Sam I Am's picture
Sam I Am
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Colonoscopy

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Well fellas I've entered my zero week.
My diet will be very limited for four days. The last day will be a liquid fast.
No doubt this is going to be very hard. I never leave the house without a bag of food.
I've broken it down like this.
Thursday , Friday and Saturday this will be my diet
I've added gelatin packets to some of my food because they contain 8 grams of low grade protein
Breakfast : Oatmeal with 1 gelatin packet
2 oz of chi Ken breast
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
Lunch : 2 oz chicken breast
2 servings Greek yogurt with 2 gelatin packs
Potato and plain pasta
Dinner 2 oz chicken breast
1 Greek yogurt 1 gelatin pack
1 potato
Snacks can be pretzels, crackers etc.

Roughly 125 grams of protein ( some low grade )

Last days just liquids

If anyone has any advice or suggestions I'll appreciate it.
I may not log in those days. I expect to be in a foul mood.

sunamcaxa's picture

Im going to colonoscopy in 3 weeks, after reading comments Im pretty scared

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sunamcaxa's picture

its ok then because I go for Ramadan every year, I know that feeling when you hungry Smile

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sunamcaxa's picture

I use to fast Ramadan every year not colon, it’s gonna be first time because I have some stomach problems

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Greg's picture

When you turn gay you'll have to convert to southern baptist.

sunamcaxa's picture

or to Vatikan priest

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Pale's picture

HEYOHHH!!

Greg's picture

LOL

Sam I Am's picture

I survived but I'm having my gallbladder removed in April lol.
Then I'm eating a pizza...havent had one in two years.
Might even get a chili dog from Hardees.

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SIx3230's picture

Did they give you a big bottle of golightly ? I had to help 5 people so far with it.

Engineereddisaster's picture

I always wondered why the call that shit “go lightly”
It had to be a joke by the pharmaceutical company. There ain’t no go lightly about it. Lol

press1's picture

Hope you are doing okay big man Smile

Just remember you can eat F'in everything in sight tomorrow when its over!

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Sam I Am's picture

Two days on restricted diet down one to go. Sundays 0 food day. Eating alot of bread. No nutrition but I'm not hungry.
Fuckin 2 oz portions of chicken. Lol
I hope all you young people enjoy your food : \

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pickle's picture

Just had a colonoscopy and endoscopy done 3 weeks ago. Worst part by FAR was not eating. My doc completely cut me off 48 hours pre op with restrictions 72 hours out (no nuts, red meat, etc). Foul mood is an understatement.

Make sure you grab a ton of baby wipes, you will literally be peeing out your ass, same color as normal pee, and it goes EVERYWHERE (every part of you thats in the toilet bowl gets splashed).

Not sure what your doc is giving you to make the procedure manageable but mine gave me fentanyl, some fast acting valium, and an antihistamine i think. Gave me 2 doses and next thing i knew i was awake in the recovery room with my wife. Either i dont remember anything or i slept through it all, but it worked. Didnt feel a thing after.

Highlight was eating cheeseburgers on the way home (2100 calories worth LOL)

Can you eat Jello the day before?

Greg's picture

Can you eat Jello the day before?

You can't drink anything that can disguise blood (food coloring).

pickle's picture

You can eat certain colored jello. Doc allowed me to eat a box of yellow Jello 28 hours before

press1's picture

A Lot of Credit to you guys for going through with it all and not just putting it off until another day. I cannot even imagine what its like not being able to eat or drink something satisfying such as protein or dairy for 24hrs - you must be ready to rip anyones head off that even tries to talk to you nicely. Must take an extreme amount of willpower to do.

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pickle's picture

To be completely honest i hit fuck it after 5 hours, my wife is the one that kept me going and convinced me to push through and not cancel.

tattoofreak's picture

I've had one colonoscopy and I've had a colonoscopy combined with a stomach reflection. Both were done with propofol. The combined examination wasn't really funny, they didn't give enough gear and I wasn't even a little tired. But it was to endure. The colonoscopy was no big thing, this time they gave me enough drugs. The most sucking point of both examinations was the cleaning out and to be not allowed to eat for around 24 fucking hours.

Engineereddisaster's picture

You just have to remember to say no homo before the snake hits th hole.

Pale's picture

I picture Ed lying on the table chanting no homo as he slips under anesthesia...

fusebox's picture

Count backwards from 10 Ed

10 No Homo
9 No Homo
8 No Homo
7 No hom....

Ed wakes up. No Homo No Homo No Homo

Sam I Am's picture

I could care less about the camera. That liquid diet is gonna suck.

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Drock_357's picture

Just think of it as a mini cut ...a few clean out days and you’ll b primed for the all you can eat buffet!...be a brave lil soldier, you got this
As for the procedure, it’s not a big deal... little gassy afterwards so let em rip!
And despite the rumors, just because your having something thrust into your mangina, it will NOT turn you homo...I’ve had a number of things up there, ( some even by choice), and I’m straight as arrow! No-homo.....
Seriously tho good luck Sam, hope it all goes well

Sam I Am's picture

Bro I've had a screw driver up my ass. Top that...nohomo.

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tattoofreak's picture

By choice, or by accident?

Sam I Am's picture

Neither...

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addicted.to.pain's picture

out of sheer morbid curiosity could you elaborate without getting into to much detail as to how that happen. no homo

Sam I Am's picture

Pretty simple. Six coworkers grabbed me. Three laid on top of me. The other two put there knees over my legs. The last one inserted the screw driver and twisted it in attempt to pull out my ass hair.
Well executed plan.
I got em all back to some degree. No big deal...nohomo

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Sam I Am's picture

It was in a Coalmine. Fact is it hurt less than the firehose I hit the guy in the nuts with in the shower.
Theres a reason they use fire hoses in riots.
I've been hosed down to. I've also been hung off a roof bolt and had rocks thrown at me...Big fun !
We all did shit to each other but those dudes would bail you out if there was serious problems.
We all almost got fired more than once for hazing new hires...

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addicted.to.pain's picture

lol depends on where you work bro, Ive seen practical jokes get way out of control.

Sam I Am's picture

It builds moral...

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addicted.to.pain's picture

oh for sure bro, its all in good fun.

Half of my work days in the military were practical jokes.

Drock_357's picture

Holly Ass Hairs Batman!

Greg's picture

He was trying to poke the gerbil in the eye