I Hope Everyone is keeping well at the moment and keeping themselves busy with things, as I sit here writing this the Autumn is setting in and nights getting darker sooner - before we will know it Christmas will be upon us again and the tree will be erected again (Lol dirty tree)

I wanted to write this as a reminder of how shocking things once were for us in addiction, that seemed totally normal at the time but on looking back now seem like pure insanity.

I was in the supermarket a few days ago stocking up on juice (not gear lmao) things like cordials and luco etc and in this particular store on the other side of the aisle sits all the alcohol and spirits in there. Sometimes I have a glance to see how much certain things are now that I once drank with the shocking surge in inflation, to my surprise they aren't that much different to how they were over 10 years ago now. So I guess that just shows you how much the government want us to keep drinking ourselves to death to get their taxes!

All down this aisle you have the Bourbons, Scotches, Vodkas, Tequilas, Pre mixer cans - everything you could want. Probably about 7 shelves high on each unit and there were about 8 units in total so A LOT of different drinks. I kid you not as I looked down each unit on every SINGLE shelf there was a brand of spirits or cans that I spent a massive amount of time on binge drinking at one time or another - It was just shocking!!! With each brand I could remember what I was doing in life at the time, on holiday or not, what job I was doing etc. All I was thinking was yep remember that one, there's another, another one and so on. When I was totalling up how much I drank of each brand, then the total time spent drinking it over etc it truly made me realise how immersed and dependant I was in all this crap at the time - over soooo many years. I was stood there thinking how could I have done this to myself - all for what? what gain? what happiness? Nothing - it was all for nothing but escapism living in a false sense of reality which ultimately became this non existent hole of depression, hopelessness and despair. Feeling constantly ill, too ill to ever eat. Drink first thing in the morning, through the day, before bed, through the night to quench thirst - it never ended.

All I can say is Thank God I saw the light in the end and pulled myself out of that shit hole mess that we were all in - I often question why I found it so hard and frightening to do at the time, just taking that first step and saying no, but its easy to forget how mentally and physically dependent we were too in those days

I Thank you all for listening to my boring story and hope that if there is any one out there suffering at the moment to please get in contact with myself or Brozowski in PM and ask us to add you to this group if you are not yet a member.