vascular's picture
vascular
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Libido in women

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Sup ladies,
I'm no husband of the year that's for sure - but I do try ;)
I think my wife and I have a great relationship - she is my best friend, we are expecting our second child and currently the way we work as parents makes me grin like an idiot when I think about it - we're an awesome tandem and happily married.

One thing though, that plagues our relationship, is her libido. I know I have a lot to do with it, but honestly I do all the little things I can: I stay in shape, be considerate, freq attempts at romance, constant overtures and constantly reminding her she is gorgeous.

My wife is pretty hot actually HAHAAH way better looking than me (which isn't hard) buty that just makes a low libido even harder to deal with. But since we started being serious say 9 years ago, her libido has just hit rock bottom. She never instigates and I think she only gets in the mood whenver I initiate and never in the last 3-4 years has she really instigated. Trust me - instigation means a lot to a man after several years.

Also - she can't climax - she has never organsimed with me - she enjoys it and has never complained that I s#ck - despite some real nagging on my end. I have managed to make previous gfs climax so I at least have SOME clue HAHAHA. She says she never really has with anyone... which I hear is possible [insert jokes here]

OK - so my question: is there anything you have personally tried that has increased your libido? Whether it be a scientific discovery, a compund or some sort of medical therapy? I really think its hormonal - not psychological cos my wife swears she is still attracted to me.

Would I die unhappy from this? No way. My life is great. But could my marriage be even better with mutual physical desire? HELL YEH.

Appreciate any input.

zeusmarada's picture

This thread is now over four years old as I comment. I'm simply curious now if others have had this same problem, and what solutions, whether it was with AAS, over the counter supplements, or just lifestyle, diet & exercise related that have helped?

UgtaBkdNme's picture

Well, she's pregnant that's the best answer for the next year, sorry.

Once she's had the baby, you have to wait until her hormones level out. Sadly for most women that takes a year. Until then don't do anything chemically. Good luck

As for the orgasms, does she get off alone? If yes, have her show you if not see a doctor.

Silencewaits's picture

It's called female orgasm disorder. It's actually quite common for a women not to cum. It dosnt mean she isn't getting satisfied. If she has a problem with it then get it checked. She said she hasn't had a orgasm like that with anyone therefore I wouldn't stress about it. Her libido might be low because you might be to hard on her without knowing you are. If she started a cycle of anavar her libido will increase, but she still won't be able to to come to climax like you expect her to. If she isn't complaining about her orgasms then it's fine. If she is then it's not fine and I would suggest seeing a specialist.

Inked.wifey's picture

Has she already had labs done? If not, have her do a female hormone panel. It'll show estrogen and test levels. Also, birthcontrol? Has she been on any recently? Birthcontrol is known to lower estrogen & test levels which are both huge factors in a womans libido. I know you said she's pregnant currently which hormone wise can kill her libido. You also have 2 kids which can cause stress I'm sure. Does she work full time as well? I've been with my husband for 9 years and married for 1. Recently we got into it about me not initiating. I did a hormone panel and found my levels were all out of whack from the birthcontrol pills I e been on since I've been 18. I've been off the birthcontrol for a few months now and my libido is through the roof! Has she seen a doctor also? I would highly recommend it if she hasn't and none of the above are a factor. As far as orgasms go, have you allowed her to pleasure herself? Women know what they like and what works for them. Or have her show you what she likes and how to do it.
Good luck!

FullBlownMachine's picture

get her on testosterone lols jk..

vascular's picture

Thanks GRRRL... just read it thanks for the FWD.

Injecting prop sounds scary... and drastic given that I'm the MAIN beneficiary of benefits and she is the main receiver of unwanted sides in my situation lol cos to be honest - she isn't that worried about her lack of libido. She just gives a sh#t that I give a sh#t know what I mean?

But this thread has convinced me to get her hormones checked... see if Test levels are normal or not. We have plans to do that end of the month. I think general health plays into this in the end...

AZDMD's picture

There are certain herbal supplements that can help some but certainly not to the extent of giving her a shot of prop. Damiana is a pretty good one for women's libido.

steveless's picture

Get her hormone level's checked out first she probably has a low Testosterone level.. And minus any past psychological trauma that could be putting a mental block up I bet small level's of hormone change will make a Gigantic difference.

vascular's picture

Thanks bro - I suggested this a couple weeks ago - she is open to it 100%. Will post back on this thread when bloods come in - scheduled for end of this month.

vascular's picture

LOL That's freakin awesome man - thank you! What was her cycle like? Weeks/dosages? Any sides?

vascular's picture

bro u seriously crack me up - you're an animal. Nah appreciate you sharing man. I was really curious about TRT for my Mrs.

Now she obviously can't stay on cycle too long, how is she without it? Goes back to the same ol same ol?

cj0cj0's picture

Go read fifty shades of gray you adorable couple lmao hahahhahah

Owes a Review × 1
vascular's picture

lol fark off I'm not that desperate HAHA

Odin's Son's picture

I am not positive, but the use of good caber might help with this.

vascular's picture

Sup! Why do you think caber would help my man?

Odin's Son's picture

Due to it being a dopamine antagonist

P's picture

Take a look at a women's menstrual cycle, you notice that its over a 28 day period, whereby women's oestrogen and other hormone levels are constantly fluctuating.

Day 1 to 7 Is when her period starts and is possibly the period where you will receive the least amount of sex. During this period oestrogen levels are low as her period approaches. Meaning that you will have less natural lubrication in the run up to the start of your period and it might take a little bit more effort to get her in the mood. Hence why I believe she can't last as long as you. (Might be worth keeping a bottle of lubricant close by for weeks like this.)

Day 8 to 14 Is usually when she is feeling horny as hell! This is when your body will get ready to release another egg so it is also your most fertile- so be careful! Those peaking oestrogen levels are starting to rise at this point as her body gets ready foetal production. This is not only when she will experience the best orgasms and the highest sex drive, but she will also attract the attention of more men. (So keep her locked in during this period - Research has proven that men are drawn to ovulating women - which is strange considering the thought of actually producing a baby makes most men sprint for the border.)

Day 15 to 21 Will see oestrogen levels start to drop. Ovulation usually occurs at around Day 14 meaning high sex drive will only continue for a few days after this so make the most of it.

Day 21 to 28 Progesterone levels will have taken over by this week. You might not notice but this can make her voices become deeper (Like Barry White).However towards the end of this final week another period is on its way and most women will start to feel bloated, moody and far from sexy. But don't worry- the whole cycle starts again in a few days.

vascular's picture

To be honest we have 2 children and had a really hard time getting pregnant. I know quite a bit about the cycles you just posted (great popst btw)- because our first preciuous little girl took us 1.5 years to conceive after 2 mis-carriages. No health issues reported, one month out of IVF and BOOM we struck the lottery. I think an ink test to her ovaries and uterous cleaned her out a week before she got pregnant which is what the IVF Dr predicted ;)

So... "Day 8 to 14 Is usually when she is feeling horny as hell!" --> you are going to laugh at this - I had this on my iPhone last year.. trying to pounce on it cyclically haha... I swear- the changes in her 'wanting to' did not change. She may be a little more recptive to my advances - but never 'horny as hell' and instigating :(

P's picture

Can i ask a few personal questions bro.

1) Has your wife ever cheated?
2) Has she ever been emotionally hurt/scarred either by another partner or yourself?
3) Can she emotionally connect with you?

vascular's picture

Sure! My post is pretty personal as it is hahaha [I'm copping so much sh#t already]

  1. Nope - we're very good with 'extra curricular' - no issues with cheating. I've been faithful too.
  2. Not that I know of. She had emotional issues with an ex - nothing related to sex or act of sex. Nothing traumatic that I know of (known her 10 years now).
  3. Yeh we get along fine - pretty good mates. No issues there at all.

btw we've talked about this stuff - I've asked her directly what she thinks it is. And she says "I don't know, I just don't feel like it.". She doesn't in anyway feel negative towards it - just either can't be arsed or really not in the mood HAHAHA

This is turning into Dr Phil. Ragers are gonna have a field day LOL

P's picture

Hey man, all you're doing is caring for your woman and making sure that she is as happy as possible!

The reason why I asked the previous questions is to create some sort of mental image of the issue. Many women who 'open up' (referring to one-night stands, losing a loved one, or anything which evokes some sort of emotional scarring) too soon find that they similarly 'close-up' emotionally too soon. The evidence for this is through the simple cause and effect theory (The Causality Phenomenon), substantiated by the fight or fly response paradigm (W. B., Cannon), whereby once an individual opens up (in this context, i am referring to sexually opening up) and find that they have been hurt or rejected as a result of their ability to embrace sexual contact will result in an primordial instinctive nurture, whereby her innate ability to 'open-up' (referring to instigating in sexual intercourse) will be scarred - this is a possible reason why she is not able to orgasm.

I must also urge to critically analyse yourself prior to aiding your wife. Since your knowledge towards the subject may be limited, and unclear in origin - thus resulting in an unclear knowledge and understanding, which will translate into some sort of clouded reasoning to your wife.

vascular's picture

LOL seriously bro don't laugh at my mis-fortune HAHAHAHA