Don't Crowd Me Bro!
At 5:00 am, I am at the gym nearly every morning. I lift in the morning for a couple of reasons, one because it doesn't take away from my family time and two because there aren't very many people at the gym when I get there.
When I lift, I'm an asshole. I don't joke, I don't. Play grabass, and I don't dick around.
I go to lift, that's it.
One of my biggest gym irritation is people. Yes, I am nice to everyone, but please don't confuse that with me wanting to be your buddy at the gym. If I smile and make a short compliment, take it and walk away. I don't want to discuss it any further. I'm just an asshole like that. I don't have the time to have a social life at the gym and I don't want it.
I digress. Back to the Don't crowd me thing....
Have you ever taken a shit in a public restroom with a wall full of empty stalls and some dipshit picks the stall right next to you to take a shit when there are 10 other stalls that allow a "courtesy shit buffer" ? I fricken hate that. I don't want to hear the shit crackle as it exits your ass, and I sure as shit don't want to smell it.
To me, the gym is like a shithouse. If there is plenty of open equipment, unless you are a Victoria's Secret model and your ass smells like blueberries, I don't want you lifting two feet away from me. Go somewhere else.
Nothing pisses me off more than some dipshit swinging dumbbells next to me when I'm on a bench doing something.
Yesterday, I was sitting on an incline bench doing dumbbell press. This dipshit kid walks next to me and starts swinging 40 lb dumbbells about a foot away from my dumbbells. I finished my set and dropped a 120 lb dumbbell about and inch away from his foot. He gave this dumbass laugh (smiled like I was his buddy) and said oh man! That about hit my foot! Ha ha.
I said: "sorry, I was hoping it would have hit it, now scoot your ass over about 30 feet."
Maybe it was an asshole move on my end but holy balls kids, when I'm at the gym, give me my space. That's all I ask.
Asshole rant over.
All my love, no homo
Ed
- Bookmark
- 0
- 0
AnonShopping centre empty on walk in..cluster of cars all around your ride on the way out..its universal.
Holy shit it's a Ghost! Good to se you alive Dan.
AnonWas gonna write "I would piss on your feet at the troth"but reconsidered. .
Sup ed
I think pissing on someone's feet at the troth is perfectly acceptable if proper introductions have been made.
Yeah man I think that's starting to be a common place now. It's really pretty simple too, someone already has that area taken up then scoot about 10 over.
Never feel bad for being a dick
I tell my penis that every day.
Ed you always got me rolling man, even when your an asshole. Sound like your on the tren train again jk
Sadly, I'm not on the tren train and can't use that as an excuse for my assholery. I've been sick so I'm pretty much just feeling sorry for myself.
hahahhaah, fucking twiglets!
Fk I just read down...when you guys get goin it is some real laugh out loud shit!
RustyhookerI hear ya. Claustrophobic crap with ding dongs throwing weight with no form and dodging their crap. Bout as bad as the dumbasses that are face to face with mirror all homo on themselves blocking the rack with some curls.
Sometimes I twerk against one of the mirrors in my gym on lower back day.
RustyhookerDude kept blocking the mirror so every time he got eye contact, I winked. He left.....lol
Lol, be careful
That you don't do that to the wrong fella.
RustyhookerTrue. I cant run fast enough anymore. Lol
I'm pretty sure a wink null and void a no homo. I know its in the no homo guide book.
RustyhookerI dont worry about a no homo rule when wifey brings over our gf for a Friday ;) .
I'm pretty sure that the no homo hand book not only allows that without a no homo but it actually encourages it. Lol. I don't get that treatment much lately.
RustyhookerHahaha!!!
I am that way with drivin in a car bro...its about space and being courteous. How we go about coping is how we deal with it! Too close, is too close on some days for some people...40lbs dumbell guy wanted to be noticed...shit least he coulda done was ask u.if u needed spot help and step.back without reservation...
I don't know man. I kind of felt bad for being a dick. :). But not too bad.
One of the very reasons I took it in the ass and bought all the equipment I need to lift in my garage. I dont play nice with others while Im lifting either! And there is alot of "others" prancing around pom pomming eachother at my local gym! Best decision I ever made concerning working out!
I invested in a little home set up as well, bench that can raise up for squats, Olympic curling bar, and Olympic dumbbells I can adjust the weight on. About 600+ pounds of various plates. Oullup bar built outside, made from a couple 4x4x10 concreted two feet in the ground. Its the plates that are expensive, gone through a bench, two curling bars, and one set of dumbbells over the last 14 years. When the weights rust I just spray paint them. I can do a majority of the major lifts, get in the zone and lift not have to worry about anyone interrupting me.dldddxxx
Amen to that brother! Have an olympic bench with pulldown tower, pec deck, power rack with dip station, preacher curl bench, adjustable dbs as well as the big hammers, 80/100/120/150/180, and various bars for arm work. The pride of it all is my old set of Pro-Taper handlebars bolted to the truss I threw up one day for the fk of it lol. They have an angle to them that feels more comfortable and natural than any other pull up bar. Turn up the stereo to just above ear bleed and get ruthless any damn time I feel like it!
Man I think you probably could have just bought the equipment. Usually when the sales reps make you take it in the ass they are just doing it to see if you'll fall for it.
Hopefully you threw in a couple of no homos.
Yeah bro. My wife won't lift with me because she confuses my intensity with anger.
Hahaha mthrfkr! I tried to throw in some no homos but I was grippin my wallet tightly in my teeth...ahhh shit I walked right into that one lmao!
Lol. If you bite down on your wallet it won't hurt as bad. (Old Indian trick)
Lmao! Hot damn you are a Swiss army knife of life hacks brother! I'll definitely keep that in mind for the holiday season rolling around...except this time I'll be prepared with, "no homo" written on a white surrender flag waving it vigorously, double fisted, like I'm shaking coconuts from a palm tree... so there is no misunderstanding haha...knuckles brother Ed!
The "no homo" can be a very powerful tool when you are in a bind.
Fk bro you got me laughin...the Mrs. doesn't like when I laugh while looking at my phone...she gives me Eddy Murphy eyes...
Laughing is good for the abs.
X2..fieldhouse
Truth!
bigmurphIf he was close enough that you really could have dropped the dumbbell on his foot i would have some people just need to learn the hard way
Lol, then I probably would have felt bad. Sure, I'll kill three or four hookers a week but breaking someone's foot...
That's some heartless shit right there.
bigmurphYour a nicer guy then me disaster i feel you can't fix stupid but you're right i wouldn't have felt bad when I did it but after wards I would have felt bad and probably regretted it but i bet word would get around your gym that it's a good idea to give you some space
Please, call me Ed. My friends call me Ed.
Yeah bro. It's probably too late for me to get a mean guy rep in the gym. I think the rumor has already flown around that I'm nice.
My gym is kind of a unique situation. Kind of private but kind of not. Most of the time the guys lifting are acquaintances of mine. It's just the few who find a way to slip through the cracks that lack chill.
bigmurphYeah ed there is always at least one guy that has to be the idiot to always screw a good thing up
DeathstrokeWe have a couple guys too many at my gym that can talk your head off. I mean I don't mind small talk but 10 minutes later conversating while I'm trying to Keep these pumps come on dude lol. Even when I have my headphones I get no breaks from this.
I like my personal space too, random people getting too close for no reason is one of my pet hates. You were entitled to drop Dumbbells on him in my opinion. He should thank you for doing so too.
You'd love the gym I'm training at now. Everything is pretty much on top of everything else. I foresee a few outbursts from me, two worded outbursts, one of which being "off". Then again I don't own this one so I'd better behave.....
Lol, I can't do the crammed gym thing. I'll take pre-historic equipment spread out over a crammed modern gym any day of the week.
Only been there two and a half weeks and it's pissing me off already.
Ace VenturaOkay, so this is more of an issue of etiquette in the modern gym atmosphere, or rather lack there of. More so than an issue of your territorial bubble. That behavior is rampant in this day and age. I thought this was going to be a post about how special ED thinks he is. ...with regard to the shitter, I don't know about you queers, but I very much like a game of footsie with the dude next to me whilst I pinch one off. It helps ease the tension.
Don't get me wrong ace, if someone invades my shitter space, there will be some footsie, and it's a given that I will reach under the stall and say:"hold my hand and count with me! I'm dilated to a 4!".
But that shit is just to ease the tension. I really don't want someone ruining the mood whilst I shit and watch Lord of the rings on my iPhone.
Can't really speak on that as my ass has not touched a public restroom seat in at least 20 years. Can't do it.
But I bitch about the invasion of my personal space and the herd mentality all the time. I assume it's either some inherited defect or mental disorder. I experience it all the time - dozens of empty lockers and they choose the one next to yours; plenty of empty seats and yup they want to cozy up in the next chair; 10 open lanes at the toll both, 8 are empty and there's a line for 2.
I'm that way with my truck! I'll purposely park far out of harms way in a parking lot. Sure enough I walk back out to my truck and some a-hole has wedged himself up next to my driver side...when there was no wedging necessary! A vast array of spots open. One unfortunate person had the audacity to rest his door against my truck while I was in it. Needless to say I wasn't pleased and I'm most certain he got the picture!
Hahaha I feel you brother. My roayl ass will also never touch public shitter.
Wow, the resolve to not shit in public with the amount of protein that you are likely taking in has to make for uncomfortable situations at times. So you are telling me that you won't even shit on a public shitter, even if an ass gasket is provided?
Yeah bro. Space is a beautiful thing. How everyone doesn't appreciate it baffles the shit out of me.
Nothing better than taking a shower at a gym and a 75 year old guy picks the shower next to you just to make sure that you notice his three foot long dong. (Viking!)