+ 3 PLEASE I Need Advice!!!!
Hello Everyone.
So here goes. I came home from the gym this morning and my wife (who I am fighting with) told me I need to leave and move out. About a month ago, I received a Customs letter in my PO box and threw it out.
This morning she brought up how she knew about my mailboxes and how Customs is after me for importing from an international country. I asked her if anyone came to the house or a letter came to our mailbox, she would not say or respond. She said that she will not get involved and that her whole family is now apart of this. Would someone reach out to her family? I have no contact or ties with them. We don't even speak to them.
We don't use the mailbox at our house and she checked yesterday to see if a check was mailed.
So it's either
1. She saw initial customs letter before I threw out.
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my boxes I rent out forwarded mail to our house with a letter and she is obviously pissed, called her family and is using this to force me out of the house.
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Someone came to the house while I was gone (on Easter). Which is funny because she didn't bring it up until 2 hours after I came home and finished dishes and had a small arument.
If they do indeed have my name and info, it's very easy to find me at home or at my employment.
Should I freak out? Or is she just using this to get me to leave?
I hope this all makes sense. I am typing a mile a minute in panic!
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Its called blackmail bro.
I don't think it would of mattered if it was aas, weed or even unpaid tax, they use any kind of dirt on us to feel like they have the upper hand.
It happened to me, she even hijacked and took over my eroids account.
Fact is- if she was for real about getting you fucked over and she had dirt on you, you would have already been arrested, its blackmail/ stand over tactics and if she starts demanding things in return to " stay quiet" its in fact extorsion.
My personal opinions from experience- you have children together and obviously love and care about her so if I were you I would do everything within my capabilities to sort it all out with her, if that means backing down, apologising etc so be it, as Greg stated there is counselors who are trained for this kind of stuff, I like that idea because if you put that idea at her she will think deeper and realise if he's willing to go through counselling with me I am important etc, I say this for the sake of your family, it sux when kids involved and although what she's doing is bull shit you both chose and decided to bring kids into this world together and they are the priority.
If kids weren't involved unless you were truly madly deeply in love and couldn't bare to be without her due to true love I would say just pack up and leave her with out anyway of her being able to contact you, that means by any means of communication, pH, social media, etc etc.
Good luck but stay cool, don't contact the family, there would be a reason they've had nothing to do with you, I have a hunch she may have recently been in contact with them behind your back, she's probably been emotional with them and blamed the no contact on you- therefore you don't want to rattle the cage further and have not only your woman against you but her family also, these scenarios will end up with you in court/ jail and restraining orders play it cool, don't harass.
Good luck
That's it couldn't of put it better myself
Obviously way more issues at play here than one seizure notice that she may or may not have seen.
Time comes sometimes in a mans life where either you draw the line or the line is drawn for you. In this case is this move out ultimatum solely about AAS or perhaps a multitude of unhappiness with this being the icing on the cake.
You state "How does my wifes family know?" That statement alone shares that you have serious communication problems with your wife. Why not ask her? Why not ask for clarification about what exactly she is saying, why , and how? Again obviously way more issues at work here.
Bottom line, it appears to be AS or your wife. Or is it? If you stopped everything today forever, would all your relationship problems disappear? Probably not.
That being said, if AS are required for TRT and she does not understand or respect that , you appear to be in a pickle. If you are not a pro bodybuilding, not requiring TRT, nor making money or a sizeable income off of your enhanced physique than you are literally choosing AS over your wife. Its time to seriously look in the mirror and as a man decided what is most important in life.
You are correct.. we have had issues way before AAS were even an issue. They are just a tool in her toolbox to use against me. Whether I'm on cycle or not, I'm always very calm and non confrontational..she hates that I don't engage in arguments. I just give my 2 cents and walk away. I guess some people need constant drama/ confrontation..
As grown men we have all been through this, maybe not exactly your circumstances but yea. If your ordering a few bottles here and there I would doubt you should worry. If your ordering enough to resell then maybe you could be investigated, still idk your situation. I don't give advice when it comes to matters of the heart, but if it takes your freedom away then run. Keep us posted man.
Im sorry to hear this man
This is not the right time for this stuff
It’s just Easier day
I wish you had better Easter Day than this drama
Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything works out for you.
Thx to everyone who responded. I packed my shit(stash too) and left. I'm just gonna stay with a friend till this blows over. All this over a Promo pack that got seized:/ smh
Happy Easter !
Will keep you posted
You said that she had previously thrown out 2K worth of gear - so to me, it's not about a promo pack. It may well be about the whole steroid-use thing. Maybe she doesn't like you when you are on cycle or doesn't agree with steroid use in general - I don't know - she's your wife, you should know. There are deeper relationship issues here that you need to address if you want it to work. You have broken up and divorced and then remarried her. If you have gone through the whole divorce thing and then remarried the same woman, regardless of the good intentions - you are re-marrying the same issues. Men are creatures of habit. We like routine and generally feel comfortable in them. Relationships can become routine - and no matter how bad they degenerate, men will just hang in there because of the familiarity of routine. Take a break for a couple of months - not days. Critically look at the relationship and write a list of pros and cons about it. If the cons outnumber the pros, walk away because going back will be going back to a routine that produces no positive changes in your life. There are good women out there, there is a million possible positive relationship opportunities. Maybe it time to explore them. Just my 2c worth.
Good advice my man thx!
You may have gotten a post office notice saying to pay the mailbox rent which she intercepted.
She intercepted the Customs letter to you (odd as it should have been sent to the PO box)
She saw the letter in the trash and is reacting to it like any noob who gets the letter for the first time.
She is afraid you have jeopardize your family home. Thinking it will be seized under federal drug dealing laws.
Get out of the house take your stash
Apologize for your stupidity.
Close all PO boxes (verifiable by her simply going to the PO and asking what boxes are attached to your home address).
Ask her if she'll talk to a lawyer with you to make sure you're home is safe (it is, you are)
Let her know she is more important to you than AAS and work it out. offer to go to counseling.
Post plan if you're able to fix things
Tell her you feel sluggish like you did before you started AAS and that you're going to see a doctor.
Go to a men's clinic and get diagnosed but do not start a regimen with them without first talking to your wife.
Sit down with her at the men's clinic to discuss a script for testosterone.
Good advice. Thx!
It was just ODD how she said her whole family is involved etc. And they contacted her dad? We haven't spoken to her father in years. Why wouldn't they contact my family or just get me at work. She has done drastic things in the past like this as well( threw away 2k worth of gear,etc) Was like she was saving this one.
The letter freaked her out. perhaps she called her family because she's afraid there's going to be a raid on her home. So, now her family is involved.
If she was angry and you before she's angry and scared now. You need her to realize she's safe, and to see that you realize how irresponsible you've been putting the family at risk.
Nobody contacted her dad. She sounds a little nutty, sorry bro. You’ll be better off without stress like that in your life.
Oh she is definitely nutty!! No offense taken.. I've married her twice, keep going back cuz my kids:/ And sex is AMAZING........But this shits getting old. I'm getting to old for this shit.
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Go get a hooker, the sex will be amazing and you are paying her to leave not have sex. She sounds like an absolute nutcase, I had one just like and after the second breakup I was done and never looked back.
You can choose to stay and give up your lifestyle and aas, you can stay away and get your priorities straight as well as your life, or you can take this as a learning experience and move the fuck on. Remember, your kids will see you fighting, bitching, at each other's throat, and think that shit is normal. Think of the kids first. Will they have a good life when their wackadoo mom calls the cops on their dad the first time you get smart with her? Will they have a better life?
Well said...minus the hooker;).. lol..thank you
Stuff packed and left! Driving..will update in a couple
Pack your stuff and get out. Once they involve there family means they have been thinking about this alot longer than just today. She wants you out. Time to go. Nothing good will come of fighting, fighting will only make it worse
Friend request sent.
Accepted
Don't freak out. Been through this shit before. The only person after you is the woman. Deal with that only. Nobody else is looking for you. Typical pissed off woman lol. Welcome to the club
There's no reason to panic bro. Calm down take deep breaths relax I've had a friend in similar situations and my advice is talk to your wife take her some flowers and a box of chocolates and apologize. If that don't work than it's best you move on!! Good luck bro
Do not worry man, it looks like your girlfriend took advantage of the situation to make fun of you. Show her that you do not care and she will stop using this technique. Yes, and think you yourself should be worth it to leave.
Warrior my friend stop and catch your breath for a second. Try and sit down and talk with her. I don't know your history with your wife nor anything about your family but I've kinda been through something like this before. Look back at your relationship with your wife for the past few months how have things been between the 2 of you, have they been good or has their been tension between y'all. Let me ask you this does she know you use AAS'S. If she does then she knew the potential of the game. If there has been a lot of tension between y'all then this me be her way to get out of the relationship. People don't like to be the bad guy. 9x out of 10 neither the guy or the girl wants to call it off so they try and sabotage things. Only you knows your wife and what can be going on between yall. Unless your moving weight I don't see anyone coming after you for a few vials of oil. She may have very well seen the letter and held off saying anything to you unroll she got her ducks in a row. If she reached out to her family then they may have helped her make her choice and backed her up. You really just need to sit down with her and the 2 of you talk things out like adults no fighting no voices raised just cool calm and collect. That's the best advice I can give you. But I really thing she's using this for her way out without having to be the bad guy. I wish you all the luck brother and ill be praying for you. Keeps us informed ok. Hit me up DM if you need anyone to talk to ok were here for you bro.
Thx. Yes she knows I use gear. We argue about it often.
This relationship has been toxic over the years. Just hard to bail as kids are involved.. but she took it to a whole other level today. I calmly asked to just sit and talk to understand what was going on ( did someone come to house? A letter?) She wouldn't say. But was aware of my boxes I have and said her dad knew. She said to leave, so I packed and left.
I know how it is with the kids and family bro I do. My sons mother my first wife it was toxic as well. We dated off and on since high school and then ended up together before we Finialy got married. We would fight she would kick me out and a week later I was back at home. She had a thing for younger guys who flirted and got her panties wet so shed pick a fight to kick me out so she could screw them and once they got their milf they were gone so guess what shed call and I'm come running back home this shit went on for years until the last episode. I came home one evening and she had that look on her face I could tell what was coming next, she said she met a guy and wanted to start a relationship with him and guess what she kicked me out. Well her and that dude screwed around for about a month until some younger hotter chick came around and he dropped my ex like a bad habbit a few days later she's calling me up crying talking about how she made a mistake and that she was sorry I told her I was sorry to but this time I wasn't coming back home. The shit got old man you know what I mean but I put up with it for12+ years all for my boys I couldn't bare the thought of being an every other weekend dad. And 6months after I had separation papers drawn up I took her to court and judge gave me sole custody. Point is brother yes you want to be there for your kids but if your fighting all the time then you can't be there for them. Walk away man start you a new life one the you deserve and one that will make you and your kids happy. You will get through this bro you will just stay strong and focus on your kids.
Damn my man sorry:/ yah mine has been 10 years on/off.. I keep sticking it out for my kids. My father was never there and I promised I'd be a better man than he was no matter what for my children ..East Coast mentality/ family ALWAYS. But it's been tough. I guess it's better to be a single parent who is happy and can give my kids the best of me than a miserable couple that argues constantly and stays together.
Gotta say I really appreciate this board. Never opened up about personal life. You guys are awesome. Makes me feel I'm NOT alone:)
Your not alone bro, you have friends here and were all here for you. Your a good man and a great father and you can't give 100% of yourself to your kids if your in a toxic environment. Kids pick up on mommy and daddy fights their smart they may not act like they know or that it bothers them but it does its not good for kids to be in that I grew up in it and it sucked it really sucked. Take time for you to build yourself back up. It might be tough for a little bit but it will get better my friend it will I promise you that. Be there for your kids as much as you can. Hold your head up bro and be strong. Hit me up if you need me.
RustyhookerKids involved is extra reason to be solo. Meaning, they're smart and can see more than you think. It probably effects them as well seeing bs.
Get things straight. Be the best single dad you can be.
Yah.. really starting to think that way..when we separated, I was happy, kids can FEEL that and all was good..
For me I just struggle with not being there 24/7 and missing a moment of my child's life:/ sacrifices:/
If that was true she wouldn't have waited 2 hours to bring it up , she would have attacked you the minute you got home . I'd say its just an excuse to get you to leave , sorry bro .
Hide your stash bro!!
STOP! Relax a minute.
Your Mrs. is throwing you out.... everything else is fluff.
Deal with your relationship issues. Focus on that entirely. The other stuff will come up in time.
Bon chance
Thx!