please help!
Ok Ladies! I am in some desperate need of help, that only a lady or woman can give. I am a single father of 3 girls 15 14 12. I am the 95% custodial parent. I have been doing the best i can for the last 3 or more years now.
My god though WTF is going on with them right now? They have always been very respectful, perfect grades like the perfect young ladies. Just the last 2 years i swear to god i am going absolutely nuts. These girls are from an alien planet. Is it the age or what? Arguing is non stop, they openly about boys and what their friends are doing. I get the whole "i am not here look" when im scolding one or all of them. Its non stop, if it wasn't for the love I have for them i swear to god I would run the fuck away. Is this natural for a mr. Mom to feel like running away just for a little bit? I dont know i have just gone through another wierd moment of explaining myself for hours to just waste my breath AGAIN. Advice would be appreciated Ladies.
Thanks
Jester
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IM A STAY AT HOME DAD AND HAVE PRE TEEN GIRLS AND YES ITS NORMAL TO WANT TO RUN AWAY FOR A BIT..LOVE STOPS YOU FROM DOING IT THOUGH...
Hey brother I'm in a similar situation.I'm recently divorced from my second wife.We have a seven year old son together that we have split custody of.I have an eleven year old daughter from my first marriage that I have full custody of.In fact she has only met her birth mother twice last time she saw her she was only four.Anyway my second wife has raised her since she was three.She has always treated her a little different than our son.When we split she pretty much has nothing to do with her really broke my daughters heart.It's been pretty rough lately she been acting up and mouthing off.I just try to be firm but not too rough.Just have to stick to your guns and let them know your the boss but not too firm that that they wont come to you with there problems.She tries to pull that my friends get to do this or that crap all the time.I just say there parents must not care about there kids as much as I care about you.Just stick in there brother all we can do is the best we can.
Right on man! Im not alone, your right thats how i am every once in awhile the hammer has to get slammed down, its like they purposely fuck with us. My daughters canf stand their mother and im always making sure they see her, its sad. That ex girl should be ashamed of herself, i have learned though alot of woman are extremely selfish. I still hang and take my ex girlfriend's kids out and she still talks to mine. Its funny i read all those stupid books on raising kids and non of those authors were parents were parents themselves. I am glad they feel open to talk to me. Just sometimes its an overload! Thanks bro i believe we are stronger men for doing right by our children. You know though it gives me a whole new perspective of how hard a mothers job is. So to alm the men out there that think your wife has it easy being at home taking care of kids, while your working. Im going to tell goj the same i tell my guys at work; bring her home some flowers a card and tell her how much you appreciate what she does being a stay at home mother. All my guys that work are always complaining about their old ladies just sit at home. It is emotionally and physically torturing sometimes. i w_ould much rather be at work any time of the day.
The last couple of weeks has been hell! Its 8th grade graduation and dance thing was out of the park. The whole dress shopping not for on dress our 2 dresses but like f-ing 100s of options that just preparing for the shoes! The only good i get out od it is checking out all the hot NON single moms or woman. Our i am just looked at like he must be married look he has kids. I swear i am never going to find a decent woman. Well anyways so now i have these stupid teenage party things, if its not one drama affer another. Be lucky you have girl and a boy i here and see a huge difference. Sometimes i wish they were back in the shitty diaper stage!
AnonIs this what I have to look fwd to? Yeaaay! Luckily I only have 1 girl and 1 boy! I'd have to agree with grrrrl, stay consistent. It's great that they are comfortable talking to you. I would think that keeping an open line of communication is critiacl now. That "no matter what, I can tell my dad". Keep doing what you're doing and don't falter. I know me and my sister were a handful for a single mom. I can only imagine being a single dad!
Anonjust be consistent...(lol) teenagers and hormones (especially girls) don't mix well.. hold on to your ass ;-)
Im trying, but wow somedays its just absolutely mind blowing. I am really greatfull to the fact they are very open to talking with me and they really are my best buds. We camp fly fish backpack and such. But my god they never stop talking and fhe f-ing drama on my god! I tbink there used to me yelling at them and it doesnt get anywhere, i have had so many one on ones with them i swear i spend more time consulting them then i spend at work. Which work is heaven compared to home. I cant ever stay upset at them for long IDK. I just wish there was a lady that could chime in every now and then when i am in one of these situations and help figure this out. Fod god sakes my sweetest daughter had a little first hicky i seen yesterday and i about lost it.
Anonoh REALLY... you might wanna bust her behind for that.. the fact is that if you give them an ultimatum punishment directive or what ever you HAVE to stick to your guns and follow through if not..... you might as well tattoo "door mat" on your face.. also, one of the highest indicators of delinquency is parents not "knowing" where their kids are or who they are with. so if you don't know or have lapses, it is more likely they will find troubles.
Im on them like flys on shit. But it is more work dealing with all their issues whining arguing and just that whole "whatever" attitude. When i found out about the hicky omg i about went through the roof. She's a brilliant kid 4.0 grades Tudors, teacher's helper helps more at home. But then there is this side of them that is trying to rebel a little. I swear im just going to go nuts. From a womans stand point what is it when you were a teenage girl with all these new hormones flowing through your body? Did you honestly do stupid or say stupid things that you dont know why you did them? Or is this just an excuse to keep from getting in trouble. I can be a little to easy at times with them, but honestly i can be very strict as well. Just the other day i wanted to backhand my oldest for swearing and being utterly disrespectful right in front of me and continued to do so after i asked her to stop. She wound up getting her ass wooped for it.
Anonwe are just trying out how to be independent.. ;-)
I understand that, so I give them a little room and then wham! They are out of school for summer break finally. We plan to be camping and backpacking this summer through the Sierras. We always seem to connect alot better, when were all out on a trip together. Maybe its just there so much going on this last couple of weeks. Ending the school year friends and such. We were just on a 1 week trip in death valley and everything was good. Back at home they just drive me bananas. I think its just time to get them out more often. I dont venture to far from home so i am constantly around them. I need to get out more often!