Who doesn't like to train while juicing? We all do. But, at the end of the day most people have family and kids. They need me as much as I need them. So, respectively I'm going to be honest and tell u. I actually like coming off cycle and getting my blood work done and taking care of myself. It clears my thoughts and well being is good and I have my health. Which is huge.

Off cycle I train just as hard and eat the same, as if I were on. I might not b setting no new pr or whatever. But, I'm still doing what I love and that's lifting. It's my way out, of this hate filled world. For that short time everything goes away. No matter what problems I'm dealing with, it's gone. Headphones in world off. It gets me through life. And at the end of the day I know I'm b n responsible w the choices I make. Not only for me. But, people that depend on me and need me. If u don't have your health, u have nothing! Being on trt is different. I'm assuming you r talking about b n on a lot. That's not good at all.

It's brilliant to see all the comments on here. Little light hearted read for you mate.

https://juicedmuscle.com/jmblog/content/story-ended-steve-michalik

First off my name is matt and im addicted to big girls with big boobs, if the belly is out further than the boobs then shes fat, however if the boobs stick out further then fellas its game onnn big boobie big booty timmeee

Now thats out the way lol i wanted to say i am the same, i dont like coming to the end of a cycle and im guilty of coasting , ive always had a good diet but just like them big boobs im drawn back into just staying on it , its all in my head and i know i dont lose the gains ive worked hard to get but i train harder, eat even better when im on something

I'm addicted to big booty girls!

if you have an addictive personality (you said you used to "love" Rx pills), then that is why you feel like you are "missing" something. You proly have a propensity to get addicted to lots of things, whether it be chemical or external. It's something you'll just have to work through, control, and make the decision as to whether or not you should continue doing gear (other than TRT)

About time you could vote. +2

Ultimately/naturally we are(suppose to be) free beings. What a person puts in their body is their choice. Damn near everything aside from water, meat, fruits and vegetables isn't really meant to be ingested/administered imo. And thats exactly it...opinions have put a label on every single facet of our lives. We hear our conscience telling us when we are fking up...if you are of sound mind and not batshit crazy...I think thats the "opinion" that we are meant to abide by. Alot of times people can place guilt onto us...if you feel the same way than by all means, take heed. If you are content with your choice, own it.

All that shit being said. The other side of the coin is loved ones. What we do to ourselves, good or bad...effects them. In the end, loved ones are the only ones who have any say or play any part in the things I do and decisions I make. My loved ones are not perfect either, and they have and will make decisions that effect me good or bad. So as long as each and every one of them feel loved...not just told...but FEEL it and know it...Im going to put whatever the fk I want in my own body. I will again, always listen to my conscience.

Now...to lighten this topic up a bit...read this shit hahaha this man is brilliant!

https://www.eroids.com/forum/general/off-topic/how-to-tell-if-youre-addi...

I always tell myself if I want to have kids I need to cycle responsibly, that seems to be enough motivation for me.
Maybe try writing out a list of pro's and con's of being permanently on cycle and be honest. I can bet the cons side of the list is a lot longer. Maybe seeing it all wrote down will help you process it an make the right choices.
It would be awesome to always feel on top of the world but I think the novelty would wear off pretty quickly once you realise it's forever.

I think it is difficult to majority of us. You are feeling like a teenage god for few months and then you have to quit and be like everybody else. Who doesn't want to feel like a king? Not easy buddy. Good post+1

I expect to get ripped apart by all the old school/walking encyclopedia/PHD/mentor/MOD/guru/Karma Kongs
whenever I open up about how this shit really makes me feel, or how I ran it, or how some diet plan or dosage plan is this or that. I'm a 40 something NOOB who's been juicing on and off for 20 something, I've got a 6 for karma and don't know anything and I don't post much.
I find this post insightful and we share many of the same feelings when on and off. You are not the only one in this position. You are not the only one in this position, but not a lot of folks post about it. Somedays I wanna eat 20 dbol tabs, and wash em down with a shake that has 10 abombs smashed up in it, and follow it up with 200mg of tren, then remember its a rest day and go back to bed. Unhealthy, stupid, and wreckless, but sometimes thats how the day gos. The stuff makes me feel good and more in control too. I dont enjoy it when OGs chop me up for doing it wrong, but at least on a forum we can log off. My karma is yours for the taking

Brother, if you've read my comments on eroids before, then you'll know I sound like a broken record, so forgive me for being redundant. I simply share this cuz it keeps me focused, and it's pertinent to your situation.

"REMEMBER WHY YOU LIFT."

I've got a good woman, two healthy children, and I live in a community that I love.

But I also lift for vanity, to be physically stronger, for mental escape, and because when everything in life feels like it's spiraling out of control, the dumbbells are the one thing that I can focus on that doesn't seem to be falling apart.

AAS gives the feeling that you're in "control." I assure you, it's not the drugs that are in control. YOU ARE.

I'm obsessive, and I have addictive blood in my veins, so I have to be diligent to avoid self destruction. I work too hard, I lift too hard, and although I don't "party," I know that when I actually have beers with my crazy fucking family, I have to tell myself to quit after a few, cuz I'll drink too hard.

@robxl12321, you'll wake up one day and say to yourself, "I'm in control. I'm the man. If something breaks, I fix it, or I figure out how to proceed forward. No one is coming to rescue me. No one will hold my hand. I'm in charge, and I call the shots." (I'm not advocating being a stubborn asshole to your wife/gf, or coworkers, etc, I'm simply saying that YOU ARE STRONG. USE THAT STRENGTH.)

Feel free to pm me anytime if you wanna chat.

I know I write long responses and I always sound like a motivational cat poster, so again, my apologies. I just HATE IT when men don't realize how fucking powerful they really are, and how to use that power to make the world (and THEIR world) better.

Steroid junkies

I enjoy my time off and not having to stick myself with a pin nearly every day for months on end. I do have to stick my self with a pin every 10 days now just to feel somewhat normal because I am on TRT. But let me tell you, my levels are right around 600-650 on TRT which is right in the middle but even though my T levels are "normal" the feeling is not the same as normal natural levels. There is just something different and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is but TRT in no way compares to being able to function on your natural testosterone.

I actually enjoy training on my offtime and seeing how I can push my body with diet and training alone to make gains. Those are the gains I am most proud and are the most rewarding. Too many people using steroids as a crutch....everyone is becoming steroid junkies.

Pretty sure most people here know exactly what you mean. I have an addictive personality as well but I've taken that out in the form of just being addicted to exercise. Figure if I need an addiction that's not a bad one to have since most of my family are alcoholics. Obviously get off the juice but overall its entirely understandable. That feeling of power and superiority on a good cycle can make anyone reluctant to come off. So I suppose you have to choose whether or not to stick yourself on trt since none of us can actually stop you. Just think on that for a while before you make a permanent decision and decide what's really important to you in life

I have an addictive personality and had a run with steroid abuse. I'm on TRT as a result. Every month, at least once, I get really frustrated with myself for those poor decisions.

Run your blood work and run it often. Be honest with yourself about the blood work results. You invest time in the gym and diet. Don't forget about your overall health. Take pride in yourself and doing it right.

First off, you should not be negged for being honest about what you are doing and posting it here to get advice or critique. Secondly, anything can be addictive, some folks have very addictive personalities and some do not its just genetics, self control and willpower are another thing.

I will admit after my cycle I kept on using proviron just for the feeling and the hardness I would get, I felt good so I used it like 2 months after my cycle was over, I knew I shouldn't be but I did anyways. This is your life and your choices now will directly affect your future.

Should you continue to use test and not come off? Absolutely not.
Should you cycle safely and follow a strong pct protocol? Of course.
Do you want to stay on test and feel amazing all the time? Hell yeah.
Are you headed into a life where you are a slave to the pin? Yes.

Weigh out the pro's and cons, it is great to have good test levels all the time, testosterone is very important to us. But if you are at the stage where you are using it to feel normal well you are 26 and unfortunately you will have to pin every week for the rest of your life. If I were you I would read a good TRT forum and see what I mean, I found out TRT sucks and I was once in your shoes and I wanted to accept TRT etc but after I read what some of these guys had to say I decided otherwise. I am 27 now and I want to maintain my natural levels for as long as I can, just for the fact of having to pin every week sucks!! I would hate it! And if oyu are shooting above a TRT level which it sounds like you might be then you have to realize you are going to burn out really hard and end up screwing yourself over very badly. Good luck to your brother and just think about your future, and if you ever want to have kids too!

I see no reason for people to have a pop at you, I'd imagine a lot can empathise.

I don't feel that way personally, but I'm sure a lot of people do if they are honest. Some people have more addictive type personalities than others. I can be quite obsessive in nature. What I mean is I give sonething 100% or I just don't do it at all. That's probably a similar trait to yourself and dare I say a lot of us thst inflict pain on ourselves daily in this thing we call "lifting".

You need your time off though mate. Lecture over ;)