be healthy. I hope for that day to come and i know it will come.
I'v done research on it so watch out, it does surpress your Testosterone production by a margin. Obviously if your on roids, i dont think it does by binding to testosterone or something abstract like that. I think it has something to do with the opiod like effects (being a none-opion!) on the HTPA.