So it was almost 4 years ago exactly that i put down the drugs, alcohol, junk food and unhealthy lifestyle i was living and started to live kinda normal life... About a year later I really started to work on my bodybuilding journey. I was around 79kg in those beginings. Looking like i was ready to die lol.But I was serious from the day I started lifting. I spend literally all my time reading about training and nutrition. I didnt want to waste any time making mistakes. And I was very lucky to have gym partner who was already experienced enough to show me the way. And best of all he never once said anything about how fucking small and weak I was. All he would do was encourage me. So i got lucky i never wasted time doing bicep curls everyday like you see alot of new lifters doing. First picture was taken about two years ago, before my first steroid experience. The seccond picture was about 5 months ago - that was the best shape I've had probably. third picture was taken right at the end of my last cycle - three months ago a little over 104 relaxed, at home. So overall in my heaviest bulking phase I was 28kg heavier then i was 3 years ago. I believe decent ammount of its gotta be muscle...
The last picture is my current shape. And that's where the sad part begins. I was doing Trenbolone in my last cycle - not much but unfortunately I'm somehow really sensitive to its physical sides. I've became crazy, jealousy, paranoid and agressive. I was unable to concentrate to important things, no family, friends, work, cultural activites or anything. I was 107kg huge dude, strong as fuck, all time in the gym. And that's when my gf broke with me, moved to other place and I've almost lost my job. She told me she will come back if I'm able to get back in some mental comfort state and put everything to normal... Man I was a beast I was all time angry, everyone was affraid of me, including family.
So now, Its my third month sober, just finished eight week of PCT and I'm regularly visiting psychotherapist twice a week. I also got some antidepressants. I started doing box to get rid of the anger and stress and I started to do many adrenalline sports as I were used to before I started to only focus on getting bigger and stronger. I feel better now, even my girl started to date me again last week. I don't plan to jump back to AS anytime soon, I really feel like I need to heal myself both, mentaly and physically. And mainly, I'm not touching Trenbolone Acetate never ever, even in low dosages.
That's what I wanted to say - stay safe guys, I screwed up, don't make the same mistakes. You only have one health and there are more important things than to be the biggest guy in the gym.
P.S. I'm definitely going to put some weight back on in next months, or years, but this time I'm going to be much more careful.