Well time to start over, Im a week out of surgery and feeling ok. I have already noticed improvement in my leg which has brought some relief to my mind. However If im to come back a better and stronger person Ive got more then just healing ahead of me. I havent been honest with eroids in fact that Im an alcoholic. Have been one since most likely my first swig of booze. I had gotten sober 5 years ago with the birth of my daughter and that is also when I got my butt back to the gym.
About a yr and a half ago I split with my daughters mother, which was def. best for our daughter, as I grew up in a house of violence. And although her and I were not physically abusive verbally we had gotten to be downright evil towards eachother. Not a good enviroment for my princess.
Anyways custody is 50/50 and on my off weeks I found myself back in the bars chasing women and getting drunk. Always been a functionimg alcoholic no job loss or money issues to my aquaintinces they would not assume I had a problem as in my small city if dyou dont drink is the problem.
Ok so before surgery the Dr. S had told me the injury was most lilely sports related from skiing, training or college football that just never healed and got worse over time, well ita orgin came to light after the operation. I havent told my family yet as I am embarresed to say the least. After surgery the dr. mentioned i had bone chip that had broken off my vertabrea and embedded itself in the nevre that runs down my leg. Well about 7 months ago when this problem began I was out day drinking with my buds and fell on a flight of stairs and landed directly on my spine. I suppose i knew all along the origin of the problem but everytime i was asked by docs. And nurses if i could recall an incident when this may have occurred i would say no. Denial at its finest. Denial will only hold me back and letting you guys know the truth is my start to getting back on track.
Other then personal benifit from finally being honest with my eroids family, I am writing this for my brother and sistera here that may struggle wirh addiction. It can get u at anytime. And im here to say that old AA slogan of you will end of either in the hospital, jail or dead is the truth and to take heed. Ive managed two of those places multiple times and the third one could be just a drink away. I have a lot of anger towards myself right now for allowing booze to once again in a way take away my freedom and my hardwork. Im not locked up but I wont be living life as I would like to for quite sometime. Ok thanks for listening and I apologize to the community for using your respect, the knowledge I have gotten from many of you and taking it all for granted once again. But I aint dead yet and I promise to myself and my friends here that I will come back even stronger.