posted Tue, 06/18/2013 - 02:45
5418
+ 2 Closet AAS user. Do I tell my wife?
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I'm about half way through my first cycle and I have gained about 15lbs (165 to 180) and have been eating everything I can get my hands on. My wife and daughter keep asking "What's wrong with you?" Neither of them know I'm running a cycle and at some point I think my wife will find out. Do I take the proactive approach and tell her before she finds out on her own or do I just not worry about it? She's pretty conservative and I'm not sure how she will react.
What's been your experiences in telling your other half or them finding out?
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My wife’s biggest issue is the legal side of it. She is terrified of me being busted I haven’t been able to find a way to ease that concern.
My wife and I reviewed a little last night and another concern she had was getting busted as well. From what I've heard is that since I have a dr's script for Test C I should be ok legally. I don't have any facts to back that up and again it's just what I've heard.
She said that I'm using my Low T symptoms and script to get around the legal aspects and that I had planned going on AAS even before I went on TRT 6 mos ago. I guess in a way she's kinda right. She's one smart cookie!
Hate to break it to you brother but buying from an under ground non registered pharmacy makes you as uncovered as the guy without a prescription. I have scripts for HGH, test, and deca.
Well crap, that sucks.
The legal side is certainly not insignificant. When IPfreely posed the initial question, I suggested that his wife be told, but not his daughter; and for a couple reasons. A legal spouse cannot be forced to testify against another in a criminal trial. Your wife or husband in legally recognized marriages is the only person who has this immunity. And second, the best protection you have is in keeping it as quiet and private as you can. Kids talk. Co-workers talk. Gym buddies talk. Why open that door?
It's funny I just came across this thread cause I literally just posted on a source thread about my girl finally giving me the go ahead on running my cycle. Little did she know I have been running it behind her back :/
but my situation is a little different, she is my god not wife and we've only been together a year. And I was cycling when I met her, but she didn't know it until my next cye then, when I did it openly in front of her. Somewhere between that cycle And this one she completely chnged her mind tho. Started quoting all the ignorant conceptions and myths that the masses have about steroids...
Anyway, I showed her legitimate studies on aaas use and hrt and educated her on it. It still took a lot of time and arguing to get to this point tho.
Whatever way you choose to do it I wish you the best my man! Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn!
One last comment on this that maybe could be on another thread is that she asked me what my goal was, how big do you want to get? I thought that was a great question and I didn't know how to answer. Will I be satisfied at 185, 190 , 200...? What do you guys think, when is it enough?
Oh wait, so you already told her?? And you're alive to post about it? Must not have gone that bad then
She won't equate your weight to muscle.
My wife is turned off by "freaky big" So big enough for me (in her eyes) is about 18" arms and lean.
And that's my goal; to please my wife.
So my suggestion is to ask her what she thinks.
AnonI'm sure you will never want to stop or say enough. You can have a goal but once you reach it, you will want to maintain it.. or even come up with another goal. For me, I just started, but it will be never ending.
Hey buddy, people who body build will tell you there is no such thing as enough quality muscle. Since you are over 45 I would approach it from the health benefits such as muscle atrophy etc as you age. And you are not just doing this for size but to replace what your body no longer provides.
Totally agree with this! Look through the EBC pictures and look at the amazing transformations people have made in all categories. They look great but no one wants to quit. Success is addicting. However, there is a price so I would ask the question more from a quality of life approach and balance that with time in commitment t to body building/AAS and your family. You can have it all in moderate balance.
Enough is purely subjective. Enough is when you are content/happy about the way you appear. It's addictive though.....
That is so awesome.....almost makes me wanna go get a wife!!! Almost...
Lmao
Glad to hear it went well. You did the right thing. Everyone's situation is different and you know best what her expectations are and how you need to work with them. And you did; and by doing so you put her first.
In my case it was a little easier. We were on a cruise and stopped in Mexico on an overcast day, so we went to the Pharmacia. I asked the pharmacist for 4 x 50 Anavar and while he was going to get it, my husband (um...yeah, do the math) said to me "What's Anavar?" I said, oh, it's a mild steroid. "Oh."
He later said he knew it was coming, as everytime he opened the iPad eroids.com popped up
Ok, here is the update on my situation I promised.
When I got home from work last night I asked my wife to go for a walk with me and talk about something that had been on my mind. I explained to her that that I have been taking more than my prescribed dose for TRT (test cyp 100mg/w) and that it was more of a bodybuilder (750mg /w) type of dose. Then she asked "why?". I said that I had been stuck on making gains for at least 8 years (165lbs) and that I have tried every routine and supplement known to mankind to get past my spot. She didn't said anything and let me continue. I said that i'm not looking for your support, or expect you to be happy about about this but I just want you to know my side of things and that I don't want to hide it from you.
She said but it's bad for you and unhealthy. So I asked what will happen to me? I asked this so I could get a better understanding of what her perception is of AAS. She didn't have an answer other than it's not natural and messing with hormones could be a bad thing.So explained to her the side effects that could happen (hair loss - yeah that left me 15 years ago, high BP - dr is monitoring, acne - doing Proactive , Gyno- doing AI) I did go over the positives (more energy, feeling better about myself, increased libido, shoulder and elbow pain are gone)
It was quite a bit for her to digest and became a little emotional, but I think she was somewhat relieved that I didn't say that I was having an affair or something because a woman friend had asked me to help her with her workout routine and my wife wasn't to comfortable with that.
I asked her to do some research on her own to get more information on it, but she declined. I think it was just too much for her at the moment. I'm going to circle back with her tonight and make sure she's gtg.
We did end up for a romp in the sack last night and I made it a point to make sure she got a lot extra attention. ;)
I feel better that I have told her but it wasn't easy and I feel it was the right thing to do. I also want to thank everyone for their support as I work though this with her. Everyone here has been GREAT even birmon for cracking me up.
Thanks again,
IPFreely
Sounds similar to when I told my wife before my cycle. She doesn't want me doing another but too bad. Lol. She knows I'm being smart about it so she supports me. Glad everything worked out. It's always best to be honest with your wife no matter what.
The best part about telling the truth is you don't have to remember your lie ;)
Great job buddy! +1
Good approach, I bet you feel like a load has been lifted off your shoulders, +1 .
Fucking right! Way to go Yellow Rivers! +1
bbondsMy wife and i are best friends so when i approached her about my gear use i explained that
Used the proper way it only benefits and improves the quality of life for me and she responed
with, i heard they are bad for you and will cause cancer and then i responded to her thats what the
media and uneducated people want you to beleive and asked her to do some research and watch
Some videos on the pro's and cons of aas use after she researched on her own and got info
From educated docs and watch some educational movies on aas she had a different perspective
on them and came to the conclusion that she had been mis informed, we then sat down and talked
and she said i support your use as long as you use them the proper way and now she even gives
me my weekly shot, its all on how you approach her and help her learn the truth if you keep it
A secret in my opinion she will find out sooner or later, i hope this helps and good luck to you brother.
There is a good chance she already has an idea anyway. Women are like private investigators.
BirmonDon't tell her. If she finds out say you're holding it for a friend. If that doesn't work, flip it on her and accuse her of using steroids. If that fails, tell her the only reason your using them is because you want her to be attracted to you, so basically she drove you to this. And start crying too if you go that way. You should have enough estrogen in your system to muster up a few tears.
Jk of course
Lmao! Holding for a friend !!! Good stuff
It's all on how you tell your wife. The way I approached my wife was simply sitting her down and telling her.
Hey I done my research this is something I'm going to do. How do you feel about it.
My wife never gave me sh*t about it. She accepted it and she learned how to give shots, Guess what she pins me every time.
Just make sure you know what your doing, your the man and if she feels you, your self has droughts you should not be doing juice
I hear this time and time again. Ill bet I've read this post at least 4 times over the last year. I even posted 1 myself. You always hear if you love your wife you will tell her. Grow a pair and tell her. Or if you can't tell her your problems are much deeper than AAS and so on. How about the other side of it like do not tell her it ruined my relationship. What they don't know won't hurt them because ignorance is bliss. My reply being better to ask for forgiveness then permission. All of these answers are right and wrong! It's all based on perspective. Take my wife for instance. She's your classic over reactor. She will straight flip out on me if I tell her I'm going to do something and haven't yet. She will fight me tooth and nail but if she finds out I've been doing it and I'm not any different even better in many ways she's col with it. Her fear is of the unknown. Well you might say sit her down and educate her on it..... It ain't happening. Lol I tell you I love this woman from the bottom of my heart but sometimes she's just crazy! We've been together for 25years and married for 23 of them. I k ow her I think better than I know myself. Love isn't just about honesty and trust though these are very important but it's also knowing this person right down to their soul. My wife well she knows I'm a little bit arnrey and a little unpredictable and she's willing to live with that. So in summation I would ask you how well do you really know your woman. What is her typical reaction to things such as adversity and the unknown. Only you can answer these questions so maybe a pros and cons list based on your previous knowledge of her reactions. Is she open minded. Does she trust your judgement. Is she an over reactor. Is she the type that will use it against you down the line. You know your wife better than any of us and I'm sure there could be hundreds of other questions you could ask yourself before you make a decision. There are infinite recipes to make a successful marriage and this is truly why nobody can answer this question better than you. All we can do for you is give you our opinions and share our experiences. The rest is up to you. Good luck my brotha and I wish you the best and hope you come back to share your experience. For I'm absolutely sure this will not be the last question like this posted...... : )
I know u older and wiser than myself. But, i hid it from my wife for 2yrs. We have been married for ten now. She always said if i started useing aas she would leave. One day i shot up and went to the gym. Then it dawned on me. I left the vial on top of the dresser. Before i got back she had already found it.Yeah, that's how she caught me. She didnt leave me. N fact she is a nurse and pins my quads for me. And i like the fact i dont have to hide and can b honest. But, sumtimes when we get n disagreements bout stuff. She will throw in n my face. Ur all jacked up and blah...blah...blah...even when im off cycle. That is the only thing i dont like and to consider.
P.s nice avi....i guess ill have to change mine thou....GOOD LUCK
Joosemanmy wife is more AAS educated than most of the people on this board.. makes for great dinner conversations
she pins me, knows my schedule, and even packs my orals according to half life with her little pill dispenser in her purse. she even preps my shots for me. makes for great dinner convo's and lets be honest, shes going to catch you one way or another, and ill be damned if ive ever found a women who LIKES to have shit kept from her.. tell her bro, if she loves you, she'll support you.
Either way, she will find out!! You can't keep something like this from your WIFE! Especially if you want your cycle to be flawless. You wouldn't want her keeping secrets from you, it ruins relationships. The trust factor in a marriage is the single most important aspect to a healthy marriage. Just take her out to a romantic dinner and explain to her what you are doing. Then let her know that if it bothers her in anyway, you will stop if she ask you to.
Just know this SHE Will Find Out or atleast become suspicious.
BirmonOne of the most important aspects of marriage is trust. Sometimes not telling someone something is the same as lying. Especially if you're doing it to protect yourself and not them.
You probably should have told her to begin with. I'd tell her now, if I were you. To us, yeah it's not a big deal. To some you might as well be shooting heroin. If she doesn't want you doing it, and it's going to cause problems, then is it really worth it? I love my wife. She doesn't really like me doing it, but she hasn't asked me to stop. My use doesn't affect our relationship. The main thing she doesn't like is the amount of money I spend on it. If she asked me to stop, I probably would. She's more important to me.
I would never ever ever let my kids find out I was doing it. There is too much stigma out their and you don't want your kids viewing you that way. Especially when they get older and are pressured to try something or whatever, it could lower their standards, if you know what I mean. A kid whose parents smoke is much more likely to try it.
Family comes first. I say out with it. Good luck my man
I took the approach that it was better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. I just wasn't ready for that look of disappointment I know so well. At the time the marriage was solid but I knew where she stood on steroids. I also knew she would eventually find out. This is not advice just my experience!!! I left a syringe in my pants pocket and she was so worried that I was shooting heroin or something that when I told her I was giving myself testosterone injections it was more relief than disappointment. This has been almost a year ago now and she doesn't seem to care. Is it better to be upfront and honest probably but it has worked out for me just fine. Good luck bro hope it works out for you however you choose to handle it!
I could never keep something like that from my wife, nor would I appreciate her keeping something from me. If you love your wife, and I mean REALLY, you have to be honest with her. Otherwise bro, your problems are far deeper than AAS...
Anon+1
x2
"Otherwise bro, your problems are far deeper than AAS..."
That is some righteous wisdom brother! +1
For the record I accidentally upvoted myself so the I down voted this to make it even lol.
Birmonx 3
X2
Look I know steroids shrink your balls but come on pull that sack up anyways and just say it! I am just kidding with you brother but I really do mean it at the same time. Do you provide for you family? are you faithful to your wife? Do you see that their needs are met before your own? If the answer to all of these is yes than you are free to do with your body as you see fit and not let somebody's fears govern you. Educate her be kind and not hat in hand ass kissing scared but confident and let her know you are telling her as a courtesy not looking for her approval. If need be remind her that you have provided in every way for your family therefore you are not going to justify yourself.
Now of course if you are using the excuse that steroids are making you act like and ass etc well that is a different story. But that does not seem to be the case. Good luck to you!
You always have to be honest to your wife
Over the course of a few weeks...
Talk about TRT. Educate her on AAS by dispelling the myths (point out TRT users are normal people).
Be well informed on the topic, ask her what she thinks, let her know you're interested and why.
Once she's informed she is more apt to listen to you without prejudice. You will also have demonstrated that you have given this a lot of thought.
You might also discover that if she feels using AAS might make you feel "whole" she would actually encourage you to try it.
Really will never understand these guys who do s**T in secret. Its your wife dude, the woman you swore an oath to always be honest with. At what point did you loose your balls to just sit her down and tell her your thinking about doing a cycle and walk her through it? If you can't get her on board to support you than your reasons for doing it are probably effed up to begin with. Just saying.....
I would not tell her. In fact, it ruined my relationship when I told my ex. Not a lot of women enjoy the idea that their boyfriends/husband/baby daddy is on steroids and injecting themselves for just.. muscle! They usually ask why do you need to look better and why spend so much money on it and that you're being selfish by just thinking about yourself...
I'd just stick myself at the gym, simple as that....
"Why do you need to look better"
my reply would be
"Because I'm a vain good looking god like man; ya remember when you cared bout how you looked!?"
Damn that kinda talk; my god the women I know love it; but I'm in my 20s SOOO maybe it's different!
I'm also not married an if I was my wifey would be the type to run Var along side me anyways
Gator
I'm 46 and on TRT so I might get some understanding from her on that. I'll post tomorrow how it went. If you don't hear from me chances are it went bad and I closed my eroids account and flush my Test C down the toilet.
Hope not brother in iron!
Wish you the best!
Gator
All you guys are great! Thanks for the advice and I'll tell her tonight.
Disregard my first post. Good call bro. Hold your ground too... You both will be happy you did..
When you do tell her, be prepared to tell her about all the benefits of test and how you have researched and are doing it safely. Soon as she hears you are injecting steroids, she may freak because the only thing that she may be familiar with about steroids is all the shit blown out of proportion by the media.